I Need Help (Alcohol Intervention)

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Link the Writer, Nov 18, 2017.

  1. OurJud

    OurJud Contributor Contributor

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    Honestly, I think you're being very dramatic here. Lucky to be alive?? Are you new to drinking? What you describe here is classic symptoms of someone who's drunk themselves into a stupor. People do this all the time, and while I'm not suggesting it's healthy, clever, or advised, I think it's rather ridiculous to claim 'I’m lucky I’m even alive right now'.

    That said, I don't want your blood on my hands, so my advice is to stop drinking. You admit yourself you're not an alcoholic, so you have no excuse not to stop.
     
    Last edited: Nov 18, 2017
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  2. Laurus

    Laurus Disappointed Idealist Contributor

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    The first time you were a prick, I held my tongue. Since you seem determined to continue being a prick, I won't. Link doesn't need your shitty opinions; no one gives a fuck how much you drink; that you only advise him to stop drinking because you don't want his blood on your hands shows how shallow your character is; you claimed to not want to trivialize his experience, then proceeded to thoroughly trivialize it as if you know what he's going through; do us all a favor and take your negative bullshit elsewhere.
     
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  3. Laurin Kelly

    Laurin Kelly Contributor Contributor

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    It's different symptoms, but a friend of mine has an alcohol sensitivity and she gets terrible stomach cramps when she ingests it. Someone once tried to prove that it was all in her head by giving her a Sprite and orange juice with half a shot of vodka in it (so little that she couldn't taste the vodka) and within 20 minutes she was in horrible pain. She's had other gastrointestinal problems all her life including a ruptured gall bladder and serious IBS, and her doctor thinks it's all tied together somehow.

    So yes, get ye to a doctor!
     
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  4. ChickenFreak

    ChickenFreak Contributor Contributor

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    Chiming in to agree with seeing a doctor.

    Is there any chance that you had a whole lot more than four beers, but the four beers are all you remember? Admittedly, even if you had a blackout for the actual drinking, I'm not sure how that happens without you seeing the bar bill on your credit card, the empty bottles in your room, etc., but I find myself wondering.

    In any case, this sounds like a good reason to cut out drinking, completely and entirely, not one sip, until you get this mystery solved. If you find that that you are unable to do that, then that's a discovery that calls for more problem solving.
     
  5. Laurin Kelly

    Laurin Kelly Contributor Contributor

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    Both the depth and breadth of the insensitivity of this comment is staggering.
     
  6. jannert

    jannert Retired Mod Supporter Contributor

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    I'm agreeing with the folks here who think you should go to a doctor. If you're having such extreme reactions to relatively small amounts of alcohol, you could have a hyper sensitivity to it. Which actually might make it a lot easier to quit. If you know something is doing you immediate harm, rather than long-term harm, it's a lot easier to stop.

    You don't really want to spend every weekend in a stupor, and possibly kill yourself inadvertently, do you? If alcoholism is in your family's history, you may well have a sensitivity to it.

    Get yourself physically checked out by a doctor. Don't mess around.
     
  7. Iain Aschendale

    Iain Aschendale Lying, dog-faced pony Marine Supporter Contributor

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    Me five or six or whatever we're up to, four beers should not cause that sort of reaction in an adult who has (I remember you mentioning thinking you had a problem a year or so ago) some experience with alcohol. Stay away from alcohol entirely until you get to a doctor and find out what's going on. An inability to metabolize alcohol is a common thing in some ethnic groups; a Japanese woman I know can get completely looped off a shot of beer. I know that's not your specific genetic background, but the trait could be there regardless of what part of the world your ancestors hail from. Also seconding the question of "Are you sure that's all you had?" I've had (thankfully not recently) evenings in my life where I only remembered the first five or six, and was told later that I'd finished up by drinking water glasses of bourbon...
     
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  8. Link the Writer

    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

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    Ooooh yeah, alcohol runs rampant in my family. One of my great aunts, Bevy, actually drank herself to death.

    ...Oh shit.
     
