Vanna: I'm going to stay with the Oakwoods, like I did last year. That's Jasmine, her parents, her four brothers, and her eldest brother's fiancée. Naturally, I'm excited. I'll miss seeing Mum for Christmas, but it isn't practical to hike all the way up to Kashmir for three weeks. Magical transportation is restricted by law to exceptional circumstances only, so we have to take the boat, and that's a couple of weeks either way. Ophelia's coming too. Ophelia: Naturally. I'm not expecting too many presents, though. I have no family, although Cook might send something. She brought me up. Jasmine: Don't be silly, we'll all buy you presents, won't we, Vanna? I wonder what I'm going to get. Last year, Mummy and Daddy bought me a brand new paintbox because my report said I had a talent for art! This year should be even more exciting! Vanna: You don't grow up, do you, Jasmine? What are you two doing? Elsie: The usual, I expect. Father's preparing his sermon and Mother's skittering about doing the shopping. Cecilia's coming over so her father can be alone with his precious son. Cecilia: Father's very proud of Cyril, Elsie. That's all it is. Elsie: He's the favourite child and you know it. What are you doing, Your Highness? No doubt you've got a lot to say! Henrietta: Naturally, our celebrations are very different from yours. They start on the sixth of December, St. Nicholas' Day. The children receive their gifts - you still give out gifts, don't you? - and they leave out their shoes for us to put sweets in. There is a parade to re-enact his arrival. The children are also chased around the palace by people dressed up as demons, who hit them gently to punish them for all their petty sins throughout the year. I miss that part. Mama says she will feel very sad when our youngest sister, Georgiana, is too old to participate. Naturally, we have already decorated the palace by this point. They go up on the first. Of course, the servants do most of it, but it is still fun to do our apartments. Then, on the eighth, we burn candles in our windows to welcome Notre Dame. On Christmas Eve, we burn a log in our hearth in the main Receiving Chamber and leave food and drink on the table in case Notre Dame visits. Then, we attend Midnight Mass. Papa makes a speech to all present, and then we return - all the courtiers - to the palace for Le Reveillon, which is a meal similar, I think, to your Christmas lunch. We eat goose and oysters, as well as ham, fruit, Le Buche de Nol, which is a kind of cake, and pat de foie gras. Afterwards, there is Les Treize, thirteen desserts such as nuts or fruit. Christmas Day itself is a day of worship and quiet contemplation, although I admit that is very difficult with so many tired and excited children running around. On New Year's Day, we, the adults, exchange our presents. Our celebrations end with Epiphany. We have another big meal, where the Galette des Rois is served. It is a kind of brioche cake with a bean inside it. One of the very little children hides under the table - we try to give each one a turn every year, but there are always new babies anyway, which means that there are always children who were too young last year - and shouts the name of the person who receives each piece. My nephew Cosimo liked to pinch everyone's legs as he shouted their name! He was swiftly replaced, much to his chagrin! The person with the bean in their piece is made King or Queen for the day, with a little paper crown and everything! Jasmine: What sorts of things do you put on your tree? Henrietta: Tree? Why would we have a tree? Jasmine: We all have trees. We put baubles on them, and an angel on the top. Vanna: Yeah, OK, Jasmine, let's give everyone else the chance to speak. What was your favourite present last year, everyone? And Mr. Hellant, how do you celebrate Midwinter?
Sapphire: Last year, Dad got me a beautiful new dress. It was expensive, though…*shakes head as if clearing her mind* But it didn't hurt our finances; we had lots of business for the holidays, anyhow. Kathryn: Well… *she blushes slightly* Sapphire: I know your family's loaded, and I know I'm a florist's daughter. Go on, tell everyone about your fancy gifts. Kathryn: Alright. Well, the servants tended to bring us gifts. Last year, one of them gave me these lovely earrings. *she pushes back her hair, revealing amethyst studs* Another one gave me a little trinket of a mother penguin and her baby. It's still in my room back home. Jade: Books. So many books. And a Barnes & Noble gift card. Cara: Brand new watercolors--32 shades! Isabel: You're welcome. Anyways, I got a Steam gift card. I used it well. What about everyone else?
