I've been trying to think of a back story for one of the main characters in my sci fi story. She's revealed to be working for the bad guys (a company that wishes to 'perfect' people using genetic and cybernetic enhancement. And a serum that dulls certain emotions like sadness, empathy, guilt, etc.) I'm trying to figure out a back story explaining why she's with them. I planned for her to have been forced into it at a young age by her parents, but then she wouldn't really have a motivation or anything. She just joins them because she's supposed to. And it seems kind of overdone. So I thought of a new one: Her parents died when she was young, and she spent time in an orphanage (where kids made fun of her), and then got sent to a foster family. During that time she only had one friend. Eventually, she got an internship at the company and started working for a young man that she started to look up to. He put her down a lot, telling her that she couldn't do anything right and such, but she was so desperate to keep the job and get his approval that she never quit. He even arranged for her to stay with him after seeing how her foster family neglected her. He has her stay late one night, and the friend I mentioned earlier finds her and says he discovered a bunch of stuff that the company wanted to keep hidden. They're doing illegal things to try and find the A.I they lost, as it would give them the information needed to perform genetic operations on people. Until then, they are experimenting on people to see if they could replicate it. Once he shows her proof, they try to leave. They don't get very far, as a car swerves off the road and crashes into them (it was driven by one of the employees). When she wakes up, they tell her that her friend died of bloodloss and that she would have died as well if it wasn't for them. They explain their goals of perfecting the world and how they can erase people's flaws and keep them from dying so easily. Filled with self-loathing and a desire to make the world better, she agrees to be an experiment. It's just an idea, sorry if it kinda sucks. I'm trying to think of something else. Like I said, I didn't want her to be a child experiment because then she wouldn't have any real motivation or goals or things she cares about. If this idea isn't good, what are some tips on how to create a good back story?
No, it sounds just fine. I've just got two questions about this. First Was the friend's death intentional? If they could save the girl, why couldn't they save the guy? Were his injuries just worse by luck? Second Why would the boss, who constantly puts down the MC, suddenly offer his home when he finds out that the MC has a crappy family? I mean, it sounds kind of out of left field from who appears to be, from how you describe him, a total ass. So, yeah, just those two from me. Other than that, however, it sounds pretty solid. Gotta love a good pessimist with a dash of self-loathing.
I agree with @LastMindToSanity . What you should do is pursue your excellent idea, but focus on what could go 'wrong' with the idea. Last Mind pinpointed one possible plothole that occurred to me when I read your summary ...why does the boss offer the MC a home? When you discover a weakness or flaw in your backstory or main story, your next job is to figure out how to fix it. Don't just handwave it away with some unlikely explanation, or skip over it because you think nobody else will notice and begin to wonder. The backstory for the character Aeryn Sun in Farscape is similar to what you describe. Aeryn's motivation as she grows up is to excel at what she does, and she doesn't question the 'rightness' of her belief system until some time after the main plot of Farscape begins. Part of the plot of Farscape is getting her to start thinking for herself. One way you could go is to start with your character actually believing that the 'bad guys' are right. She might even be good at doing what she does, and is an enthusiastic recruit ...which might be why the boss takes her in. At some point she will start to realise that her outlook is wrong? That's another way this story could go.
I think your backstory is fine as it stands. In my very subjective opinion, being forced to work for the bad guys is a bit too common. I'd like to see a MC, not a villain, who's genuinely convinced they're doing a good thing when it is made clear they're not. I also don't see a problem with the MCs abusive boss offering her to stay with him. Depending on how you planned that character, people that constantly use their position to belittle their employees may not do it out of spite but because it gives them a sense of power. He may want to have her close at hand, making her even more dependent. You have the opportunity to work with some deep emotional and psychological conflicts here so why not, go for it.
I'm in total agreement here. If she is being forced to work for bad guys, against her will, then the story will likely be about how she escapes them (and maybe takes revenge for her treatment.) This can be incredibly predictible and a bit 'been there, done that.' However, if she starts out convinced she's on the right side, then discovers (either quickly or slowly) that she's not, then her whole life will have to change. A lot of what her life was based on will turn out to be either a lie, or just wrong ...something she maybe can't live with now. However, if she used to be a believer, the bad guys will still trust her, to some extent—especially if she was good at whatever role she had in their organisation, or showed lots of promise. So this opens all sorts of doors, plot-wise. She could even end up deciding she prefers to stick with 'bad' because it brings her rewards—even though her conscience bothers her. Or maybe she falls in love (genuinely) with a 'bad' guy, and has to make a choice. "What's Right,'' or "That Guy." I'd say to push your idea out of the pram, and see how it gets on out there in the big bad world. I think you'll have a much more interesting, richer and more unique story if you don't just jump on the most obvious plotline.
Thank you for the feedback, glad to know it's not terrible. LastMindToSanity, to answer your first question, yes, the friend's death was intentional. They let him die to reinforce the idea that normal bodies are too fragile without enhancements, and because he knew too much and couldn't be easily controlled. For the second question, my idea was to have her employer take her in so that she would be more reliant on him, kind of like what Jenissej said. She would have more incentive to work harder and she would be surrounded by his influence more. I've still got to work on some stuff, but I' glad the idea is good.
Why do we work for companies we hate? Generally we don't think of them as evil at first, but the signs start popping up. At first she sees these grandiose claims from this company and their CEO, and as she starts working for them the opposite begins to reveal itself. Creates conflict, the heart of all story telling.
Your backstory is plausible all right, and even more than required. I mean, if she went to work for the company just because she was in love with that guy and let herself be influenced by beautiful stories he told her, I'd believe it already. And eventually she began to get doubts about this and that, but initially rationalized it, not wanting to believe that she's gotten herself involved in something repulsive. And finally she woke up to the truth. That would make perfect sense. The latter part, about his dying and all that – that's optional. If you like it, keep it. If you're not happy with it but think you need it in order to make your story plausible, you don't.
One thing that can help a story is what I call gray morality. It doesn't mean that there isn't any morality in a story, because in mine there very often is. The problem is that different people have different morals, and what one considers evil, another may not. The truth is, what things often boil down to is that both sides think they're right and aren't willing to compromise, thus you end up with a conflict as the two sides clash ideologically and often violently.
