That Moment...

Daniel the Emotional Support Duck

 

TMW you realize you've slipped into an alternate universe where Mad Max: Fury Road is the fifth-best movie ever made.

https://www.rottentomatoes.com/top/bestofrt/

 

TMW...you realize Wreybies is back!!
You will have to let us know about all of your adventures/misadventures. Wondered about you and yours a lot over the last several months.

 

You kind of the left out the part where Paddington 2 is a better movie than The Godfather...

 

Well, they got that one right ...

 

... when you notice your join date below your avatar and wonder what the hell you've been doing with your life.

 

TMW You're texting with a friend and realize you're wearing the exact same outfit as your Bitmoji...

 

TMW you and your spouse are watching an episode of Chicago Fire, the one where....

Shit.

Spoiler

...the female medic first sleeps with the cute candidate dude (sorry, shit with names, season one) and wakes up in the morning kinda confused. Looks under the covers, sees she's naked, the other side of the bed is empty. Wraps herself up, heads into the kitchen to find him cooking breakfast.

I promise this is going somewhere.

Then she looks at the table, sees the two empty wineglasses and the bottle, which is-

dum dum DUMMM!

Empty.

And she says something like "Did we kill this whole thing last night?" and you and your spouse look at each other and just burst out laughing.

Not that you two are lushes or anything, neither are Mrs. A and I, but damn, did those two young, healthy, incredibly physically fit adults finish an entire bottle of red wine?!?

SMH

 

TMW you're sitting outside lunch with four lesbians from Pride club, a really attractive blonde girl walks by, and you have this brief moment of "wow I just stared at her way too obviously", since you're surrounded by the opposite sex. But then two of the girls at your table look at her too, and the third member of the group catches them and jokes about it.

It's interesting, because they probably talk about girls as much as my male friends, but it feels much less.. vindictive. A lot of guys my age talk about sex very disrespectfully, or at least without much emotion. Other than lust, of course. I suspect it's their way of looking and feeling less vulnerable, when they aren't just being dickheads. The gay women I've met so far strike me as more open and natural. Perhaps because they've had more female social experience than us, and perhaps because it's easier to empathize with someone from the same gender. You aren't playing on different teams anymore.

 

But a straight guy is playing on the same team as a lesbian woman: Team Gynophile. On the other hand, maybe not, in other sports the whole team benefits when one member scores.

Unless you're credited with the assist on the goal, or if you have mutually interlocking fields of fire so that you could score together on someone with similar goals or...

This is gonna get complicated.

 

That moment when you're no longer sure which one of your main characters is actually the protagonist.

 

Oh, I feel ya. In my novel, I once had a single, first person viewpoint. Now that guy is one about 8 main characters, and I haven't even mentioned him in a couple of years.

 

Haven't we all been there ...

It's even weirder when you realize you and your younger sister are checking out the same women.

 

Been there too, as it happens.

 

TMW you learn that submission formatting frowns on justified paragraphs, despite books clearly being printed as such.

 

Don't submit manuscripts that look like printed books. Use the standard Shunn format, like this. (That's the short story format, but it resembles the novel format. Look around his website for the complete novel format.)

 

So use the MLA format, and submit it like an essay?

 

Well crap... Guess I’ll need to do some reformatting...

 

Huh? Use standard manuscript format with monospaced font. Shunn makes a point of this - editors find it easier to read and spot spelling errors with a monospaced font. So no Times New Roman.

 

But it is double spaced:

Line

Line

Vs.
Line
Line

So I see your point, but it is double spaced in the example you linked, monospaced is much tighter together.

 

Aight, re-formatting done.

Well, it looks odd...but if that's the way it's supposed to be, then so be it.

 

Look up monospaced font. It means equal distance between characters HORIZONTALLY. It has nothing to do with the spacing between lines.

 

Don't worry about it. The publisher will format the final product so it looks like a proper book. Your manuscript does not have to look like the final product.

 

Now I feel like a derp for missing the 'font' part.