Hellant: I used to take part in the Winter Festival. My parents would travel down to the nearby town and eat with the people there. I'd have to sneak down on account of- never mind. I don't as much anymore, I am too busy. I feel sad about it, but my position requires my constant attention. This is the first real break I've gotten for near a half century. As for presents, it was customary to give a present to the person you were married to, but that doesn't apply to me, at least not anymore. But no need to stir up things from the past. You all seem very festive and your celebration, though a bit odd, seem very... interesting. You said something about a tree, we do something similar, we don't decorate, we burn it. It is supposed to represent the burning of bad memories, trapped in the sticky sap of a tree. A bit odd, but it grows on you.
Vanna: I say, everyone, Merry Christmas. I hope you're all having a lovely day. What's everybody up to? Normally, I'd be watching Christmas TV with Mum - which never made much sense to us, since we never watched much TV, so it was hard to get invested in the EastEnders Christmas Special or whatever when we had no idea who anyone was or what was going on - but this year I'm playing chess with Ophelia with one of Jasmine's brothers watching us. Ophelia's already beaten him, and the fiancée, so I don't really fancy my chances. Ophelia: I wouldn't give up just yet - that was my last pawn you just took. Merry Christmas, everyone. Elsie: You sound like you're having fun. Father's reading from the Bible. I'm looking forward to being able to wander down to the kitchen and steal the remainders of Christmas lunch. Cecilia: Which was awfully tasty. I hope I can spend next year with the Foxes as well. Elsie: You'll be very welcome. Although Mother will have had her baby by then, and he'll probably be crawling by Christmas. Jasmine: I'm having a splendid day. We're eating Christmas cake and mince pies and swapping stories and Vanna and Ophelia have withdrawn from us. Ophelia: Do be quiet, Jasmine. I'm trying to reclaim my lead from Vanna. Besides, we're probably disturbing Henrietta's quiet worship and contemplation. Henrietta: I wouldn't worry about that. We've all given up on the worship and I'm currently playing hide and seek with the nursery children. Vanna: Well, that's all right. I have to say, Mr. Hellant, burning a tree seems like a lovely metaphor. I hope you're having a lovely day. What's everybody doing? And what's been everybody's favourite present?
Hellant: Bit quiet now isn't it, nothing scarier than a room of intelligent minds with nothing to say. Maybe we should talk about something else. Vanna, if I may ask, I can't recall exactly, who is Henrietta and Ophelia, and the rest of your entourage?
Jasmine: Ooh, entourage! That's fancy! Vanna: Just introduce yourself, Jasmine. Jasmine: Well, my full name is Jasmine Mary Oakwood, and I'm fourteen. I'm Vanna's friend, and I first met her on the train to St. Edith's for our first term. I like art, and people say I talk too much, so I'm going to stop here. Ophelia: Good idea. My name is Ophelia Downes, and, like Vanna, I'm a witch, although I've known all my life. My family were killed in a purge of all the old wizarding families when I was a few months old, so our cook found a job at St. Edith's and obtained permission to keep me, so I've lived here all my life, and attended the school since I was old enough to join the Kindergarten at the age of seven. I'm fourteen now, and I like reading and knitting, and I hate sport. I'm another friend of Vanna's. Bonnie: Well, I'm Bonita McIntyre, and I'm thirteen. I come from Fife, and I've been at St. Edith's for as long as Vanna and Jasmine. I'm on the Second Lacrosse team and I'm terrible at Maths. Cis: I'm Cecilia Mayberry, and I've been at St. Edith's since I was eleven, so that's four years. I've been friends with Vanna since she came, and I'm definitely the most sensible one of the group. I love lacrosse and dancing, and I introduced Vanna to the Drama Soc. Paula: My name's Paula Jennings, and I'm the last of Vanna's gang. I also started at St. Edith's when I was eleven, and I've been friends with Cis ever since then. I'm fifteen now. I'm not so good at lacrosse, but I am very attached to the Drama Soc and I taught Vanna to embroider. Vanna: I didn't pick it up so well. Elsie: My name's Elizabeth Mary Fox, and I'm from a different book than these. I go to Willowdown School, which is a small day school that's just finished its first term. I live in a small village in Devon and my father's the vicar. I have four brothers called Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, and I was a disappointment to my mother. Cecilia: Don't say that! Elsie: It's true, though. I was the school bully, and my only friends are Cecilia and my puppy, Rovina. I didn't name her, she used to belong to the headmistress and she's a bit eccentric. I also like reading. Cecilia: I'm Cecilia Ryan, and I'm Elsie's friend. We're both fourteen. I don't really like talking in front of other people very much, but I'm here to give Elsie some moral support. I live with my father and older brother, Cyril. Henrietta: I am Princess Maria Henrietta of Cavallia. I'm from a different book again, in a different culture. It's 1732, so a lot of things must have changed. My father is the King, although I am the ninth child, so I am unlikely to inherit the throne, nor do I wish to. I live with all my extended family and friends in the Palais d'Or and I am betrothed to a young man called Henri, and as I am already sixteen, we shall surely marry soon. He is very pleasant, and we are great friends. I have been very well educated and enjoy horse-riding, reading, and embroidery. I attempted to keep a diary, but when a guest was murdered, it became much more of a casebook. Elsie: And Jasmine said she talked a lot!
