How many of you have or currently let your significant other read your work? Does it seem to go well for the most part?
My husband has read most of my original fiction at the WIP stage. He's a great beta reader and it's worked out fine for us.
My partner has only read a short story of mine and helped me improve a few sentences. He's not really into reading though, otherwise it would have been great if he could beta read for me. I hope I could convince him to read a longer story when I have one ready.
I'm very keen for my fiancee to read my work, but she has yet to do so (five years and counting). Whether it's a good idea I suppose depends on your relationship. If you are already in it for the long haul then you probably aren't too worried about baring your soul to your partner. If you don't necessarily know that yet, then maybe not. Asking anyone to read your work is, in so many words, asking them to rip it apart and tell you everything bad about it. For some people they have the kind of relationship where that's not a problem at all but I can certainly understand why people might not be so keen on the prospect. I definitely wouldn't judge any spouse for saying 'You know I think that's not a good idea'. Especially if you write things that they wouldn't normally be reading then just asking them to take a lot of time and effort out of their lives just to please you may well be poorly advised.
For fiction, yes, my wife reads everything that I write and often even edits it with me. Listening to her read it aloud for the first time makes anything that's awkward really stand out. For scientific papers, I tend to just ask my peers and maybe discuss it abstractly with her.
Not to be the voice of negatively, but my SO and I recently split up due in part to her having read something of mine. It was more of a straw that broke the camel's back situation, to be fair. A previous girlfriend was super engaged with and supportive of my writing. Not much help as a beta or anything, but great moral support.
My wife and I got together because we were both writers. She often is the one I go to if I need help with this or that. And vice versa. We critique each other's work and edit each other's work as well. Tell each other what and what does not work. Its one of the many reason I love her because she can engage me with thoughtful, intellectual conversation about my work.
no- i actually don't let anyone read my work, if/when i get published, then i will have everyone read it. i am a delicate flower and don't take criticism well. . . . .
What does it mean when your lover starts to read your work but doesn't seem to want to anymore? Love me and all my art, damn it!
Revenge is a dish best served cold. Here's what you do: wait for your lover to come to you with something important to them. Act enthusiastic and supportive at first. Tell them how proud you are. Lure them into a sense of false security. Delay, delay, delay. Wait until they're practically bursting with anticipation and then reject them like a dog rejecting her own puppies. Leave 'em writhing and struggling to breathe in their own placenta. Then go drink a beer. Kidding. Don't do any of that shit. That's petty and small-minded. I gave up the ghost of family and friend support vis a vis writing a long time ago. It's nice if you can get it and certainly welcomed, but don't let it get you off your game. People are complicated. And often times you won't get out of a relationship what you put into it. This is fine. The short answer is that nobody gives a shit, so if you look for validation beyond your own pride and satisfaction you might end up being disappointed. It's a cruel world and writing is a cutthroat business, both professionally and psychologically. Wear a helmet. Too cynical? Sorry, but friends and family suck when it comes to writing/critique/beta-reading. It's not about the work. It's about you. A book is a fleeting, ephemeral thing to those that aren't into it, but the relationship is permanent (hopefully). There's no victorious endgame for a lover to risk extricating your relationship from a collection of words you slapped together. That's why you should embrace your internet/forum friends! We're anonymous, funny people living in your computer or mobile device who will never have to deal with your feelings or ego and can keep the thing about the thing without worrying about it morphing into something else. ETA: I think Biggie Smalls said it best in The Ten Crack Commandments, "Number seven, and this rule is so underrated: keep your family and business completely separated. Blood and money don't mix...."
Or at the very least. She seems surprised at every twist! My special person loves my work. To the degree that they don't even want my to delete my failures that I feel need to be redone completely over editing.
When I let me read my work, there is a fair chance it will be edited to some to degree and some things noted for revision or rewritten entirely. Sometimes I can be a bit harsh on the other me. (Note to self, get a real lover.)
I guess I have an honest lover... hates 50% of what I write, loves the other half. In terms of uselfullness, it's a bit like being woken up in the middle of the night on a boat to be notified that the paddle is missing
It's quite different being with a writer vs. a non writer. You really can't discuss the craft so much with a non writer without boring them a little (or a lot), I've found. Feedback boils down to "It's good" and that's pretty much it. But my lover is a big reader like me and we like the same kind of books. Do any of you have any tips on how to make someone who's not a writer a good beta reader?
I have a non-writer beta who catches more missing words, punctuation mistakes, and continuity pitfalls than the rest of my betas together. She's a HEAVY reader though, so things stand out to her easily. Tell them to read more I guess?
I think readers usually know what they like and don't like about something, they just don't have the words for it. My brother isn't a writer, but we talk about books and movies and the like that we've both read/seen and he's picked up a ton of the terms I use. He may not always use them %100 appropriately, but I know what he's getting at. It's also more fun to just talk about things than try to give someone you like homework.
I think it just means don't read it to her for a while? And let her know that you would like her to hear it but don't want to force it on her, so you'll wait. Or maybe ask why?
My husband says he doesn't want to read it until its finished. He says (which I think is a cop out by the way), I know you're a good writer and I can't wait to read it. However, any time he's done something minute with his n-scale train hobby I need to know about it, come down to look at it, and give out critiques and accolades... I have a mind to be petty
Not really, at least not from me! It's actually just the luck of the draw. The only requirement is that they generally enjoy reading. I am happy to give out my book to anybody who has asked to read it, but I never ask somebody to read it. I just let it be known I've written a book. If they volunteer, fine. If they don't, fine. That at least eliminates the unwilling. I also make it crystal clear at the start that if they don't get on with the book and find it a chore to read, just stop and let me know they've stopped, so I'm not eagerly awaiting feedback. There will be absolutely no hard feelings, and I mean that. Not everybody enjoys the same things. My husband has read my book twice, (his idea, not mine) in two different incarnations. However, his feedback has been minimal and not terribly helpful. It's characteristic of him that he forgets what he's read almost immediately afterwards, and that applies to every book he reads. I've spoken to him about main characters in books we've both just finished reading, and his response is always "who?" I think it's part of his training as a news sub. They deal with a story, fix it, and move on. The story is forgotten as soon as the changes are finished. My husband is supportive of my writing though, and I think he's proud of the fact that I finished a novel. He tells his friends about how I've written a novel, which is very nice to hear. I have been continually surprised at what makes a good beta, and what doesn't. Writers can put labels on what works and what doesn't, but some really helpful 'advice' has come to me from non-writers. A non-writer who can tell you where they got bored, or which characters don't seem quite real, or events they think couldn't possibly have happened (and why), and they can tell you where they couldn't figure out what was happening, and where they had an emotional reaction to certain scenes. These kinds of observations are feedback gold. As a writer, you are often too close to the writing process to see where your tricks don't work. What I've always cherished is the feedback from both writers and non-writers where they talk to me about what happened in the story, and about my characters. Those are the people who got what I was doing, and weren't simply proofreading.
This made me laugh. My ex was like this as well, but when I actually finished it she suddenly lost interest I felt pretty petty about that one.
