The Not Happy Thread

I didn't even know there were people that didn't like garlic.

 

It's not that she dislikes it, it's just this hypertrophied sense of politeness the Japanese have. She's afraid that if she eats food with garlic in it for dinner, brushes her teeth before bed, and brushes her teeth again when she gets up, the customers will still be able to smell it on her.

Perhaps if I quit injecting her toothpaste with garlic puree....

 

Garlic will come out in perspiration, but it would not be too bad unless you eat a ton of it.
Though it is true if you eat a shit ton of carrots you will turn orange.

 

Is that a metric or an imperial shit ton?

Need answer fast.

 

Tell her garlic is good for heart health.

 

I think it a special form of measure that might be the equivalent to a the yield of the hydrogen bomb, but in shit.

 

Nooooooooooo!

There's no way to ask this delicately, but...perhaps the nuts weren't fresh?

I'm still going with humidity issues, though.

 

It's actually something people who have years of them have to consider in their wills. My sis and I have intructions to each other regarding what to do with ours. I love my sister's reaction when I asked what she would want done with them: "Publish them! Publish them ALL!!" She said this with a delightfully maniacal look.

 

Nope, I got it figured out. The recipe says not to use a nonstick pan, but it doesn't say why. I ignored that and somehow got it right the first couple times, but the problem is that nonstick pans don't provide crystallization nuclei for the crystals to start on because they're so smooth and non-sticky. By switching to a regular stainless steel pan, and having a small bowl of sugar that I could toss pinches of into the mix when it got close, I ensured that I had sufficient spots for the crystals to get started and the almond to go suddenly "dry".

 

Ah. I was thinking something was creating steam. Glad you figured it out!

 

Dear Sleep,

What have I done to piss you off so badly? You don't return my calls, texts, nothing. Just tell me what I did so that I don't do it again.

Me

 

Not sure the Japanese have room to talk... If it is anything over there like most Japanese people I've known and been around, you can often smell a lot of the fish they love to eat.

 

@Iain Aschendale

Garlic gives you an aura early mornings, toothpaste or no toothpaste, round these parts it provokes the:

'So, you drank a bottle of vodka last night, [buddy]?'

It is that half-second of fear, you relay back - in your memories,

'No, no, no...meatballs, garlic, spaghetti, and yes, some red wine was consumed before we made love, of course, but only...blegh blegh...

...

It catches [us] professionals off-guard, you see. Man-chef is a delicate rope to tread, one must be sympathetic x

 

How do you know whether an editor is right?

 

It depends. Does the editor's word mean publication or not, and how desperate are you to be published?

 

Isn't there an incentive to put some faith in those you gave large sums of money to?
On the other hand, it could be quite frustrating to pay someone to argue against you.
The middle ground is you can always disagree with anyone, even if you did pay them
to tell you what they think. Chances are you can and will be at odds on what you both
think in matters of what you think should be left untouched in your works, and what
can be reasonably cut/changed. IDK, what does your Editor say?

 

I found a cell phone tonight, in the parking lot of a burger place.
Trying to do the decent thing and get it back to the owner I called the last number in the call log-- Mommy-- and left a message that I had the phone, I hoped that she recognized the number as a family member's and to call me back so we could make arrangements to get the phone back to its owner.

So far nothing. It's a Cricket phone; is there a way they can figure out who owns it and send them an email? Maybe have the phone picked up at the store?

 

Reminds me of when I found a phone at a gas station. Took a day and a half, but we got the phone back
to the owner who left it on the fire extinguisher box. So it may take a while, but they should realize you
just want to get the owner their property back.

 

Look further back in the call log. Call more people.

 

Take it to a busy coffee shop, dial 9-1-1, set it down and leave.

 

If you take it to a Cricket store generally people have accounts set up with their info to pay their bill automatically because they get a discount to do so.... unless that is, it's a drug dealer's or serial killers phone and they used all fake info in order to use it as a burner phone, and mommy didn't answer because she has been passed for about 10 years sitting in a rocking chair in the attic.

But no really I was being serious with the first part.

 

With my luck it's a drug dealing serial killer. If I disappear, you know what happened to me.

 

Just remember to keep 20$ on hand so if they do show up you can at least go out happy.