1. Laurus

    Laurus Disappointed Idealist Contributor

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    Unique voices without resorting to stereotypes

    Discussion in 'Character Development' started by Laurus, Jun 27, 2017.

    Voice is the single biggest obstacle I've faced when writing my characters. I know the characters I'm writing are different but I don't know how to make them sound different. Here's my issue: my casual speaking voice, the one I use here on the forums or in person with anyone of any sort of familiarity, is long-winded, parenthetical, grammatically bullshit, often vulgar and laden with slang, and just generally an affront to the proper speaking folks. But my written voice falls somewhere in between Henry James, William James, and whatever imprint the APA manual I was beaten over the head with left on my brain.

    Basically, all of my characters end up sounding like 19th century philosophers except when I attempt to give them a unique voice. Then they just end up sounding like stereotypes. So I have a few questions that I hope you all can help me out with.

    What's the balance between dialect and nonverbal characterization that gives a character a unique voice? For example, if we had male former drill sergeant, female child psychologist, and female mechanic all say the line:

    "I would understand if you didn't want to come back,"

    how would the dialect change for each character to give him/her a unique voice? I imagine it would depend largely on that character's background and personality, but if we took took two characters who speak in similar ways due to their similar backgrounds, then where does the characterization happen? How do I avoid a situation where it sounds like one person is talking to himself? Beats with nonverbal characterization?

    For some context, I mostly write short stories, so I don't have much room for extensive exposition relating to character backgrounds. Or maybe I'm just using the space I have ineffectively, I'm not sure. But I'm hoping I can start fixing it now.
     
  2. Mouthwash

    Mouthwash Senior Member

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    I enjoyed this. You might also.

     
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  3. Laurus

    Laurus Disappointed Idealist Contributor

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    Is that the guy from Writing Excuses? I'll check it out though, thanks! I got time to kill today.
     
  4. BogLady

    BogLady Active Member

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    I see what you are saying. I just tried saying this line allowed based on the characters voices you provided and found myself stereotyping.
    Oh I see a writing task coming on, un-stereotype the character, Hmmmm
     
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  5. Laurus

    Laurus Disappointed Idealist Contributor

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    Yeah! So I'm not crazy! Nuance without becoming bland when it comes to dialogue is my...something. I don't know idioms. It's a boulder in my way and I need to blow it up.
     
  6. BayView

    BayView Huh. Interesting. Contributor

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    I think "unique" voices are over-rated. Most people with similar attitudes and similar backgrounds speak in a similar manner. And a lot of the differences that may exist will be difficult to convey in written dialogue without getting stupidly phonetic.

    I also think it's a bit limiting to try to have all the different characters say the same thing. For the example exercise, maybe the drill instructor wouldn't understand if the person didn't want to come back. Or maybe he'd convey his understanding with a grunt or a nod or an offer to keep a bunk open just in case or whatever. So, maybe:

    Drill Instructor:

    "I should be there," Becky said.

    Gus looked at her for a long minute, then shrugged. "If you say so."​

    Child Psychologist:

    "I should be there," Becky said.

    "Going back might be difficult. It might bring up some unpleasant memories and associations. Does this feel like a good time for you to go through all that?"
    Mechanic:

    "I should be there," Becky said.

    "Yeah? Why?" Annie peered out from under the hood. "I mean, you don't have to. If you don't want to. Nobody's going to judge you for that."​
     
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  7. Homer Potvin

    Homer Potvin A tombstone hand and a graveyard mind Staff Supporter Contributor

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    I'm not seeing how it would be possible to infer a person's profession/background from voice alone. Have you ever had a job where you have to answer phones? Not necessarily customer service or telemarketing, but anything where there is a telephone involved? If you worked in a store and received a few dozen calls would you be able to infer anything about somebody who calls to say, "What time do you close today?"

    I wouldn't worry about trying to make your character unique through dialogue alone. How they react to a situation would be more realistic. Characterization tends to be more about how your characters see the world, not how you as an author see the characters.
     
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  8. Scotty455

    Scotty455 Member

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    "For example, if we had male former drill sergeant, female child psychologist, and female mechanic all say the line:

    "I would understand if you didn't want to come back," "

    I think the problem is with the question itself. If the only information we have about these characters - the drill sergeant, female child psychologist and female mechanic - is of their profession, then of course the voice that ends up sounding stereotyped because you are trying to create a voice based solely on their job. Unless your characters are one dimensional, there are lots more to these characters than their profession. For example, my mum was a mental health nurse, but if you got on her wrong side you would wish that she was a drill sergeant. Likewise, my old headmaster acted like the biggest asshole in the world, but in private conversation, he was quiet and reserved.