  9. Stormsong07

    Stormsong07 Contributor Contributor

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    @Link the Writer you're not alone. I also like alcohol too much. My particular vice is wine. I find any excuse to have some after work. I've been slipping downhill recently and drinking during the week; I'm trying to curb it to just the weekends at least.
    I'm sorry I don't have any good advice for you...I just wanted you to know you're not alone. Perhaps we could bolster each other's resolve together? I challenge you, here and now, to go 7 days without drinking. I'll do it too. Start small and work our way up, right?
     
  10. Link the Writer

    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

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    Yeah! Let’s do this!!
     
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  11. BayView

    BayView Huh. Interesting. Contributor

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    If you can get to the doctor within that seven days, this sounds like a great plan. Otherwise... it really needs to be more than seven days for you. "Almost died" from four beers is a dramatically atypical reaction.
     
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  12. Stormsong07

    Stormsong07 Contributor Contributor

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    The end goal for me is to extend it past 7 days. Setting the first milestone at a small number makes it seem less overwhelming, with more chance of success.
     
  13. ShannonH

    ShannonH Senior Member Contest Winner 2023

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    Go to a Doctor. Four beers should not be giving you that reaction.

    And then start to plan something for Friday and Saturday nights so you can avoid drinking yourself into a stupor. If you can avoid it during the week, extend it. I'm not saying it will be easy but if it's a choice between not drinking or drinking to the point where you're lucky to be alive, the choice should hopefully be simple.
     
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  14. DeadMoon

    DeadMoon The light side of the dark side Contributor

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    My problems with alcohol was not so much a desire to drink but what I associated it with. A good Horror movie - Drink, Weekend - Drink, New book to read - Drink, Ect.... A good part of the time I think I didn't even think if I wanted to drink or not. It was more of a response like a rat who got a piece of cheese for ring a bell at the end of a maze. It became more of an involuntary habit in the end.

    Good luck with the 7-day challenge. I would like to write more here but I have to go drive my wife to work... back later.
     
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  15. BayView

    BayView Huh. Interesting. Contributor

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    Yeah, for you, I think it makes sense to start small and build. You're not the one who was so out of it from four beers that his parents (who've had lots of experience with alcohol consumption) thought he was dead.
     
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  16. Link the Writer

    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

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    Yeah, and considering my Aunt Bevy once drank herself to death...do I really want that on my obituary?

    “Here lies John Flukinger
    Born 1989
    Died: 2017 (aged 28)
    An aspiring writer, gamer, and a chap with a promising career was found dead today at his home by his parents. Coroners believe the cause to be alcohol poisoning.”

    I will not allow this to be how my story ends.
     
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  17. ShannonH

    ShannonH Senior Member Contest Winner 2023

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    What a surname!

    Serious topic, I know but I am quite jealous.
     
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  18. Link the Writer

    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

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    I’ll be sure to have the surname on a book, not on an obituary or a gravestone.

    This may sound a tad selfish, but I realized that if I died, then buh-bye Helen Chert, Mishu Jerni, and Amos Garnier; they’d all die with me. And none of their stories have been written!
     
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  19. Iain Aschendale

    Iain Aschendale Lying, dog-faced pony Marine Supporter Contributor

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    Huh, this didn't post... One more try:

    Possible physical problems aside, @Link the Writer, there are a lot of different definitions of alcoholism, and I don't subscribe to all of them, but one that I do agree is indicative of a problem is previous failed attempts to quit drinking. Not everyone who drinks, or even drinks a lot, has a problem, but if you think you have a problem and are unable to quit, you probably do, so in addition to a doctor, you might want to look into ways to stop for good.
     
  20. exweedfarmer

    exweedfarmer Banned Contributor

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    You're right. A sixty year old man who probably spent 30% of that time on his lips would know nothing about the subject.
     
  21. jannert

    jannert Retired Mod Supporter Contributor

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    @Link the Writer - You've already said that when next weekend comes you'll forget all about this and likely slip into doing it again. Rinse and repeat. Recognise that repetition is a problem.

    Self-kiddology and repetition go hand in hand with a battle against alcohol. It's okay if it's a celebration, or if I've had a bad day (or a good day) or if I've not had any for a whole week. I'll put off drinking till (the magic day or time.) It's only the one (or two.) Etc.