Jade: My God, I just realized how many of you there were. Cara: There's, what, eight of them? And five of us. It's just that we don't talk much. Sapphire: That's a fair point. And--Hellant, right? Well, I'd have to disagree on the statement of intelligent minds. I can't speak for anyone else here, but I was only educated until age eleven, so I'd hardly call myself intelligent. Kathryn: You found yourself alone in a different province with nothing and you managed to get work and a place to sleep. That's got to count for something. Sapphire: I doubt that was what he was referring to, but thanks.
Hellant: Jade, remember, they're from three different worlds, as for you Sapphire, intelligent doesn't mean smart. I'd refer to the village idiot as intelligent, how do I explain this. Hm... You have the ability to reflect on your actions, you can see things from a different point of view, unlike the many creatures we refer to as animals. And as for Kathryn's example, that requires knowledge hard to find in scholarly texts. And Princess Maria Henrietta of something or other. It's a pleasure to meet royalty from a different world, I should give you a more formal introduction, but I won't. Good luck with Henri DeMimsey, wait, ninth child? I feel sorrow for your mother. A guest being murdered, sounds interesting, I might take a look into it. Probably not, very small chance. Try using a vision spe- ah, wait, never mind, forgot about that part of it. Well, I must bid you all a fond farewell, I must leave. A very angry dragon just contacted me asking for my head. *Arin, staggering off, ends up tripping and falling through a hole in the floor that closes after him.* (Notes from the author: It's been nice, but it's become tedious. Good luck to each your own. Have fun.)
Isabel: …well, looks like nobody else is gonna talk. Guess we will, then. Sapphire: *she's idly manipulating water* About what? We aren't particularly interesting, are we? Jade: No, not really. We'll have to think of something interesting to talk about. Cara: I've got nothing. Kathryn: Is there anyone who does have something to talk about?
Bee: God, I can't even think where to begin in here. There are more people in this place than in my entire pathetic little town probably.
Arc: Is that an order? Jack: For you, it is. Arc: I'm Arc. May: I'm May! I'm kind of the fun one around here. Sarah: Actually, May, you are the loud one. I'm Sarah Sun, future queen of the Sun Kingdom. Jack: Jack Knight, I'm the leader. May: So, which town are you from, Bee? I might've met you before. Sarah: Probably not, she's from a different book. Arc: How do you know Bee's a girl? Jack: "Bee" is definitely a girl name. Arc: You have no room to talk.
Anton: Do someone around need for investigative services? I charge real cheap, guaranteed results after fifteen days! No, I don´t sell anything about enlarging no kind of stuff, only investigation on anyone else´s dirt! Hey, Bee, just by a modest fee I can get you a full sized report on practically everyone... Koshka: That´s when you´re not sniffing white powder, which is always, cretin... Anton: Shut the f**k up! You don´t even belong here! Koshka: I do. Anton: Why do you always make me see bad in front of strangers, eh? Don´t you have to kill someone around Ukraine or some shit like that?! I only met you once! Koshka:You are funny to watch squirming. Amuse us. Anton: Whatever! I can even make special discounts to star travelers around. If you want to conquer Earth, you probably will need some dossiers, eh? What you say, future Queen? Shall I call you "majesty", or "claimant", or... you tell.
