1. LostThePlot

    LostThePlot Naysmith Contributor

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    First Person MC Describing Themselves

    Discussion in 'Character Development' started by LostThePlot, Jun 16, 2017.

    So after much editing I have finished another book and I'm starting to pen another teen romance. I'm feeling good about where I'm going with it. The main character is fun and interesting, a very masculine girl who's big and loud and confident, frequently intoxicated, occasionally violent, eats boys for breakfast and gargles with Jack Daniels. And this is all well and good, but there's one thing that I'm not entirely sure how to describe, or at least, how to describe in this book. It's a first person book, all from her point of view, and there's one part of her appearance that I'm not sure how to get across well in this context.

    She's, well, chubby.

    I kinda liked the idea of writing someone who's sexy and confident who's not just a stick insect. It also plays quite well into the idea that she's physically capable, that she isn't scared to get into a scrap, even with boys, and I think that makes more sense if she's physically bigger. It also helps to make her seem less fragile and able to hold her own and thus more likely to be treated as 'one of the lads' which is important to her. So I like this as an idea, that she's tall and broad; a big bonnie lass.

    And this is all well and good. My trouble is that this isn't actually that big a part of her character. Sure, it adds a certain verisimilitude that she can solve problems by punching them, but really it just completes the picture of her. She's definitely not bothered about being chubby; after all boys care rather more that she has (if you'll pardon the expression) a cracking set of bristols than what dress size she is. She's confident that she can shag anyone she wants to and she's definitely not the type to sit around and worry about her weight.

    So with that in mind; how do I describe her? Remember this is all first person, from her point of view. So how would she tell the audience something that she personally doesn't care much about but that I would quite like the audience to know? I don't want to keep harping on it, because I don't want her to be thinking about it all the time but I want it to be in the audience's head and fix that image of her as being physically big.

    It's easy enough to get across that she's tall because I think she quite likes that she's taller than boys who try to chat her up, but that's not quite the same thing. Equally, I think she'd just laugh at anyone who called her fat which more makes the other person sound like they are being mean more than a helpful description. Since she's not really sensitive about it I doubt anyone would try to upset her that way anyway. She spends a reasonable amount of the book wearing one her dad's old bike jackets that she likes wearing because he's an enormous hairy biker and so his jacket is 'boyfriend sized' on her; big and baggy even though she's quite big too. Trouble there is that it would fit the same way on her if she and her dad were both more average sized and it feels way too little to just hope the audience gets the idea from a borrowed jacket being too big on her.

    So; what do you feel is the right way to get this across? Is there a way to reiterate it without it sounding like she's worrying about her weight? Am I stuck with either being too subtle (a boys arms won't meet around her back) or too obvious (well I'm not worried about my weight anyway) or is there some golden mean that I haven't thought about yet?
     
  2. ChickenFreak

    ChickenFreak Contributor Contributor

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    I'm somewhat unclear. "Isn't scared to get into a scrap" suggests more strength than "chubby" does.

    Are we talking Storm Large? Not what I'd call chubby, but she's six feet tall and proportioned accordingly. http://indaily.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/Storm-large-1-850x455.jpg

    China Forbes? Also not chubby, but her dress does drape over a body, instead of hanging as if from a pole. http://c8.alamy.com/comp/GPYWDX/singer-china-forbes-of-the-us-band-pink-martini-performs-during-the-GPYWDX.jpg

    Pre- or post- weight loss Melissa McCarthy? http://www.pkbaseline.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/melissa_mccarthy_weight_loss.png

    One possibility could be clothes sizes--not in the sense of fussing over them, but in the sense of just having trouble finding decent clothes in her size. Bra sizes. The expense of a really good sports bra. The laughable inadequacy of a hotel robe. That kind of thing. I would also expect that people would try to make her feel ashamed of her size.

    Hmm.
     
    Last edited: Jun 17, 2017
  3. Homer Potvin

    Homer Potvin A tombstone hand and a graveyard mind Staff Supporter Contributor

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    She sounds like she's built like a linebacker... that's the word I always use to describe a tall, broad, not necessarily fat woman. And if she's a football fan you might be able to sneak in a reference in that context.
     
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  4. ChickenFreak

    ChickenFreak Contributor Contributor

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    Rough concept:

    Joe liked to loom over girls, alternating between intimidating them and giving them what he regarded as the priceless gift of his approval. He made his progress to the field on game days a parade, helmet in hand, tiny cheerleader on the other arm.

    Me? Not tiny. I stood tall enough that my head tilted just a little bit down when Joe and I made eye contact. And I'm pretty sure that I could take him down on the field.

    So Joe didn't so much like me. And he hated it that his teammates would fall into a daze, watching me, when I passed them in the hall.​
     
    Last edited: Jun 17, 2017
  5. NoGoodNobu

    NoGoodNobu Contributor Contributor

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    I would probably make a snide remark about her being someone who likes to throw their weight around, and was she proud she had a deal of weight to throw.

    You could also have her revel in her physique at the start of a brawl. Maybe even if another girl was stupid to say something to start a fight then instantly regret it when she remembered who she was talking to, MC could comment on the nervous backing out, and "obviously a twig like that wouldn't hold out two minutes with me. But that's to be expected when my physique's all rough & tumble and hers barely enough for exhibiting the latest fashion trends."
     
