The Not Happy Thread

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Cogito, Nov 20, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll It's Coffee O'clock everywhere. Contributor

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2015
    Messages:
    17,922
    Likes Received:
    27,173
    Location:
    Where cushions are comfy, and straps hold firm.
    I r happy that you found it in working order, sucks that that they damaged it a bit. :)
     
    flawed personality and Lemie like this.
  2. Wreybies

    Wreybies Thrice Retired Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    May 1, 2008
    Messages:
    23,826
    Likes Received:
    20,815
    Location:
    El Tembloroso Caribe
    It's been 5 days since the water pump station that services my bit of the island had a major malfunction and our cistern has dropped to the point where we're back to collecting rainwater and filtering everything again. yay. :bigmeh:
     
  3. big soft moose

    big soft moose An Admoostrator Admin Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2016
    Messages:
    22,569
    Likes Received:
    25,883
    Location:
    East devon/somerset border
    Suck up.
     
    Oscar Leigh and Cave Troll like this.
  4. Shenanigator

    Shenanigator Has the Vocabulary of a Well-Educated Sailor. Contributor

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2017
    Messages:
    4,886
    Likes Received:
    8,763
    Sending you good vibes, and a big hug if you like them @izzybot .

    Oh God I hear you on this. However...

    [Voice of my Southern grandmother] Now, Missy, you are not responsible for their reaction to your illness!

    Write down the website address of a support group for family members, print 'em out on cardstock, and pass 'em out like candy if you have to. You need to focus on getting better, not making them better.

    [Voice of my Southern grandmother] Ya hear?

    :)
     
    flawed personality and izzybot like this.
  5. Iain Aschendale

    Iain Aschendale Lying, dog-faced pony Marine Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2015
    Messages:
    18,851
    Likes Received:
    35,471
    Location:
    Face down in the dirt
    Currently Reading::
    Telemachus Sneezed
    34258768_10217335241040028_4998142292343652352_n.jpg
     
  6. Oscar Leigh

    Oscar Leigh Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2016
    Messages:
    8,496
    Likes Received:
    5,120
    Location:
    Sydney, Australia
    Oddly touching way to describe negative mental baggage.
     
  7. Oscar Leigh

    Oscar Leigh Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2016
    Messages:
    8,496
    Likes Received:
    5,120
    Location:
    Sydney, Australia
    I'm so sorry for Puerto Rico; really troubled place that deserves more help.
     
  8. NobodySpecial

    NobodySpecial Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2015
    Messages:
    2,075
    Likes Received:
    3,423
    One of the wife’s foster kittens is having a crisis morning, she’s like a little six week old zombie kitten: she won’t eat, she can’t walk, she’s cold, her head just kinda lolls around. It’s enough of a challenge she made it this far. Out of the four in her litter only two survived and now this one seems intent on changing that.

    My wife is a Vet (DVM, not USMC), she knows what to do but her clinic is a half hour away and I have to leave for work soon.
     
  9. Iain Aschendale

    Iain Aschendale Lying, dog-faced pony Marine Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2015
    Messages:
    18,851
    Likes Received:
    35,471
    Location:
    Face down in the dirt
    Currently Reading::
    Telemachus Sneezed
    That sucks, I've got a friend who puts herself through that (fostering) regularly, and gets her heart broken regularly.

    Funny you should mention the vet thing though, my parents ended up with one of each.
     
  10. KaTrian

    KaTrian A foolish little beast. Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2013
    Messages:
    6,764
    Likes Received:
    5,393
    Location:
    Funland
    @izzybot I’m sorry to hear about your diagnosis but also relieved by the possibility of receiving treatment after all. Hang in there. I truly hope everything goes well. Cancer fucking sucks. :( Sending you hugs!
     
  11. 8Bit Bob

    8Bit Bob Here ;) Contributor

    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2017
    Messages:
    786
    Likes Received:
    766
    Location:
    Somewhere on this Earth
    [Deleted post per request]
     
    Last edited: Jun 3, 2018
    Shenanigator likes this.
  12. Arcadeus

    Arcadeus Senior Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2016
    Messages:
    335
    Likes Received:
    244
    My wife of almost 3 years cheated on me last night. I let her go to a party on her own because I don't believe in being controlling. Trust and honesty are really important to me. The most important.

