How many sex scenes in a love story (novel)? ;-)

Discussion in 'Romance' started by Shenanigator, Nov 9, 2017.

  1. KaTrian

    KaTrian A foolish little beast. Contributor

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    I feel the sex scenes need to compliment the story arc / character arc, so they should introduce something new every time. I don't know about the "rules", but it's something I use as a guideline, be it a sex or fight scene as I feel those two types run the risk of getting gratuitous. How many I write depends on the story and the characters. In one story, the to-be couple had one sex scene to which their relationship arc built up. In another story, the to-be couple had two sex scenes, the first one was a drunken fuckaroo that splintered their friendship and the second one solidified them as a couple. In yet another one, the main couple didn't have any sex scenes though they did sleep with other people, one each. So I guess my advice is to go with your gut feeling as well as consider what the scenes add or don't add to the story. The number isn't as important to me as their purpose.
     
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  2. Mckk

    Mckk Member Supporter Contributor

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    I dunno but are you confusing romance novels with erotica? One or two sex scenes in a romance novel, sure, but why do you feel like there needs to be more sex scenes? Romance is really more about the relationship and less about the sex, whereas I think erotica would be the other way around. Especially since you say yours isn't a romance novel, why would you add more than is necessary?

    I say, if it's relevant to the character arc and/or plot, then write it. If not, then skip it. I once put a friend's book down because the sex scene was too long...

    On the other hand, @KaTrian was rather dismayed when she was reading my WIP and I'd skipped my MCs' sex scene :D so I went back and added it. And mine was a fantasy novel. I think she felt it was important to see considering the build-up of the characters' relationship.

    And then there was the time when I was writing my self-pubbed dystopian romance novel and I just really wanted to put a sex scene in there. I'm not even into sex scenes - reading them bores me. But for that one I really really wanted them to have sex. I can't even tell you why lol.
     
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  3. KaTrian

    KaTrian A foolish little beast. Contributor

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    Yup, that was basically it. ;)
    I figured it would've been momentous and important for the characters, so skipping it, well, for me anyway would've left a hole in their character arc. I would've felt it was skipped because a) the author is uncomfortable with sex scenes b) they want to write for a specific market, not because it'd be fluff.
     
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  4. Shenanigator

    Shenanigator Has the Vocabulary of a Well-Educated Sailor. Contributor

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    The part about "you just couldn't convey any other way" is a good point. I will remember that! Thank you.

    The Big Moment sex scene that's in there focuses on thoughts and feelings. Lots of headhopping and humor (it's her first time and she's a klutz, he's been around a lot and is feeling the pressure to be perfect).

    Check, check, and check! Thank you. LOL

    Noted! Thank you.

    Thank you, @OJB, I think you just saved an important, non-sex scene I've been having a hell of a time with.

    Thank you. One thing I am fairly certain of is what my readers "look like." Still not sure where the "official" book genre is in relation to them (they're a subset of readers who have trouble finding things that appeal to them within the traditional genres), but I do know who the readers are and their demographic and what they like.

    Thank you. That's what my gut has been telling me, but I thought, "I'm new at this, what does it know?" ;-)

    Nope, definitely not confusing it with erotica. :) I'd never written a sex scene, so to learn how to write The Big Moment scene, I read a lot of them from various sources...good, bad, ugly, graphic, and everything in between. God forbid anyone look at by browsing history.

    There are fewer sex scenes in current romance novels than there were when my friends and I were smeaking my mom's romance novels to try to learn about sex, though. Fine by me, because my characters only have so many hours in a day. ;-)

    Yes, exactly! Sometimes it just needs to be there because it would be true to the characters / plot. I didn't go into it planning to write a sex scene but realized it was momentous and important for the characters to have that Big Moment scene. Prior to, they'd even had conversations and an argument about it, so it not having it would be just weird. But at this point in the plot, I think having additional scenes wouldn't add anything, so after that one, I faded to black.

    Thank you so much, everyone! Great tips!
     
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  5. Mink

    Mink Contributor Contributor

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    I write very few sex scenes, but this is likely from personal feelings. I don't find sex scenes adding anything to a book so why should I write a lot of them (if I write any)? Amount of sex scenes is actually something I look for when gauging whether or not I'm going to read that book.

    My current project features a relationship, but I likely won't write a descriptive sex scene because I think it'll detract from the story.
     
  6. big soft moose

    big soft moose An Admoostrator Admin Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

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    It depends what you are writing - if its sweet romance or a cosy mystery then no sex is necessary - if it's 'romance porn' (as Laurin called hers) or a hard boiled thriller with a subplot relationship then lots of graphic sex is more or less par for the course (obviously there's a spectrum in between)
     
    Last edited: Dec 23, 2017
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  7. Mink

    Mink Contributor Contributor

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    I've never read a thriller with lots of graphic sex. Most I've read don't even have one graphic sex scene even when there's a relationship involved. But I also ask how many sex scenes are in a book before I read them. (If the answer's one or more then chances are I won't read it.)

    Edit: This was before even asking about sex scenes because I used to not be so discriminatory towards sex scenes.
     
    Last edited: Dec 23, 2017
  8. big soft moose

    big soft moose An Admoostrator Admin Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

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    It depends on the type of thriller - if it's got lots of violence and swearing it is out of character for it to be coy about sex ... this is why I said "hard boiled thrillers" rather than the whole genre. Jack Reacher for example usually manages to have a couple of sex scenes whether the plot needs them or not
     
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  9. ChickenFreak

    ChickenFreak Contributor Contributor

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    But are they sex scenes? I mean, are there body parts and specific athletic actions? Or do we just really really know that sex happened?

    I'm not saying that I know the answer, because I don't. Never read them.
     