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  6. LostThePlot

    LostThePlot Naysmith Contributor

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    It's definitely both. She is big built, for a sixteen year old girl anyway, she's maybe five nine with broad shoulders and hips. Even if she had no fat on her she'd never be small. But I think she's chubby too. I wouldn't say she's fat as such, but she's probably a size 14 or 16 (in British sizes) with a bit of a tummy. She's bigger built and so can carry a bit more weight and not worry, but like all the girls I knew like her she's still got a bit of puppyfat and doesn't really make an effort to lose weight. Between booze and frequent bouts of the munchees she's definitely going to be a bit chubby on top of her build.

    That she isn't scared to physically fight comes from her upbringing, spending her whole life around bikers and sitting on her Dad's hardley cheering when he kicks someone's head in. So she'd be comfortable being aggressive anyway. She couldn't get away with that as a skinny little thing, clearly she needs to be big and I agree that she doesn't necessarily need to be chubby to be physically imposing. But I do think that having a bit more bulk helps her seem more real. All of the girls I knew that were physically larger built were a bit chubby too; not lots, but a bit.

    I want her to look like someone that my audience goes to school with. There are girls out there who are both big and athletic, but she isn't one of them. She's not into sports, she's into drunkenly shagging your boyfriend. I don't want her to be an amazon. I want her to still be sexy and physically capable, but not just perfect. She's definitely not someone that people just drool over; she's pretty but really she gets boys by being a really good laugh and by being confident enough to go chat them up herself.

    All these things I think play together to make her feel like someone real. I think being a bit fat plays into the rest of her, even if you could write her without it.
     
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  7. LostThePlot

    LostThePlot Naysmith Contributor

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    I think these are definitely the kind of thing that I'm looking for. My girl would probably say something more like 'if you bang her hard she'd snap' but I think that's the sort of thing I want, that she's a bit dismissive of the skinny girl for being feinting little princesses who need someone to walk them home from a party. I guess it's just trying to find the right situations for this sort of stuff to naturally come out in. We aren't going to see her get into an actual confrontation until later in the book, but I think this is the right direction.
     
  8. BayView

    BayView Huh. Interesting. Contributor

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    I think that even if she isn't self-conscious about her weight, other people might try to pick on her about it, and she could respond in a way that shows she doesn't care while still showing that she's not denying it.

    "You think you're special? You really think Blake would be interested in a whale like you?"

    "He seemed interested enough last night. Maybe he's getting tired of holding your hair back while you puke up your dinner."​

    Or whatever. A couple little comments is all it would take.
     
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  9. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll It's Coffee O'clock everywhere. Contributor

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    Where cushions are comfy, and straps hold firm.
    I think something simple and fitting will do just fine.
    She could be considered to be a curvy fiery amazon.
    They tend to be tall and stout built with a little extra
    padding. I tried to find a good visual aid, but well
    that would prove to be a bit complicating. Though
    we can estimate her to be 6-6 ft 9 tall, giving her
    the height advantage over her male peers.
     
  10. JPClyde

    JPClyde Senior Member

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    I think it depends on the character. I write in first person often and I use description of other characters to describe themselves. Because I'll be frank and say to me in the real world and not as a fictional character its weird to just look at myself and describe myself. I don't think most people describe themselves unless their comparing themselves to other people. In general it be something like, "He's shorter than me him at 5'5" was starting to make me feel like an Amazonian at 5'8" without heels"
     
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  11. KaTrian

    KaTrian A foolish little beast. Contributor

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    As others have suggested, her size and weight could be referenced by other characters. "She looks like she's never missed a meal" or "she shouldn't wear a crop top with those sausage rolls" or "cottage cheese thighs and daisy dukes don't go well together".

    She might also joke about her body shape if she doesn't strut the "coveted" hourglass figure, something like, "Yeah maybe I'm shaped like an avocado but I don't care, I like shoveling peanut butter straight out of the jar, so fuck you."

    Or maybe someone has parked their car very close to hers and she can't get in, or during a night out she loses/ruins her shirt and has to borrow one from a size 0 friend and it doesn't fit.

    And there are many ways to show her lack of fitness. She gets winded quickly from climbing a flight of chairs, or when having sex (unless she just always lays on her back or stomach).
     
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  12. Mckk

    Mckk Member Supporter Contributor

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    Your character would definitely have both friends and enemies commenting on her weight. She might not care, but the comments will come anyway. I actually think it would be especially the girls who would pick on her, because society says you gotta be skinny to be popular and your MC defies this, which would cause resentment. They would try and bring her down to their level.
     
  13. Atrophied_Silence

    Atrophied_Silence Active Member

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    I like that you are not solely basing her character off that characteristic. It drives me insane when someone is just 'the pudgy one'. Absolutely no dimension to gain from that. It sounds like you have some potential development for her as the story progresses too

    How I personally would handle a scenario like this would be to use the MC's environment to reflect her weight. None of this "After looking in the mirror I saw ____" or "Last night the weight scale said ___". An example I could use would be if she were walking through the store with some friends and noticed a water bottle that said something along the lines of 'Skinny Girl' she could throw a quip and jive about it for one sentence then brush it off.
     
  14. DaniEllis

    DaniEllis New Member

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    Like you say that is tricky, but if if your character doesn't care about her weight neither should you. Don't let her comment on it, unless it has to do with what's going on, instead drop subtle hints of it, or let other people comment on it like, I don't know her mother or a friend saying she should try a bigger size. Not necessarily in a mean-spirited kind of way, you know, just casual.
     

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