    I picked her up and I knew but wanted to be able to trust her. She woke me up 3 hours later and confessed to everything.

    I am numb. I told she had to earn my trust and respect back...
    I am laying here because it was 2 hours ago that she woke me up and told me.

    I don't know what to do. On one hand I love her. On the other... I don't know if I can ever trust her again.

    I'm broken.
     
  13. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll It's Coffee O'clock everywhere. Contributor

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2015
    Messages:
    17,922
    Likes Received:
    27,173
    Location:
    Where cushions are comfy, and straps hold firm.
    I feel ya. You can try and work on keeping things together, and forgive her in time.
    Rebuilding that trust. Or you can move on. It is never an easy thing to deal with
    when somebody you love and trust betrays you. Hope you can make it work out. :)
    Sending Bear Hug.jpg
     
  14. flawed personality

    flawed personality Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2018
    Messages:
    6,235
    Likes Received:
    13,886
    I'm upset that I'm upset. I'd been doing well these last few months just getting on with my life, and not getting swallowed up by the big black dog, and then today...it's out on the prowl. Didn't help that I witnessed a hit and run either (although not a human victim). That just summed up a lot of my feelings at that moment.
     
    Oscar Leigh and Shenanigator like this.
  15. flawed personality

    flawed personality Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2018
    Messages:
    6,235
    Likes Received:
    13,886
    @Arcadeus It's gonna be hard whatever you do next. Trying to rebuild a relationship is difficult, and so is breaking one. I'm sorry. I have no advice other than to just take your time, whatever you decide to do.
     
    Oscar Leigh likes this.
  16. flawed personality

    flawed personality Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2018
    Messages:
    6,235
    Likes Received:
    13,886
    Love this! It's both hurtful and helpful in equal measure, I think.
     
    Oscar Leigh and Shenanigator like this.
  17. Shenanigator

    Shenanigator Has the Vocabulary of a Well-Educated Sailor. Contributor

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2017
    Messages:
    4,886
    Likes Received:
    8,763
    Ditto, @Arcadeus. Maybe a counselor (couples counseling or just you) can help you figure out comes next. I’m sorry you’re going through this.
     
  18. flawed personality

    flawed personality Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2018
    Messages:
    6,235
    Likes Received:
    13,886
    Trying to find an old love online, but it seems to be impossible. Have reached the point recently where I really hate being alone.
     
  19. KaTrian

    KaTrian A foolish little beast. Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2013
    Messages:
    6,764
    Likes Received:
    5,393
    Location:
    Funland
    Oh shit. I'm so sorry to hear this. :(

    I don't have any sage advice, but I guess you'll have to weigh your options: live with someone you love without trust or break yourself away from her and hope to find new love that doesn't betray you. Take your time. See how she handles the situation, if this is truly about a random one-night stand or if it's something more meaningful/with someone she's bound to meet again, the latter of which tends to complicate things.

    Stay strong. It's very painful now, it can even get much worse, but it's not gonna last forever. Either you move on or find a way to repair things with her - either way, you will survive this.
     