Bee: Yeah, I'm a girl, you're right. And May, I have to admit, the loud one is also usually the fun one, sorry to break it to everyone else. Nestor: Hi. Bee: So yeah, I'm Bee, and this is Nestor. He has a lot of social anxiety, so I'll be doing most of the talking for him too or I guess, translating . . . sometimes he mutters things. We're from a town called Simpel, it's so moronically ironic. And you guys are from, Sun Kingdom? How big is a kingdom exactly, and also exactly what are you the leader of, Jack? I thought Sarah was the queen. Nestor: Is Jack a girl? Bee: Thanks, Anton, but I might have to pass . . . But I am interested, are you and Koshka in a complicated relationship or something? Nestor: Kill someone . . .?
Sarah: Jack is, in fact, a woman. May: Kosha- Arc: Koshka. May: Koshka talks like Harrison... Sarah: The Sun Kingdom is very large and powerful, dominating approximately thirty percent of our world. Jack is the leader of the rebel group comprised of us four. The group was formed by the late prince in an effort to seize power from our father. Arc: Sarah's title is still kind of up in the air... May: Yeah, is she still a princess, or is she a queen? She is the only member of the royal family left, so shouldn't she have the full title? Sarah: You shall refer to me as "Lady Sarah." Jack: Actually, I have to ask. Koshka, are you some sort of bandit, or maybe a mercenary?
Anton: Relationship?! No! I mean... kind of... but it´s not like that. Not even if I liked guys! Who could even like a cold blooded murderer like him, anyway? Koshka: Bodyguard. Anton: Bodyguard my butt! This pussy works as muzzle for his grandfather on Ukraine, and he's not precisely on the "Medecins Sans Frontiers" sort of business... Koshka: I am not a pussy. Anton: Ain' t what Koshka means in Ukrainian, eh? Pussy?! Your name is Lyaksandro! Koshka: Cat. It's different. You have pussy. Anton: Anyway, I sincerely apologize for this rude butcher´s language, not worthy of the ladies here present, specially of the royalty... well, 'Lyaksandro', are you going to answer to Jack, or shall I present you like a baby on kindergarten, eh? Koshka: (..sigh) Bodyguard, nineteen, actually on duty, so I´m not available for hiring. Grandfather' s business is my business. Like pipe tobacco, machine pistols, suits, and John Wick movies. Speak soft. Childhood illness. Anton: What kind of bodyguard walks around carrying a Skorpion machinegun, eh?! Koshka: The one who can afford it. Anton:...f*ck you... Koshka: I would like to know about your skills, Jack. Also how the fight is done on your kingdom. Looks interesting to analyze. Anton: And meanwhile, we could help Bee to feel more at home around! Is Nestor your special one? Maybe I could offer some of my very accurate "Cheater Buster" package of services if some day you are around Big City, into my comfortable offices... Koshka: A guy shotgunned wife and kids there. It' s haunted. Neighborhood like shit. Don' t go. Anton:...(sigh)...
Sarah: Honestly, if vulgarity were enough to upset me then I wouldn't be where I am today. May: *sigh* If only JJ were here, he'd have a ball with you two. Jack: Well, to answer the question, fighting in the Sun Kingdom is generally done within the confines of an arena. The most popular types of fighters are swordsman, hammer users, and hand-to-hand combatants. It's a general rule that anyone who enters the arena is putting their life on the line, so it's quite dangerous. May: It's a bit different in my homeland, where it's basically anything goes. We don't have rules and we don't have rulers, so fighting is a given no matter what you're doing. Arc: Hey, Koshka, wanna go a couple rounds in the arena? Sarah: Arc, we are here to be civil. If you want to fight, you can wait until we return home. Jack: Actually, I'm kind of curious about something. What're "machine pistols" and "machine guns" and "shotguns"? Are they a kind of tool? Sarah: Jack, if everyone were to ask about every little thing that is said, this conversation would never move forward. May: I bet they're a type of drink! Sounds good, too... Arc: May, you're going to turn into a drunk at this rate. May: I will not! Jack, back me up here! Jack: ... He has a point. May: *frustrated noises* Arc: Bee and Nestor, do you two do any fighting? You wanna- Sarah: *Covering Arc's mouth while dragging him away* We are going to have a talk, excuse us.
