Things That Annoy Me, But Shouldn't

"There'll be a rendezvous of strangers 'round the coffee urn tonight. All the gypsy hacks and the insomniacs..."

 

People fapping over Elon Musk's plans to go to Mars and me over here like: "Um... No magnetosphere. None. Chromosomes = FRIED if we try to live on the surface." I get the neato whiz-bangerie of the idea, but we have a whole continent here on Earth, which benefits from actually having an existing magnetosphere and atmosphere - Antarctica - and we barely have even the tiniest toehold of a presence there because the conditions are simply too vicious, and that place is a paradise compared to Mars. So....

 

Musk is a smart guy. He's aware of all the points you make. He's just keeping his name in the news, associated with whiz-bangerie, because it helps his real businesses like Tesla and SpaceX.

Still, it's only a matter of time before Musk establishes his Antarctic supervillain lair, and, with his army of brainwashed penguins, launches his bid for world domination...

 

"Well pack your lead teddy honey, we're going Mars."
(Possible conversation of one of the people ready to
jump on the Red Planet Express.)

 

Yeah, I think of all the people on earth to become a super villain my money is on Musk. He even as a proper comic book villain name. He sounds like he should be someone who's friends with Lex Luthor. One day it'll turn out that actually he has secret remote control over every Tesla motor and all the super batteries and renewable energy and from there he just need to start asking for...



And then we're all fucked.

 

People that don't like Halloween. Okay, if you have diabetes then I understand not liking the candy part, but dammit dressing up and acting like a spooky silly character and running around is fun.

 

"We have a couple hundred years worth of technology to perfect before can send it ahead of us to prepare for our arrival."
I have a feeling down the road Musk may be thought of as a cult leader in some ways.

 

Parents that force their belief system onto their children (teach your child how to think, not what to think).

 

Actually, that annoys me. And it should annoy me, when it poison's the child's perception of life. The problem is that it doesn't annoy the parents at all.

 

Too late anyway, according to Robert Silverberg.

 

When people call films "shows" or magazines "books".

 

People who use the half empty/half full glass analogy and always seem to assume that half full is positive and half empty is negative.

Depends if you are thirsty dickhead is what I can only think to throw back at them.

I know, it shouldn't matter, but it pisses me off to no end to have to listen to morons who repeat what they heard instead of thinking for themselves.

 

My cable bill.

 

I guess half empty could be good from a Buddhist standpoint, and the cup can receive more knowledge?

 

It just means you have more room in your glass for more liquor.

 

People who say "It is what it is."

Roz Chast had this cartoon in The New Yorker:

 

Oh YES. People who whistle. Here in Scotland it's nearly always a man, for some reason. In fact I have never, in my 31 years of residence, encountered a phantom whistler who was a woman. These jokers get on a bus, tunelessly (but loudly) whooshing away like the wind in a drain pipe—and they keep it up. Or they stand behind you in a queue or in front of you at a counter, and that aimless whistling signals their impatience to be gone or to be waited on. When I worked as a medical receptionist, I had patients who would do this, while I was getting a file from the shelves, or finishing a phone call. It drove me to eating my own innards.

WHERE did this infuriatingly annoying, attention-seeking, and utterly useless habit come from, I wonder? And yes, some bus drivers do it as well, making the trip a (hopefully short) journey from hell.
OMIGOD. And yet, it's such a petty thing to get annoyed about.... GRRRRRRRR.....rrrrr.....

 

You know they only do it because it annoys you, right

 

Actually, I don't think so. I think it's just a way of saying 'I'm here, right here, don't ignore me.' I think if they knew what I really want to do is murder them where they stand, they might stop. Or not. Phantom whistlers be afraid. Be very afraid.

 

People who pronounce "jewelry" as "joolery."

Yeah, I know that there's a historical reason for it. A few centuries ago, it was often spelled "jewellery" and some dialects transformed the "ewe" to "oo" and kept the final "e" while others kept the "ewe" and dropped the final "e."

But it grates on me all the same, probably because some elementary school teacher inveighed against the "joolery" pronunciation. It might have been the same one who insisted that I pronounce the "h" in "wheel" and "which" and "whether" although nobody in my part of the country ever did.

 

People who don't drink enough water. I shouldn't have to hear you dry swallow from across the room because all you know how to drink is coffee and sand.

 

People who attention seek, especially on social media. Seeing statuses like 'I wish this cold would do one', or someone who tags themselves at hospital... I'm like, really?
Or people who do this:

Status: Cannot believe this, absolutely FUMING!
Friends: Hey, what's up? Inbox me?x
Status writer: Long story. So annoyed.

If you're gonna hold it back, don't put it out there in the first place...