I'm actually trying to iron out two things. See my other thread here. Old beginning: Zarakharn, the emperor, returns home, anxious to meet with someone who has something he wants. He enters the throne room where that person, a shady character named Daktarash, is waiting for him with the object, an ancient sword. Daktarash explains that he was given the sword by a mysterious informant to sell to Zarakharn. (Daktarash also doubts that Zarakharn is actually Zarakharn, thinking that the emperor is using the face of a younger dragon to represent him, since Zarakharn does not physically age.) Zarakharn confirms the sword's authenticity and pays Daktarash his reward, a very exorbitant sum which he can retire on several times over. Daktarash and the emperor part ways, and Daktarash leaves. However, instead of leaving the palace, he ducks into a room and takes off his clothes (he doesn't have many, since my dragons have no concept of physical modesty) and acquires a set of sheets for the pretext of making Zarakharn's bed. He flies up to Zarakharn's room and searches it until he finds a crystal that his informant hired him to find. His informant claims to be from the IDIP, the police division responsible for tracking down high-priority criminals. The informant gave him the sword as bribery to steal the crystal, since the informant knew Zarakharn would pay heftily for it, suggesting Daktarash ask ten thousand ingzai for it. The informant threatens to put him in prison if he keeps the reward without stealing the crystal. So Daktarash steals it, but is spotted by Zarakharn's pet cobra, who pursues him. However, Daktarash easily outruns the snake and flies off, so the cobra alerts Zarakharn, who flies off and teleports to Kharda's, the crime boss Daktarash is headed to see after stealing the crystal who happens to be Zarakharn's cousin. (This is the other part I'm trying to iron out.) On the way to Kharda's, Daktarash loses the crystal. When Daktarash gets to Kharda, he pays him a cut of the reward, but Kharda sells him out to Zarakharn in return for the full sum. New beginning: The same thing would happen but from Daktarash's perspective. Although other characters would say his name, he would be referred to in the narrative as "the thief" and such terms to indicate he is basically cannon fodder (he dies in the next chapter after Zarakharn interrogates him about the crystal.) The story would open with Daktarash awaiting Zarakharn's arrival, going over the events leading up to this in his head, with the informant and writing to Zarakharn about the sword and such, and Zarakharn would make his appearance. The part where Zarakharn goes after Daktarash would be cut and left in the background for a reveal when Kharda sells him out. (Meaning, it would still happen but there wouldn't be a scene about it.) So, which do you think I should go with? If I go with the old beginning, I risk confusing the reader about who they're supposed to root for, since Daktarash is merely a catalyst and Zarakharn is the antagonist. If I go with the new beginning, I lose the imagery in the beginning as Zarakharn arrives that establishes the setting.
You've explained your beginning, but without seeing what you wrote it's hard to say if it works or not.
It sounds like Daktarash is the lower-ranked, lower-powered character, and lower-powered characters are pretty much always more interesting. Also, it sounds like he's driving a lot more of the action. So that would make me lean toward starting with him. However, starting from the point of view of a character that will promptly die tends to annoy the reader. Hmm. I'm also confused as to why, when you switch to Daktarash's perspective, the events that involve Daktarash seem to be less thoroughly dealt with? Maybe I'm just misintepreting your summaries, but...
At this point I'd say try each and see which grows on you. The worst that can happen is you don't like the rewrite and go back to the original.
I thought you were trying to write it in omniscient? That means it's less important if Dak dies, albeit not entirely unimportant. Zarak is as much a main character as Dak in the first chapter, so at least you won't be killing the main character, as you would be if you rewrote it from Dak's POV (which means you're thinking about not going Omni, right?). Do these first two chapters take place as the story unfolds, or are you going to be skipping a lot of time? As an omniscient story, you can easily introduce another character (like the true MC) within the first chapter (when the orb floats away is a good spot; to show who finds it). An Omni story doesn't have to be in chronological order--it can jump around in time and space; that's one of it's strengths, so don't be afraid to use it.