Vanna: Yes! Life returns anew! I have missed the fun in here! Cis: Well, Vanna's rejuvenated. Since I'm the sensible one here, I suggest you look a couple of posts up from where you all began, where you'll see that we all introduced ourselves. As you can tell from the many references to school, we are all teenagers, and I think Henrietta's the oldest, at sixteen. Henrietta: I believe so too. Lady Sarah, it is a pleasure to meet a fellow royal. *Curtseys* Princess Maria Henrietta of Cavallia at your service. Pray tell us about the Sun Kingdom. It sounds a most fascinating place, and am I to believe that you are not of this world? I have never heard of it, and I do not believe that any country here even comes close to spanning thirty per cent of the globe, although there are still many blank spaces on our map, so who knows? Vanna: Those blank spaces have gone, and I can confirm that the largest country, as of 2014, is Russia, not even close. Jasmine: Do you think those other girls will come back? Ophelia: Who knows? Suppose you all tell us a little about your books?
Sarah: Thank you for having us, Princess Maria. Arc: Wait, we're acknowledging the fourth wall? Jack: In hindsight, we probably should've looked at how the others were conducting themselves... May: At least we don't have to dance around that anymore. Sarah: You three are being rude! Excuse them, they are brutes, every one. Arc: Them's fighting words, Lady. Sarah: True, our story directly contradicts your own on numerous points, but I am not well equipped to answer as to why. Our world does not have proper name, but I would guess that they are most likely completely different. Jack: First off, most of our world seems to be covered in water. There're only two landmasses, on magnitudes larger than the other. The larger one is mostly controlled by the Sun Kingdom, which translates to about thirty percent of the entire world. May: There's a floating city called Magisen, it was separated from the Sun Kingdom in return for instating the current royal family hundreds of years ago. Arc: The smaller landmass is Wild Island. Most of it is too dangerous for people to live in. Only the strong survive their baby days. Jack: May's the exception to that last statement. Arc took her in. May: I'm what you'd call a runt. *wink* Sarah: Forgive us for not asking about your books, but we have already read your initial explanations so it would merely be a formality. I am quite curious about Vanna being a witch. Do you mean witch as in the storybook kind? Is that commonplace in your world?
Alpha: This is an interesting gathering. Beta: It is a gathering of interesting people. Well met, everyone. Alpha: Let us get introductions out of the way. I am king Alpha the thirty-second, protector of Kem-Desret and current chosen of the Gods. Beta: I am Beta the thirty-second, prince of Kem-Desret, first heir to the throne, King Alpha's second-in-command, guardian of the trade routes, hero of- Alpha: Brother, be brief. What if every royal in the thread were listing full names and titles? Brother: Indeed, we'd never see the end of it! May I? Alpha: *nods* Beta: Now, my friends, I've heard we have two detectives around. Anton and Koshka, we need help with an issue of grave importance. But it's rather... delicate. You'd need to be very discreet and very diplomatic. Can you do it?
Arc: Hey, Sarah. Sarah: Stop talking. Arc: Look at their titles. Sarah: You are walking on thin ice. Arc: They have a lot more titles than you. I guess not all royals are created equal, huh? *fighting ensues, Jack kicks them out* May: Hey, do we have any titles? Jack: Well, you're the "Serpent", and I'm the "Dragon." So we have those. You're also the "Wandering Rebel", and I'm the "Juggernaut." *Sarah bursts into the room* Sarah: I am Princess Sarah Sun, the Giant! I am the High Scholar and the- *Arc covers her mouth and drags her away again* Jack: Hey, May, you mind answering by yourself for a while? I gotta go make sure they don't kill each other. May: Yeah, that's cool. *Jack leaves* May: Just me now, cool. Hey, Alpha and Beta, what are your full titles? I'm really curious.
