Things That Annoy Me, But Shouldn't

People who ask themselves a question, then answer it. Like, "Do I look stupid? Yes. But am I stupid? Yes."

If no one asked you a question, don't answer it.

 

I had one of those big dogs jump my bike once. The owner didn't even apologize.

I know a lot of those dogs are the sweetest dogs around, but you need to be able to keep them under control.

 

We need those dogs. Liberal vegan jogger snowflakes on every corner. #resistance#christian armegeddon

 

I frequently get halfway through asking a question, then remember the answer. What then? Leave it hanging in the air and walk away?

 

I don't ĺike that some of you alter your avatars. @Tenderiser at least tries to be reasonable consistant and @Homer Potvin switched back to his proper avatar. But @izzybot is, to me, not anything like her new avatar.

Love you all!

 

I haven't had this happen to me, but there's a dog-owner related reason why I usually go running around 10pm. Dog walkers have usually done their evening walk by then, so I don't have to deal with this all too common situation:
I'm approaching the dog and the owner from behind. The human is occupying one side of the track, the dog is on the other and the leash is suspended across the track like a fence so my options are down to: 1) yell from afar 'yo, move!' 2) jump the leash 3) walk behind them nonchalantly until you can take a turn 4) buy a bell and ring it the next time like you'd do if you were biking 5) hope they notice you 6) write an angry opinion piece to the local paper.

The problem with 1, 4 and 5 is that the human is wearing earphones 99% of the time, plus alarming people about your approach is basically unacceptable in this culture, I mean, you get a middle finger even if you use the bike bell. 2 is kind of dangerous if the puppy decides to jump back to his owner's side. 3 inconvenience my run. 6 will change nothing and only spark a deluge of opinion pieces telling me to stop running and buy skis.

 

Kick them in the ass and claim it was an accident.

 

Who designs this kitchen stuff anyway?

Who would want bend-y handles on their big plastic serving spoons?

And the shelf paper, not easy to clean stick-on contact paper but this weird woven stuff that you can't wipe off and that has little holes in it for gunk to fall through. Pulling it all out now and it is gross.

 

I agree. Seriously, 凸(+_+)凸 that stuff.

 

Clearly, you should then form yourself into a shameball and cease all communication for the rest of the year!

Just kidding. I wasn't talking about the situation you mention.

 

Going into the kitchen and seeing the microwave sitting with one second on the timer when it hasn't been used in several hours. I literally have no idea why this bugs me so much but I know my wife does it now for kicks.

 

My web browser has helpfully remembered that I visit this thread on this site, so when I type "annoy" into the address bar, it autocompletes the URL for this thread and press enter to come straight here. However, for some reason it's remembered page 31 of the thread in particular. It wouldn't annoy me if it took me to page one of the thread, but the fact that it's remembered such an oddly specific page is annoying.

On the subject of computers, I hate it when people don't know the names of basic computer technology. People who call the computer itself a 'hard drive', the computer's storage 'memory' and a USB flash drive 'a USB'.

"My hard drive is really slow. I think it's out of memory. Should I delete some files?"

Yes. Delete all of your files.

 

I'm sorry, but I found this to be just plain funny

 

You should be, I'm highly offended. Apologizing for something that doesn't need apologizing for while not being obviously Canadian. Tsk. The state of the world these days.

 

Okay, I found this really funny as well. However, I'm not going to apologize for it

 

I hate to say it, but this is me.

Got two dogs I walk every day... with my headphones in.

I try to keep one headphone popped out so I can still hear, and I try to make sure I'm aware of my surroundings. I try to keep an eye out for bicyclists and runners so I can move off the path, but sometimes I miss them. Ya'll are fast.

Usually if I don't see a runner and I'm blocking the path, they just jog around me on the grass.

 

You should only move out of the way for runners. Cyclists have to move out of the way if they see you walking.

 

This is gonna sound terrible, but... critique is annoying me.

I got some critique on another website. I appreciate the help, but their feedback just isn't helpful at all.

I posted a query letter and asked how to improve it. The problem is, I feel like it's sort of become an echo chamber over there. It's like you're expected to write everything using a certain formula, and if you don't follow the formula, you're doing it wrong. One person told me the query letter made them want to read the book... but also I was doing it wrong and needed to start over.

Well no.

Fuck that, I ain't doing it.

There's such a thing as over-editing. This is going to sound stupid, but I feel like... there's so many books out there. You're competing with a lot of different people. Even if your writing has zero mistakes, even if it follows all the rules perfectly, that doesn't make it a good book. That doesn't make it stand out. Voice, humor, connection-- that's what makes this book stand out. And I'd rather stand out and break the rules than "do it right" and get lost in the crowd.

So I guess what I'm saying is, I appreciate the critique... but I'm probably gonna ignore it. I'm gonna do what I do best, which is make dumb jokes and write smut.

 

Dumb jokes and smut is everything you need in life, so I think you'll do fine.

 

The cult of the "perfect" query is a strong one, for sure. I also got an early query critiqued at "another site" and I didn't agree with the critiques and sent out my query as it was, and got a good response (and an agent). So... yeah. The dedication to a too-standard format may be an attempt to control the uncontrollable. There does need to be some voice in the piece, and making someone want to read the book sounds like a pretty damn good endorsement!

 

Alas, there’s snow up to my knees on both sides of the track so I can’t conveniently run around them. And even in the summer stepping off track is like stepping on a minefield... of dog poo!

But I don’t mind running when most people are going to sleep, tbh. It’s nice and peaceful, at least.

 

Error 404: Logic not found.

 

'Professional' youtubers and this trend for speaking in that horribly manufactured tone and style which means that by sound alone you'd be hard pressed to tell one from another. But also the way these people edit their videos, putting several snap cuts in at the precise moment they finish their sentence. This guy even puts snap cuts in mid-way through a sentence

 

I made it eleven seconds, you?

 

Possibly a little longer, but not much.