1. GlitterRain7

    GlitterRain7 Galaxy Girl Contributor

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    Scenes with lots of dialog but little action

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by GlitterRain7, Jan 18, 2018.

    How do you guys do scenes with lots of dialog but little action? Right now, I'm working on a scene with the MC and his girlfriend talking, but they're really not doing anything else. I need this scene because I need the reader to hear what they're talking about. Do you guys have any tips or ways to make sure readers don't get bored with these kinds of scenes?
     
  2. ChickenFreak

    ChickenFreak Contributor Contributor

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    It depends. Is there any other pending issue that you could translate into action, so that the scene sort of has two threads? Maybe they're frantically tidying because the realtor is coming, and at the same time discussing his mother--for example?
     
  3. Simon Price

    Simon Price Active Member

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    Depends. How interesting is the dialogue on its own? If it's interesting it can carry a scene by itself.
     
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  4. Homer Potvin

    Homer Potvin A tombstone hand and a graveyard mind Staff Supporter Contributor

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    Interesting beats and interior monologue... not much left for word count if there's nothing happening in the background.
     
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  5. Thundair

    Thundair Contributor Contributor

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    If your not in first person maybe you could use "Meanwhile back in jungle..."
    Sometimes you could mix in a little story related fluff in narration.
     
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  6. izzybot

    izzybot (unspecified) Contributor

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    I don't think people are ever really talking without doing anything else - especially in a long conversation. It goes a long way towards making your dialogue seem natural to study how people have real conversations. Rarely do we sit down just to talk - usually it happens over a meal, or while busy with some other task. I'd consider what your character could be doing while they're having this conversation, what it would make sense for them to be doing. Obviously without knowing your set-up I can't give a lot of concrete ideas, but in my WIP - which is basically a road trip - the main characters have important conversations frequently while getting ready to head out for the day and while getting ready to bunk down for the night. They also talk over mealtimes and when stopped for supplies.

    Long expository conversations are also usually something you only find in stories. In real life people will tend to be more to-the-point. I'd consider whether this needs to be a conversation worth noting and filling out with activity, or whether it can be organically shortened down to a more brief exchange.

    Even when people are pointedly doing nothing but talking, they're still altering their expressions, fidgeting, gesturing, pausing to think, sighing, etc. These are the kinds of things you want to be really careful to not overload on, because getting into the absolute minutiae of a conversation just makes it drag, and lingering on micro-expressions that aren't relevant isn't going to help anything. But they're something to take into account, and you can use them to add a bit more meat to a skeletal conversation that's just been he-said-and-then-she-said. You don't want to bog the reader down, but you can make the scene a little more real and lively by thinking about how the characters are behaving and playing off each other physically while they converse - it can help to inform your dialogue choices, too.
     
  7. Dragon Turtle

    Dragon Turtle Deadlier Jerry

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    If possible, change the setting to somewhere more interesting, tense, and/or uncomfortable.
     
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  8. Thundair

    Thundair Contributor Contributor

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    In real life there is small talk, of which you hardly ever see in dialog.
    When I'm in a conversation there are things that interject, like a story to go along with the point I'm making, or a show and tell of something new in my shop. It s never cut and dried.
    I like the old adage of: "Little people talk about each other, average people talk about things, and great people talk about ideas."
    I make sure my dirt bag (antagonist) character talks about others while my MC talks about ideas.
     
    Last edited: Jan 18, 2018
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  9. jannert

    jannert Retired Mod Supporter Contributor

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    Hopefully your characters are not only talking, but what they are talking about is new to the reader, and interesting as well. Just worry about setting the scene properly.

    They could be walking side by side up a mountain path. They could be lying side by side in bed. They could be sitting across from each other in a cafe. Or doing anything, really, that allows conversation. Set that scene and give them things to do within the scene while they are talking.

    We want to see, feel and hear that scene, not just read a script.

    Also keep in mind that a huge wad of unbroken dialogue moves very quickly—often too quickly to sink into the reader's head. So slow it down. Give the reader meaningful dialogue tags and beats and rest points. Don't forget to include ongoing sentences of description, to keep the scene fresh in the reader's mind.

    Let us in on what the POV character is thinking, about what is being said and done.

    If you're in doubt, pick a book or two that you like and check on how those authors handle dialogue scenes.
     
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  10. xanadu

    xanadu Contributor Contributor

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    Also bear in mind that it's really, really easy to over-write dialog. I know I tend to cut out lines and lines of dialog during my edit passes, simply because a lot of it is unimportant padding (or irrelevant small talk) that just takes up space. It might be relevant in a real-life conversation, but in fiction keep in mind that you should only really be showing what the reader needs to know/care about.

