Create bad poetry

Discussion in 'Word games' started by Lemex, Oct 22, 2014.

  1. DeadMoon

    DeadMoon The light side of the dark side Contributor

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    Blub Blub Blub
    three rats drown in a tub
     
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  2. minstrel

    minstrel Leader of the Insquirrelgency Supporter Contributor

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    About Pickles

    If it weren’t for Pickles,
    Sour, dilly, vinegar-soaked Pickles,
    Green, firm, crispy, pucker-inducing cold cucumber
    Mouthstuffers
    Long, fragrant, seed-stuffed, cold, chilly puckerizing cucumbers
    Fine brined jerkin’ gherkin refrigerated cold slick wet slippery seed-stuffed cucumiform fruits
    Mouthstuffin’ puckerizin’ fruits-cum-vegetables slick and cold from the fridge
    If it weren’t for them
    This poem wouldn’t be about anything.
     
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  3. minstrel

    minstrel Leader of the Insquirrelgency Supporter Contributor

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    Does pork rhyme with work?
    Does work rhyme with perk?
    Porn rhymes with worn.
    And perm rhymes with worm.
    And wild rhymes with piled
    And not pilled, which rhymes with willed.
    And rhyme rhymes with thyme and time
    Which this poem is a big waste of.
     
  4. Friedrich Kugelschreiber

    Friedrich Kugelschreiber marshmallow Contributor

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    @minstrel, both of those are terrible.
     
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  5. Arcadeus

    Arcadeus Senior Member

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    The Greatest Poem Never Told

    This is the greatest poem to grace your ears,
    Such grace!
    The very sound of this poem elicits cheers,
    So many cheers.
    And if I can remember how I wrote it,
    I'll buy the next round of beers.
    Good beers! ...Like Keystone and Coors.
     
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  6. JPClyde

    JPClyde Senior Member

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    Planter warts
    So calloused
    So hard
    So painful to walk on
    They belong on old ladies
    and this one happens to be in a bikini
     
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  7. minstrel

    minstrel Leader of the Insquirrelgency Supporter Contributor

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    Let the bells ring!
    Ding ding!
    Ping!
    Don’t drink and drive,
    Or drink and do your taxes,
    Or drink and attempt a double back flip with a half twist
    In the pike position off the ten-meter Olympic platform
    For if you do
    Your bell will be rung.
    Dung dung.
    Pung.
     
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  8. Mumble Bee

    Mumble Bee Keep writing. Contributor

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    I walk down the street both my feet
    smitty smack crack and slap.

    I walk down the stairs both my boots
    bumbity dump tump and pump

    I walk off a cliff both my shoes
    wooooooooooooooooooooooooooshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
     
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  9. minstrel

    minstrel Leader of the Insquirrelgency Supporter Contributor

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    JPClyde
    Cried
    Walking on a bikini
    Worn by an old lady
    Named Elsie Schwartz
    Who is hard and calloused
    And covered with plantar
    Warts
     
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  10. JPClyde

    JPClyde Senior Member

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    Minstrel
    dressed thousand years too late
    tries to woo Elsie Schwartz
    in his beach court
    but tempting fate is not
    love when you have
    plantar warts
     
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  11. Arcadeus

    Arcadeus Senior Member

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    Some fantastic renditions by our native Vogon poets.
     
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  12. Myrrdoch

    Myrrdoch Active Member

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    Circuses and Bread;
    Revel, ye masses!
    Engage with anything except
    Anything important.
    Take from life
    Everything but lessons learnt.

    Beg.
    Adore.
    Despise!

    Property!
    Ownership is key
    Existence revolves around
    Taking what you can.
    Repent, minimalist!
    You've knowned nothing
     
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  13. minstrel

    minstrel Leader of the Insquirrelgency Supporter Contributor

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    Bravo, @Myrrdoch! Not only did you include a not-very-well-veiled political message, but you put the thread title into your poem if you read down the first letter of each line. Be aware, though, that tactics such as that cause the poem to verge away from badness towards goodness, and that's not allowed here! ;)
     
  14. Myrrdoch

    Myrrdoch Active Member

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    I'll try to do better next time.
    Errr... I mean worse?
     
  15. minstrel

    minstrel Leader of the Insquirrelgency Supporter Contributor

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    Worse, man! Worse! (But please, not boring...) :D
     
  16. Bjørnar Munkerud

    Bjørnar Munkerud Senior Member

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    Oslo, Norway
    Totally Useless
    I didn't know the seas had genders
    I didn't know the sky was green
    I had nought, but my chic suspenders
    Despite the lies I had foreseen

    I didn't know of rhyme or reason
    I didn't know that time stood still
    Knew not that nearly every season
    Brings more sawdust to the lumber mill

    I didn't know that rubies wither
    I didn't know we weren't ancient
    Was not aware of the snakes that slither
    Had no clue that we were totally useless
     
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  17. Myrrdoch

    Myrrdoch Active Member

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    Is this the hit new screamo song of 2017?

    I think it is.
     
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  18. Bjørnar Munkerud

    Bjørnar Munkerud Senior Member

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    Oslo, Norway
    Hopping About
    I'm jumping around
    Although you told me not to
    I'm neither safe nor sound
    Got mo' than jus' an fews screw loo

    Can't believe you ain't jumping too
    Jus' 'cuz you've got work in the morning
    Doesn't mean you can't kid 'round, boo
    Doesn't mean you have to be so boring

    Come throw rocks at traffic with me
    Let's have some unsafe sex
    Then we'll drink and drive, you see
    So you'll forget about the unsafe sex
     
    Last edited: Jun 26, 2017
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  19. big soft moose

    big soft moose An Admoostrator Admin Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

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    there once was a pigeon
    who wished to be a widgeon
    that he couldn't swimmin
    was an issue, he just had to duck
     
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  20. JPClyde

    JPClyde Senior Member

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    Beauty
    Like bathrobes and sunshine
    they remind me
    of my mother
     
  21. HisSweetheart

    HisSweetheart Member

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    Wouldn't you believe it? I wrote a horrendous poem once and now I can't remember it.
     
  22. minstrel

    minstrel Leader of the Insquirrelgency Supporter Contributor

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    "Parfle, fiffle, wuffle, piffle,
    Odious milquetoast kerplunk.
    Naffle, spiffle, tuffle, sniffle,"
    - Garrulous Tony le Monk
     
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  23. HisSweetheart

    HisSweetheart Member

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    THE FAT THIN MAN
    There once was a fat old man
    Whose abode was a thin old can.
    One day it was his luck
    He just happened to get stuck.
    So he sat and sat and sat
    And got less fat and less fat,
    Til he was a thin old man
    Who dwelt in a fat old can.
    One night he got lost
    In a forest of hoarfrost.
    He fell into a hole
    And was eaten by a mole.
    And that was the end of him,
    The man who was both fat and thin.
     
  24. I.A. By the Barn

    I.A. By the Barn A very lost time traveller Contributor

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    There are some flowers over there,
    They are red, yellow and blue,
    I like your face.
    Go out with me, would you?
     
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  25. JPClyde

    JPClyde Senior Member

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    Toe jam
    is not bread jam
    I forgot the rest of these lines
    So I'll write my shopping list here
    Onions
    Green beans
    Potatoes
    Note to self: Get the wife some flowers from the backyard, she won't know the difference
     
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