The Not Happy Thread

Depends on who you're having tea and cookies with, the varieties served, and whether or not seconds are offered.

 

@big soft moose is the real MVP here.

You owe her nothing. “No” is a complete sentence. The more she sense you wavering, the harder she will push.

 

This^^^ @EstherMayRose . This girl is used to getting her way and is just running through all of the various steps she always does to manipulate people into giving them to her. By not giving her her way, you're helping her later in life, because if she doesn't learn now she will have a hard, miserable fall when she's too old to adjust. Stand firm, EM. You can do it!

 

That's exactly what I told her!

 

GOOD.

The correct response to any passive aggression is to just nod.

If she says, “Oh, I’m just being difficult. Ignore me. I’ll just suffer miserably by myself, it’s fine.” Then your response should be: “Yup. I agree.” And then end the conversation.

 

If it wasn't for the fact I have to deal with her for 1.5 hours every day in close quarters.

Partially while driving and partially while we're waiting for the kids to get on the bus. Honestly, she's probably lucky I'm not some sort of militant liberal, lol. I believe in polite conversation...though I can be a bit of a prick during it by purposely using words that sound condescending.

 

Dunno if I'm allowed to do this here, so I'll wrap it in a spoiler. Implied NSFW, if you know what to look for:

Spoiler: Implied NSFW

Although I guess those are cakes.

 

I laughed so hard while watching this video. I thought to myself what about all the British people who try to remedy every problem with tea.

"Come dear, sit down and have a cup of tea".

"Shall I get us a cup of tea?"

 

Well now.

 

We have a debate room for "Trump" How did I miss that? I had better stay away....

 

Just say "NO"

You can tell the headmistress the whole story. Asking you a question like that when you are in the bathroom is low to begin with. Stick up for yourself no one else will.

YOU GO GIRL !!!!
,

 

The Sony Movie channel! For splitting a film in half with a five-minute 'Sony News' bulletin, without linking the two for anyone who's recording them, so that when the mug settles down to watch his film he's only got the first FUCKING HALF!!

Wankers! I've got to wait until Sunday now before it's repeated.

 

I'm in a really shitty situation right now. I know what I need to do. I just can't bring myself to do it for some reason. I want to talk to someone. Someone I can trust to be honest with me and tell me the truth, not just what they think I want to hear. But I know they'll tell me what to do. And as much as I know what I need to do, I can't do it. So they'll just become disappointed in me, and I'll become even more embarrassed and ashamed of myself than I already am.

Yuck.

 

That's not how they do it nowadays.
You're completely knocked out for the procedure and when they're done with you you get something that wakes you up in an instant. A few years ago I had all my teeth pulled in preparation for permanent dentures (the kind that screw into posts that are screwed into your upper and lower jaw and are for all intents and purposes just like natural teeth). Not only did I not experience any grogginess after the procedure, I felt pretty good, considering. Never took so much as a Tylenol afterwards. In fact, even after I had the operation to screw in four posts upper and four posts lower in my jaw I never needed any pain medication at all. I still have the twenty Oxycodone tablets in my medicine cabinet.

 

Silly question: what would be the purpose in talking to someone?
You say you don't want them to tell you what you to do, and that you don't want them to tell you what you want to hear (which I'm guessing would be something like "You don't have to do..." or "It's OK that you..."
So that leaves listening while you try to justify not doing X...
,,,which would be what you want to hear.
Am I missing something?
Hope it all works out OK for you. (Not sarcasm. You sound torn and really unhappy about it.)

 

Complicated.

I guess because what I need to do isn't as easy as it sounds. From the outside, it seems so simple. Just do it. What are you waiting for? What's the problem?

But it's so much more complicated than that. So many factors. So many fears. I guess what I need is someone to confirm that this isn't my fault. To encourage me and give me the strength to do what I know needs to be done. Because it helps.

I had a couple friends who would talk to me, listen, advise. And it helped. For the moment. But the next day, I regressed. Forgot everything they said. Everything I knew. It's like I'm an alcoholic and need a sponsor to remind me not to drink. Someone I can call when I get weak. Someone to run to my rescue when I think about picking up the bottle.

I need an intervention. But interventions require understanding that it's a difficult decision. And patience when I fall back into the trap. Right now, I don't have that. The people I used to talk to have given up on me. Ran out of advice to give, they said. And I don't blame them. I've become tired of dealing with it myself.

I guess I just need to go back to therapy. The problem is I can't see a therapist as often as I'd like to fix this. And I really need this fixed. I'm just weak and can't do it alone.

 

It's true, that's not how they do it. Also, depending on where you go, some places won't even knock you out. I had one of mine removed and they just numbed it with a shot and yanked it out. I never got put to sleep and I drove myself home.

Google dentist anxiety. There's a lot of dentists these days that are sensitive of people's fears and do whatever they can to make them comfortable. As someone with the same fear as you, I promise, there's ways around it and it's not as bad as you fear. Don't overthink it. I know it's hard, but try. Literally think of anything else except that up until your appointment. It'll be over before you know it, and then you'll find yourself saying, "hey, that wasn't so bad."

 

I want my turn on complaining about this. I find it really telling (and predictable) that the same person who would ask you for this sort of favor is the same person who, when you told her you changed your mind, would without hesitation tell you no in return.

Why is it that so many times it's the people that ask for big things that are the same ones who refuse to return the favor?

Of course it gets better. The same people who ask for help but refuse to give help are also the same people who are absolutely shameless in their behavior (telling you your friends say they aren't your friends).

Look, it's up to you @EstherMayRose and every other fair person to be assertive with and stand up against the kind of people that see everyone as an exploitable resource.

 

Well, you were strong enough to post all that, and to help the other person in this thread, so you're stronger than you think. Maybe you can get a sliding scale therapist to fill in, or something. Then you pay what you can.

Hang in there, man.

 

Thanks everyone! I wish I had your courage!

I have been to the housemistress and told her that I did not and will not agree to change, no matter what this girl tells her.

 

I wish I could. That's "unprofessional". -.-