  10. big soft moose

    big soft moose An Admoostrator Admin Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

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    It depends in the earlier books its not that graphic but once you reach "the affair" where they are having sexas a freight train shakes the house, or "the night school" where the female protag is "hovering with her hands just over the surfaces of the bed rhythmically driving her whole weight down on a single point" its definitely a sex scene
     
  11. matwoolf

    matwoolf Banned Contributor

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    Is she a very large lady? Or, I'm finding it difficult to visualise exactly, is she jumping up and down on his head, then hoovering up his dirty remains? I'd like that, eh, fantastic woman on a spacehopper with a hoover rides into battle, maybe two or three of these 'ladies' on spacehoppers, in nighties? There's similar clips on Xhamster, I'll send you the link for research.
     
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  12. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll It's Coffee O'clock everywhere. Contributor

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    "What happens on MIR, stays on MIR." ;)
     
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  13. Devlin Blake-Novel Coach

    Devlin Blake-Novel Coach New Member

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    Unless you're writing errotica, (ok, even then,) sex should important to the story, not just sprinkled in for decoration. Sex is a very intimate act and EACH time it's mentioned, it needs to move the story forward. Here are ways to do that.

    • a character learns a horrible secret about their new lover.
    • something happens that ruins it, that makes the couple wonder if they belong together
    • the lover betrays them in some way
    • they grow closer, but everything around them falls apart
    • they deepen their relationship but now one character realizes a choice must be made
    • the character you thought was a jerk is a generous lover, making us change our opinion of them
    • It distracts them from what's really going on.

    So ask yourself WHY this sex scene? Why at this part of the story? HOW does it move the story forward or develop character. If it doesn't do one of those, it's not needed. Decorations aren't great in books.
     
  14. Asher_Elric

    Asher_Elric New Member

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    not all Love Stories have to have sex. Other things can be far more intimate and you don't always need sex to show that your characters are in love. but if it's a straight up book about sex, that's different. I say go with your gut on this one.
     
  15. Shenanigator

    Shenanigator Has the Vocabulary of a Well-Educated Sailor. Contributor

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    True, not all love stories have to have sex, but this one most definitely did. Not including the Big Moment scene in this one would have put a halt to the story, because a discovery is made afterward that could not otherwise have happened, as well as would have made a number of the characters' previous reactions to the world around them not make any sense.

    Thanks, everyone, for your thoughts, I did go with my gut and the book is now in the home stretch.
     
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  16. newshirt

    newshirt Member

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    My latest love story has zero sex.

    It feels far more challenging to construct plots and scenes of human desire, without the actual act. It's definitely more work, but I'm hoping that work pays off in reader satisfaction. Plus, I doubt I could write a scene as intense as the imagination supplies.
     
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  17. Michele I

    Michele I Member

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    There is no right answer, though sometimes less is more. One good, sex scene can be just the right amount. Unless you're writing Fifty Shades, in which case, there are several, but each one brought something new and different to the plate.
     
  18. inkslinger

    inkslinger Active Member

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    I’m a frequent romance reader. I will tell you when I read a contemporary romance I expect a) well-developed, interesting interactions and dynamics 2) sexual tension/chemistry 3) payoff. What “payoff” means depends on the story, but almost always the payoff is the couple finally getting together, and yep, being intimate. As far as how many sex scenes are needed, for most romances I’d say one or two should suffice unless absolutely necessary. Regardless, the sex scene should always push the plot forward somehow as well as develop the characters. This should be obvious to me as a reader. I shouldn’t have to scratch my head and wonder why you randomly threw in the characters having s romp.

    I’ve read many romance novels that pull off its primary relationship with skill, culminating in amazing payoff. Those are the kind of get together/sex scenes you read and reread. Then I’ve read other novels with either flat relationships or an utterly disappointing pay off. You don’t want to be the latter, especially if the big love scene the reader has been waiting for is clumsily handled and anticlimactic. If I’m honest, I feel like many who read adult romance do expect at least one well-written love scene by the end.

    Just my $0.02.
     
  19. jannert

    jannert Retired Mod Supporter Contributor

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    One thing to keep in mind, though. Oftentimes less is more. In terms of number of sex scenes. I strongly envisioned the ones in mine (the love affair between my two main characters is important to the story, although it's not a Romance ...the story is about a different sort of conflict altogether.)

    While my beta readers, in general, liked the scenes, several of the readers said there were too many. The scenes began to feel like interruptions rather than culminations of action or character / plot development. Instead, they were 'interludes.' These were not prudish readers (although, I did have a couple of 'eeek, just close the door' reactions as well—which I ignored, because these people admitted they hate reading sex scenes in any book.) The helpful critical observations came from people who just thought the sex scenes were too frequent for the weight they played in the story. We get it already, they told me. The way this couple has sex is very important to understanding their relationship.

    These critics were right. I totally cut two of the scenes (including one which I was fond of and many of my readers liked as well, but it didn't really move the plot forward.) A couple of the others I kept got trimmed as well, giving the scene a paragraph or so, rather than a whole page, etc, and I tried to make the reason for its brief inclusion more apparent.

    I think the story is better for my sex scenes being less frequent and less interruptive than they were in my first draft.
     
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  20. Cass Parker

    Cass Parker New Member

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    I think it really depends in the story you are telling. Are the sex scenes important to the plot? In one of my romance books I have no sex scenes, not even the hint of one. My readers have emailed me that they found it to be refreshing.
     
  21. matwoolf

    matwoolf Banned Contributor

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    Good gardening advice/twinned, or and on with, the beach puppy group chase - always works a treat for the seniors' demographic in my opinion - when it comes to filth and the s-word, not sausages. E-mails when written would be another level not encouraged..personally.
     
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