    Lots of dialog isn't necessarily a bad thing, but at least for me it's definitely a red flag that there could be a problem.
     
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  11. lonelystar

    lonelystar Active Member

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    Think about -
    - Where are the characters - living room/ cafe/car/ cinema /bar
    - What noise is there? Kettle boiling/ tv / traffic / radio
    - How do they react? Leave room/ turn radio off or up. Why do they do this?
    - How is the room decorated? Does he like the decor/ painting?
    - Have they got something in their hands? Mug, household appliance. How do they hold it? Clutching or squeezing
    - How do they react to what said - laugh/ cry/ smirk/nod?

    Here's an example from my WIP (still over much in progress) -
    "What did he do?"
    How could see explain it to him so he understood?
    She looked around the room, she liked that Kevin hadn't gone down the interior design route. The room had a very homely with books, c.d.s., framed photographs and knicknacls. Anytime Mel had looked in an interior design magazine she felt the rooms were sterile and devoid of life.
    Her eyes were drawn to the painting on the wall opposite her, it was hard not to be drawn towards it due to its size. It depicted stormy waves crashing onto a rocky cliffs, a lighthouse above. Kevin had bought in a shop in a little town north of Boston. He'd paid for it to be shipped back as he'd flown to Boston.
    After a few moments she said. "I met hit...."

    As you can see far more interesting than just -
    "What did he do?"
    "I met him..."
     
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  12. Mckk

    Mckk Member Supporter Contributor

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    Well, you probably have a point of view character right? So how's he/she reacting to the conversation? If the conversation holds no interest or emotional value for the POV character, then that character's probably bored and will be drifting off thinking about something else - possibly when their partner will stop talking and they can get the other into bed? But your character's probably not bored - they're probably engaged. So what's their thoughts and reactions to the conversation?

    If they're not feeling/thinking anything, then they're probably a chair, or maybe a vase.

    :supergrin: I'm sorry... :bigoops:
     
  13. jannert

    jannert Retired Mod Supporter Contributor

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    Yes. Absolutely. People often complain about 'too much description,' or 'too much information,' but they seem to believe you can't really have 'too much dialogue.' Dialogue is fine, but it doesn't replace everything else in a writer's repertoire.

    And yes, it can also be boring as hell to read pages and pages of it, unbroken by anything else. You might as well be reading the script of a play.

    Some people say they pick up a book and if there are pages and pages of 'description' or 'narrative', they put it down. I'm the opposite. If all I see are pages and pages of dialogue, I tend to walk away. For me, anyway, there needs to be a balance.
     
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  14. DITF Ninja

    DITF Ninja Member

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    I have found that in scenes like that the emotional language and symbolism of the environment are equally as important as the dialogue itself. Take this for example; two friends are sitting around a roaring fire in a cold night have a discussion about justice. While just the dialogue itself could get otherwise incredibly indepth (which can turn some people off) or get unbelievably dry. Instead break up certain segments of the dialogue with emotional reading done by the MC of that chapter upon the other or by interaction with the environment that best serves to enhance the words being shared.
    So getting back to the example as they are around the fire the secondary character could ask a deep question about justice and the MC just laughs it off only to realize the seriousness of the question when noticing how intent the secondary character is staring at the fire. Bringing in both the emotional aspect and the environment you have already established a baseline to the reader that some big plot device is about to be given.
     
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  15. Thundair

    Thundair Contributor Contributor

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    Dialog alone doesn't allow the reader to see whats going on inside the mind of the POV.
    That is why I try to breakout of dialog to cover other points, that did not come up in dialog.
    So like jannert said there needs to be a balance.
     
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  16. lonelystar

    lonelystar Active Member

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    What I have found useful when editing or checking a chapter is to put the text into a text-to-voice app which will it back to you, it's amazing how you find holes or bits to add even if you think it's done. This might help see where the boring bits or the bits to expand or put dialogue tags
     
  17. jannert

    jannert Retired Mod Supporter Contributor

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    That's a very very useful suggestion. If you don't like working that way, see if you can get somebody to read it out loud to you. Pay attention not only to how it sounds, but also to where they trip up, or have to start the sentence again. Glitches like that can help pinpoint clumsy writing or awkward punctuation.
     
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  18. John Calligan

    John Calligan Contributor Contributor

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    I just watched both of the Jack Reacher movies with Tom Cruise. The second one made me think of this thread.