    Don't try to do this on your own. First of all—very important!—make a doctor's appointment. You need to see a doctor to discover what you're really up against. And then, if the doctor's diagnosis doesn't scare you enough, join a group of people who are battling the same thing. Give yourself support. You WILL backslide. Every addict does, I imagine. What determines how far or how often you backslide is often down to the support you get.

    You also need the kind of support that will distract you, and provide you with something else to focus on. You love writing? So promise yourself that when the weekend comes, you will write Chapter 14, or wherever your book has stopped. Spend the week thinking about what that chapter will contain. And understand that your writing will suffer and NOT succeed if you are three sheets to the wind when you attempt to write it. You need a clear head to write well. So make that a goal.

    Keep a glass of water, or a coke or a cup of coffee to hand, if you're used to having a beer with you at the computer. It's one of the tricks my husband used to keep himself off alcohol when he first got back from the hospital. He loved having a beer with him while he was on the computer. So he started drinking water out of his beer mug instead. Eventually even that stopped. Now I bring him an espresso coffee midway through the day, and he really looks forward to that. Drinking something else will take care of the habit of picking up something to drink from. You could even put your substitute drink into an empty beer bottle!

    Then give yourself a non-alcoholic treat when you've accomplished your writing goal. Order a pizza, or something else that will make it feel like a mini celebration. Hang out with friends or family who aren't drinking. Take your dog for a walk in a new area, etc. Focus on something besides drink, or giving yourself permission to drink.
     
    Last edited: Nov 20, 2017
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  22. 123456789

    123456789 Contributor Contributor

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  23. Thomas Babel

    Thomas Babel Member

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    If it's a problem for you, then yes, it's a problem. And I understand that feeling of self-loathing. It probably causes you a lot of anxiety.

    I do have a bit of a same reaction to this as some have had, though. I started blacking out every day, and it probably contributed to my diabetes condition. Four beers on the weekend? Try that plus three more. Plus a couple bottles of wine, maybe a couple shots. Nightly, for 7 or 8 years. This isn't to diminish your experience, it's to tell you that your present condition has a LOT of hope in it.

    So um... don't feel bad about yourself. If you're looking to rid yourself of alcohol completely, you're not far off at ALL. And one thing you learn the more you read about it is NOT to berate yourself if you fall off the wagon. Self-loathing is one of the triggers that not only compels you to drink, but keeps you in a loop of drinking. Just take a deep breath, refresh your mind on why you're choosing not to drink, and renew your commitment to yourself.
     
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  24. Link the Writer

    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

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    @jannert - Ah, very good advice. This may be too personal, I was just curious: how did your husband react when he initially found out he couldn’t partake in his favorite joy anymore? How did he cope?

    @Thomas Babel - I had no idea self-loathing and berating was a key factor in keeping you in the loop of drinking too much. How is it possible??
     
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  25. jannert

    jannert Retired Mod Supporter Contributor

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    Well, considering he had just been told he had mouth cancer as a direct result of drinking, his reaction was fairly calm. We were more worried about the outcome of the surgery at the time, which, fortunately, turned out well. Of course when you're in hospital for two solid months (slightly more) you get totally weaned off alcohol. And they admitted him a week early in order to medically dry him out beforehand as well. So by the time he got home (fortunately able to swallow ...carefully ...and eat pureed food) he was totally dry. Of course he knows if he were to start drinking again, not only would the cancer be more likely to return, but he would have to start giving up alcohol all over again.

    My husband was the sort of drinker who started socially, and there is a lot of pressure in Scotland to do this kind of thing. He was not the kind of drinker who drank to 'forget' or anything like that. He drank because he enjoyed the camaradarie, and also because he enjoyed the taste. However, the amount and frequency got him, as well as the fact that drinking in his profession at the time (journalism) was not only common, but expected.

    Now that he's retired and can't really go out any more because of the blocked arteries in his legs (!) caused by years of smoking (which he quit about 17 years ago) the impulse to drink socially has gone. And he's weaned off the physical need for it. However, it took pretty drastic measures to get him there. He knows if he even has one drink it can start the cycle again, and he's smart enough not to do that. He's very thankful that he came out of the event still able to talk and sing, and still able to eat quite a number of foods as well. And he's cancer-free, and was told that it was unlikely to return, provided he didn't take up drinking again.

    There are lots of ways to kill yourself with drinking and smoking.
     

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