you should write your biography - admittedly this is only my mum who often follows up with "it could be like the James Herriot of nature conservation" ... she doesn't get that I'm no good at the fluffy bunny style that requires, or that my career is not that interesting. This often follows on to "why is there so much violence and swearing in your books ?" umm because i'm writing about soldiers, mercenaries, police and criminals
-Oh really? I didn't peg you for a writer. Me: Oh, why is that? -Well, Your sense of humor is kind of childish and I don't know, you don't seem too articulate. Me: Excuse me bitch! -I still love you though. (Introducing: My friends.)
"Ooooh, you're going to be so rich, you won't want to talk to us anymore!" Any answer to that sounds mercenary. and "You're writing about domestic terrorists? That's icky. Why would anyone want to write about that?" Because, um, evil exists in the world and it's better to stare it in the face rather than have it jump you from behind?
Lately I've gotten "Had anything else published?" a few times, which is very well meaning, I know - but it makes me want to rant about how, actually, getting shit published is difficult, and I'm pretty sure it's a fluke that it happened before
"How many pages is it?" "Can you add me into your story?" "When is it coming out?" I've actually come up with answers to all of these, 1 - Nine thousand; pretty short read, eh? 2- Sure, you'll be an extra body under the serial killers belt. If I like you, details will be given into your book death. 3- Sometime this century. Place a pre-order right now an I'll personally give you a copy. I wanna read a flash piece now.
This sounds like the book my daughter's writing...all the characters are based upon somebody she knows...warts and all...warts especially!
I was asked what genre I was writing. I said romance. They said, "Wow. I wouldn't have expected you to write mindless simpering fluff." O_0 I don't know what they would have said next because I had to walk away so I wouldn't punch them.
Oddly enough when I was asked that and said action adventure, I was accused of writing "mindless boys own rubbish" some people will only be happy if you are writing high brow intellectual musings on the nature of being qua being
@big soft moose They wouldn't be happy then either, they'd just act like they were so they wouldn't have to admit they didn't understand what the hell you were talking about.
UGH! It's always so long winded and pretentious! My favourite when people find out I write is, "so, do you have, like, a real job, too?" Or, "must be nice to be able to sit around in coffee shops all day."
Oooh, boy! This is my dream thread! "Can you put me in your book?"/ "You should name the main character after me!" "What's your book about?" [I (try to) explain] "Wow, that sounds really boring. You should make it about [something completely different]." "Why are the characters so young?" (Because they're kids' books.) "Have you finished your book yet?" (When I've already explained that it'll take years.) Someone once told me that if I had them traditionally published, the publishers would take all the money, so I should self-publish (I have nothing against self-publishing, by the way), and someone else told me that my books would be worth less as I was a minor. And last but not least: "You should dedicate it to me!" (Why?!) Edit: Ooh! Forgot! "Why don't they just [do something that would necessitate a modern setting when I've explained that they're both set in the past]?"
People always say that, then they can't read my writing, so I have to read it out, then they keep interrupting, asking questions that will be answered if they just let me finish! Someone once told me that I hadn't put in enough detail because I didn't specify the type of biscuits a character was taking with her tea.
Those are the bigger kind of goblins right? Usually when I've mentioned writing I get blank looks and no follow up questions. My friends aren't big readers.
This is my favorite response. What a horrible question to ask someone! ...And I love how there is a similar line in the movie "Duplex" when the old lady upstairs finds out he's a writer.
That's what I thought too, initially. Since then I've been informed that they are British cookies. They're fantastic by the way (certain people talked about them so much I had to order some and they are wonderful).
If all the people who say that to me actually do read it, I'll be in a heap of trouble, because most of them are underage and my book ain't YA nor Middle Grade.