    They three main characters have repeated conversations while in coffee shops, riding on airplanes, and buses, about people murdering each other, military secrets, robbery, whatever. There would be a chase or action scene, and then the characters would just stop wherever they had to be and have the conversation about whatever they needed to say.

    At one point, they even hung a lampshade on it and had the characters switch from talking about being on the run for murder to making small talk with their taxi driver. It was kinda funny.
     
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  19. Vrisnem

    Vrisnem Member

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    Think about the pacing of their conversation. If they are arguing then you might want dialogue tags in quick succession of one another. If it's a difficult and awkward conversation then there might be longer stretches of silence between each spoken line. So if you feel that your scene is too dialogue-heavy then identifying the pace of the character's replies can show you where it would feel most organic to add any lengthier sections of description.
     
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  20. Cogito

    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    One approach is to generate interruptions in the conversation. For example, a conversation in a diner can be interrupted by waitpersons, and by the arrival of the meal itself. If well placed, these leave the reader anxious to hear the next part of the conversation. Goodbye, talk fatigue!
     
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  21. Jupie

    Jupie Senior Member

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    So this is like the flip side to a thread I posted recently about having too LITTLE dialogue haha...

    For me it depends on how interesting the dialogue is. It's an important part of the story for sure. I've noticed a lot of YA authors use dialogue a hell of a lot, sometimes to the extent of ignoring all else for pages. Then again, I'm not including the little cues that come with the dialogue, such as the mannerisms or expressions, but mostly it will revolve around the conversation.

    I'm someone who is quite social so I'll regularly meet up with someone to have a conversation and a drink. It's a great way to inject character and personality into the text, so long as it's not contrived or boring. If the conversation isn't really moving the plot along or adding insight into character chances are you don't need it.

    Whenever I write I usually aim for a good balance between dialogue and description. Actually, my current story doesn't go too heavily into describing setting or place, but there's interior monologue and a focus on action or what's happening instead. I already decided I'm no Tolkien so I don't try too hard with world-building or over describing something. Yesterday I had to stop myself because I was describing the sun and it was all a bit flowery so I settled for something a lot more basic instead.

    It's getting to know your own style of writing. We're all different for this reason. But remember that you're writing a novel. Use detail. Dialogue can be the main focus in your scenes but can be complimented with description and narration. You probably do it already anyway.

    Ps, remind me never to write using my smartphone. Nightmare
     
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  22. Simpson17866

    Simpson17866 Contributor Contributor

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    Every scene should be about the characters doing something, even if not in the "action" sense. If the characters are dialoguing, then they need to be trying to accomplish something by dialoguing, and they will be adjusting their dialogue according to whether or not they feel that they are accomplishing their intended purpose.

    Even when they're conveying information to each other that they both already know about – no, especially when they're conveying information to each other that they both already know about – they need to be trying to use that information for something.
     
    Last edited: Jan 23, 2018
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  23. Seven Crowns

    Seven Crowns Moderator Staff Supporter Contributor Contest Winner 2022

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    Dialog is easy to write. (Good dialog isn't.) When we open our mouths it's to speak dialog, not setting or action. So dialog comes naturally to us. Sometimes too naturally when it swamps the story.

    Using dialog-beats pulls in the setting, but that doesn't necessarily make the dialog important. It just gets rid of the empty stage (which is a good thing for other reasons).

    What the characters are saying needs to matter. It would be nice if the dialog beats mattered too, but like I say, it's main purpose is to make the characters feel real. If the characters feel real and the setting is believable, readers will accept the plot. (Hopefully the characters are talking about the plot or a sub-plot.) Your number one goal with dialog is characterization and tension. You should be able to map out the conversation like an EKG, and its tension should climb until you think the MC's going to have a coronary. That's what's going to hold your readers.

    A fever-pitch can only be held so long, so with dialog I'm more of a quick in and quick out writer, which is against natural instinct. You have men of action and men of words. IMO, in a story, men of action are more interesting because they leave the plot in their wake. So I'd say, if you have a massive-dialog scene, be careful not to have characters pondering/ruminating and gazing and the moon. Have them greedy for some prize and ratchet the tension upwards when they do/don't/almost get it. That will hold the readers.
     
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  24. deadrats

    deadrats Contributor Contributor

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    You can let readers know what your characters are talking about in more ways than just dialog. When I pick up a novel the last thing I want is to read a transcript. I'm just not a fan of dialog that goes on for too long.
     
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