Koshka: Mr.Alpha, Mr. Beta... "Bodyguard"... Tony Montana on dereliction here is "detective"... to Jack, machine pistols, guns and shotguns are... trinkets of joy... makes your day to last, or makes your last day... all depends on which side of them you are, and don't care about rich or poor... they always give joy, at least for one of their ends... where Jack went? Anton: Hehehe, well done, Cicero on bronchitis! As always, you do your best at creeping ladies away... but welcome, welcome around, your majesties, and not-so-majesties too! Hadn't noticed how many distinguished potential customers were around us! I even have an special discount at the first assignment requested by foreign, monochromatic nobility! And of course everyone's nobility titles will be taken on greatest account! *Oh gosh, maybe I'll be able to pay the debt on water services after this event... the prospect of no needing water crackers for being alive anymore...* Koshka: Pay with tuna sandwiches. He'll work for food. Anton: F*ck!!! Shut it!!! Why... do you do this to me?!! Koshka: You know. Nosy one. Anton: Could you at least allow me to close a deal before you screw it up?! Just one little job? Koshka: Jun-kie-won't-get-com-fy. That's Cicero for you. On bronchitis. Anton: ...mtr... fkr... *sigh* Oh, well, your noble ones! Just tell me about your assignment, and you'll get a report after fifteen days, guaranteed! Wanna know who's plotting against you? Or, maybe in the even remotely possibility of an improbable, non-plausible, senseless and completely absurd event that could jeopardize your dynasty, I'm sure you would love to have in handy a detailedly written, hi-quality papyrus-made walkthrough! Hieroglyphic translation fees may apply... but just ask, and let's see what can this detective of twenty springs do for you. Absolute reserve is guaranteed for free! Koshka: Tuna sandwich. Remember. Anton: One word more about my business, and I'll find out who's your real father... I mean it... Koshka: ... Anton: That's what I like to hear from you! But, now that you mention it... there's at least one witch around us, right? Ophelia's your name? Look, maybe you can help me with a little... personal task... is there a way to... how could I put it... "restore" limbs or pieces of... "ectoplasm meat" to a ghost's image? You see... there's this little boy of seven, who haunts my office... and well... I'm kinda sure he wants to tell me something, but his head has... well... I mean... "lacks" would be more proper to tell... a.... little of... brain, maybe? So, I'm kinda sure that he would speak to me a little if he gets it back somehow, but... dunno... I'm kinda fond of the little rascal, always staring at me with his only deer-like eye, and want to help him... Koshka: Absolutely gross... disgusting f*ck... Anton: That's it! I'm getting DNA from Leonid's brats tomorrow at first light! You were warned! Koshka: Don't you dare, piece of shit!!! Anton: What you gonna do, eh? Call the police? Ha...ha...ha... I know to laugh better than you, pal!
Beta: Hmm... our titles. Let's see if we can say this in one breath. Alpha: I'm king Alpha the thirty-second, protector of Kem-Desret, chosen of the Gods, descendant of the Three, Hand of Ommu, First Judge, master of the architects, high priest, Wordmaster, conqueror of the western lands, hero of the Bruhma wars, liberator of Musha, demon of the chariot races and lion of the empire. Beta: I'm Beta the thirty-second, prince of Kem-Desret, first heir to the throne, descendant of the Three, the King’s second-in-command, champion of the royal swordsmen, scourge of the bandits, ender of mogus, Hand of Nellu, guardian of the trade routes, master of coin, High Wolf of the trade alliance and grand mathematician. I'm also called the "blue star of Kem-Desret" and "the resurrected", but these are not official titles. Neither is "lion of the empire", by the way. Alpha: But let’s explain one thing. Where we’re from, all princes are named after letters. These letters show where we are in the line of succession. We can switch “names” anytime, if the council believes that someone has become worthier. So, some titles are bound to the letter, while others are our very own. For example, "grand judge" or "first heir" come with the name, while "Wordmaster" and "Hand of Nellu" are personal achievements. An exception is "descendant of the Three", which comes with being born a prince. How do your titles work? Beta: We have a more pressing matter to ask about. Koshka and Anton, the issue we need help with is a murder case. Not too long ago, I were poisoned and nearly died. Alpha: By your girlfriend. Beta: Who was poisoned in prison before the trial. By who? Alpha: By herself. She had a hidden dose. She gave you the wine, Beta. Beta: Don't tell me Thalina went to the kitchens herself? Someone brought it to her. Alpha: Ah... Do as you wish. I understand that you need to look into this further. Just don't get your hopes too high, brother, you know that all evidence so far is against her. I'd focus on discovering who may have been working with her. Also, don't let these two in the palace unless they make a vow of silence. We don't want them to end up insulting every foreign diplomat in our vicinity. Beta: I'll have someone accompany them, don't worry. It may be too late to find out the truth, but we must try.
May: Ah... Wow... I didn't know your titles would be so long. Now I get why you didn't use them all the first time. How'd you get all of your titles anyway? Mine and Jack's were given to us by the people around us, so I guess it's the same with you two? And Koshka, Jack went to babysit our two friends from earlier; when they fight, they tend to go overboard. Most of their visible injuries come from each other. So, since they're all gone, you're all stuck with me! That's alright though, I am the best one, after all.