    However, like you say, you are a short story writer. You don't necessarily have time to characterise the drill sergeant beyond their occupation. The voice is stereotyped because that's all you know about the character. And sometimes, that's all the information you need. For short stories, a lot of characters are simple and one dimensional. It's not necessarily a bad thing. (For all his homophobic remarks), Scott Card's MICE quotient is useful for understanding what kind of story you are trying to tell. If you are writing a story about an event, such as a female mechanic digging up an ancient relic, then maybe the story is about the ancient relic and not the female mechanic. In that kind of story, a deep psychological profile of the mechanic's traumatic childhood would distract from the purpose of your story. However, if you were writing a character story, where the female mechanic was losing their job and could no longer support her children, then you sure as hell need to show me more than just her profession.

    It's all relative. As everyone else has pointed out, your characterisation should extend beyond dialogue. A psycologist picks up on things that a mechanic wouldn't, and vice versa. It's not about trying to phrase the ""I would understand if you didn't want to come back" in a different dialect so much as finding out the reasons why your character would say that given their circumstances.
     
  9. Mouthwash

    Mouthwash Senior Member

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    People mention Iain Banks or China Mieville without labeling them an anti-Semite/Stalinist in the same breath. Is it asking a lot to show OSC the same respect?
     
    Last edited: Jun 27, 2017
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  10. Thundair

    Thundair Contributor Contributor

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    I change the pace by using shorter sentences, and sometimes I use a longer pause.
    The FBI agent in my story cusses every chance he gets, and he is type A, for aggression.
    Recently the editor wanted to embellish a character with doilies and a cup of tea. My response to him was, he had deduced that from her conversation with the MC, and I think any other reader may also. The slang helps identify a person, but it should be used lightly.
    I have two wannabe gangsters in my story, and you can tell without a tag who is speaking, and yet the slang is kept to a minimum.
    So my point would be that each character could say the same thing but not with the same words in the same order. Does that make sense?
     
  11. Lew

    Lew Contributor Contributor

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    People talk the way they talk

    Drill Sergeant "Y'all don't come back, don't much give a shit."
    Child Psychologist "I would understand if you don't come back."
    Female mechanic "Be OK if you don't come back"

    Imagine your characters talking, and write them that way.

    My pirate is urbane, witty, self-educated, very precise in speech, unflappable. Except the one time when they discover their cover is blown and ask him, as he is leading the escape, "Where do we go now?" "Someplace else. As fast as possible." As flapped as he ever gets.

    The senator is slightly pompous, well-spoken, never uses profanity, but the one time he does, everyone notices. He loses a lot of his pomposity, along with 50 pounds, on the long way back home.

    The officer is well-spoken, seldom uses profanity, the centurion speaks "fractured" soldier's Latin, which I render as "Cockney-esque" "Sir with all respect, yer could git yersel' kilt doin' that shit." Underneath it all, he is well-educated and can speak proper Latin with the best, but that is a side of himself he seldom shows; protective coloration.

    Everyone speaking Aramaic is rendered in a King James English style "Thou sayest" etc. to distinguish it from Greek or Latin. Greek is rendered as a bit high falutin', almost British in style, always precisely correct in grammar, whereas Latin is just plain speaking, American style, contractions allowed.
     
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  12. Laurus

    Laurus Disappointed Idealist Contributor

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    I wasn't trying to infer profession/background from voice, but wondering how profession/background might influence voice. But you answered my question anyway. The dude in the video that Mouthwash provided said the same thing, so it's good to hear that echoed.

    Makes sense. I don't think I explained my example well enough though. Imagine if all three of those characters were in a situation where they wanted to express the sentiment, ""I would understand if you didn't want to come back." How would I characterize those people so that the reader can tell them apart? Which is a moot point since you too answered my question. Bad example, good example, doesn't much matter now.

    That does make sense. That's kind of where I was before hearing all these responses and watching the video. I was trying to characterize by reworking a general sentiment into a specifically-worded sentence that was meant to reflect the character, but I realize now that there's more to it than that.
     
  13. Simpson17866

    Simpson17866 Contributor Contributor

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    1) Brainstorm a list of as many aspects of speech as possible:
    • Sentence length
    • "I" focus versus "You" focus versus "We" focus
    • Getting to the point versus starting with tangents and working back
    • Saying one thing at a time versus rambling
    • Content (what does the person notice about the world based on what they've learned and/or been interested in)
    2) Come up with a rule at random about one or more of these aspects of speech
    • I have one guy in my Doctor Who fanfic doesn't use relative pronouns if I can avoid it (versus "I have one guy in my Doctor Who fanfic who doesn't use relative pronouns if I can avoid it")
    3) Write a character's lines in a way that fits the rule, even if it doesn't feel natural

    4) Edit the character's lines to feel more natural while still following the rule
     
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  14. Seraph751

    Seraph751 If I fell down the rabbit hole... Contributor

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    All stereotypes orginate from oddities.
    Have a quirk/flaw/trait with your character, something consistent that defines them. Then apply it to their [daily] lives.
     

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