Beta: Ah, the titles... Some were given by the people around us, others we achieved through our life's work. They all have their own story, so I'll try to be brief. Alpha: I'm needed in the council for an hour or two. Beta: Of course. I'll start from yours then. All kings are named "protectors of Kem-Desret", as this is their duty. Also, they are the supreme judges, for obvious reasons, so they all are"first judges". They only cannot judge the names of the princes. The crowning traditions demand that a throne candidate must go through a dangerous trial, in order to prove that Gods accept of their reign. So, they are "chosen by the Gods". As I've mentioned before, all princes are "descendants of the Three". The "Three" are our eldest gods: the only survivors from the first generation of the pantheon. When humanity was created, the Three descended among us to help us with our beginning. The first kings were their descendants, and we are theirs. Therefore, we have the blood of gods - though in a very small amount, after all these millennia. Speaking of Gods, if someone reaches a high level of achievement in an area protected by a deity, the priests can name them Hand of the God. Ommu is the god of knowledge. My brother is particularly intelligent, I'd say he is a genius with a rare understanding of both science and words. But that's not all. He has also helped our education system remain strong mid - war, has funded the scientific research - thus pushing forward our understanding of the world, he has invented a system of quick information for our vast lands, and so on. So the priests have named him Hand of Ommu. Architecture is also one of his fascinations, and he sees public constructions as part of his free time. He was named master of the architects before he was even crowned. Our religion has yet another interesting part: in our world, words can have a special kind of power, tied to both Gods and our soul. I won't start analyzing, but ask me later if you want. My big-brain brother has understood early the power of the clergy, and has combined his love of knowledge with studies in the great temple. By the time he was 25 he had become a Wordmaster. With some additional backing-up from his royal bloodline it wasn't hard to become a honorary high priest, too. Another fascination of his is speed. When we are hunting, he is more interested in outspeeding the prey than killing it, I swear! He hasn't run in any races since his crowning, but "demon of the chariot races" has stuck. He was impressive, even the few times he didn't win. It wasn't an official title, but he liked it too much to let it pass. The rest of his titles are from the wars. We all have one or two. He became "hero of the Bruhma wars" and "lion of the empire" when father was still king - though most of his story was good strategy, rather than bravery. I were too young for the army back then. As a king he became "conqueror of the western lands" and "liberator of Musha". My titles now: I'm the King’s second-in-command, mostly because we work well together. Brother Gamma is our actual military genius. I'm not even brave, I became a top swordsman in order to avoid danger as much as possible. But somehow that made me champion of the royal swordsmen! My basic talents are on the financial side - which is part of why I'm Beta: coin-whispering is a great power! I'm Hand of Nellu, who is the God of trade, so I am rather good at what I do. I oversee the trade routes, and have organized quite a few clean-ups of bandits, in some of which I've taken part myself. Yes, yes, I'm not brave, but outwitting a few crime lords isn't what I'd call serious risk. So, I were named "scourge of the bandits" and "guardian of the trade routes". And the national trade alliance named me "High Wolf", which technically means I'm paid extra to keep them safe and organized. Of course I ended up managing the palace's finances, too, so becoming master of coin was natural. And by "managing" I mean that I keep track of all the math behind it. There is a reason I became a grand mathematician: I passed the respective tests fair and square, under disguise. Oh, I almost forgot the "ender of mogus" part. These pesky creatures are carnivore shape-shifters. They are quite dangerous, also tricky to recognize, especially in the darkness. When I first started hunting I were attacked by one, which looked like a human woman. This ignited a sort of fascination in me, so I researched them a lot and became quite good at hunting mogus. I also published a guide about how to better recognize them. The attacks are being managed better since then. People sometimes call me "blue star of Kem-Desret". This is (1) because I have blue skin, and (2) the soul jewel on my forehead emits light when I'm exited, for example when I'm giving speeches. So, when I inspire people I shine bright, literally. Next! "The resurrected" is what I've been called after my ordeal with the poison. I fought for days and ended up clinically dead for a short while... then I suddenly started breathing again, only to start recovering. No one could explain it. The doctors spread the story of my miraculous recovery, and the rest is history. Uh... did anyone even read all this? I think I hear some snoring.