  20. Jenissej

    Jenissej Professional Lurker Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2018
    Messages:
    634
    Likes Received:
    1,340
    Location:
    two feet off center
    Today I did working hours as a judge for a local archery competition. Six hours in an open field with not shade whatsoever. I'm burned head to heels. (literally, because I was barefoot the whole day). On the bright side, I could now aspire to a career as caution tape.
    What else? I also managed to, again, clash with a close friend during that competition.
    So I know there's always two sides to a story but I'm having a hard time finding my fault in this, except for not just dismissing the issue.
    All I did was walk over to that friend, who was writing down the results (because he had shade). That's all.
    As soon as I got within two steps from him, he rounded on me, yelling at me to get lost and that I was disrupting his concentration. No prior issues between us.
    I had said nothing, I hadn't touched him, I hadn't leaned in to look at the results. I hadn't even been in his line of sight. Yet my very presence was enough for him to vent on me.
    Well, fuck you Tom, I'm not your bloody punching bag. I don't know how many people have been bothering you the last two minutes (before which you had nothing to do but sit and watch) and it's not my goddamn fault they did, so take it out on them and not me. It's also not my fault you're cranky already because the organiser didn't heed your opinion earlier. You're not entitled to get your way, get the fuck over it. Believe it or not, people can get shit done without your sage advice. Also, if you're being an ass for no reason, I'm gonna tell you, sure as hell.
    But did I get an apology? Nah, of course not. Not even a reply. But guess who's surprised I didn't want to hug him goodbye some hours later, during which we hadn't exchanged a single word.
    So he did what then? Repeat my "leave me alone" back at me in a mock voice and wave his hands like I was being a pouty child. Yeah. Thanks.
    I'm telling the guy his behavior was hurtful and uncalled for and he rolls his eyes and walks away from me. And when I try to confront him about it? Tries to shove me out of the way and snarks at me for being offended and always getting things the wrong way.
    I was barely able to remind myself that hitting him would probably just make things worse.
    This is no one time incident. Things like this happen way too often over very petty issues with us. It's toxic. But I'm beyond the point where I just handwave his bullshit. I realise I'm also at fault for not giving away any ground. He's used to others just glancing it over when he pulls that kind of shit but I'm done with doing that. So things escalate. If he wants to keep me as a friend, he'll have to take me brutally honest.
    On top of this, thanks to the stress and anger that confrontation caused, I spent over an hour caught up in a fit of my self-destructive compulsive disorder when I got home. I'm angry and hurt and I know our squabbles are getting on the nerves of others so that makes me feel even worse for speaking up again. Like I'm the trouble maker. Maybe I am, I can't tell.
    I'm now lying around wrapped in wet blankets and trying to decide whether to stand my ground in this or be the bigger person and forget about it. Either way, our friendship has gotten another crack today.
     
  21. flawed personality

    flawed personality Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2018
    Messages:
    6,235
    Likes Received:
    13,886
    @Jenissej It sounds like that friendship is putting too much strain on you both atm. I'd leave it a while, and see if he comes to you.
     
  22. flawed personality

    flawed personality Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2018
    Messages:
    6,235
    Likes Received:
    13,886
    Have officially reached that point where my feelings are just bubbling over now. Feeling bloody sh**e, despite the lovely weather. Wish I had my dog again, at least then I wasn't alone, and I know he loved me warts and all.
     
    Shenanigator and Cave Troll like this.
  23. mashers

    mashers Contributor Contributor Community Volunteer

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2016
    Messages:
    2,323
    Likes Received:
    3,089
    I won’t recap my situation as I’m sure anyone who is following this thread already knows.

    Anyway, after the breakup of the relationship which netted me a stalker, I reconnected with a friend-with-benefits. We spent this whole weekend together hanging out, playing video games, watching films and doing all the other things that the “benefits” side of the friendship bring.

    Then, this afternoon, he was looking through a dating app we both use. It’s a casual sex thing, like Grindr. A grid of guys’ photos, sorted by their distance from you. Unless you specifically search for a particular location, you won’t see anyone on that grid more than about 12 miles away. And who does my friend get a message from? The stalker ex., who lives over 100 miles away. That means he’s gone onto this app, searched for the city I live in, seen my friend on there, and sent him a message. And if he saw my friend on there, then he saw me on there.

    He has absolutely no reason to be searching on that app in my location other than to see if I’m on there. I don’t think he would know who my friend was, so that’s probably a coincidence. But why he would message someone in my area I have no idea. So now I’m thinking all sorts of paranoid thoughts, like he’s trying to meet someone here so he can get a foothold in my area.

    So I’m confused, and a bit scared. And STILL I fucking miss him :mad:
     
  24. Jenissej

    Jenissej Professional Lurker Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2018
    Messages:
    634
    Likes Received:
    1,340
    Location:
    two feet off center
    @Arcadeus maybe it would help you to get some distance first. I understand the wound's very fresh right now and I can only guess at how much it hurts. It's good that you express your feelings.
    My advice, for what it's worth, is to take some time to let the immediate pain pass. Then have a look at where you two stand with each other. Have your feelings for her changed? Do you feel the relationship is worth the effort? Achieving forgiveness and regaining trust will be hard work from both of you but it isn't impossible, if you find that's what you want. And if you try and find it too hard, remember that you are not bound by that decision. You can walk away any time you feel you have to.
    You've been betrayed but now it's you in charge of your happiness and no one can take that from you.
     
  25. Moon

    Moon Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2017
    Messages:
    3,573
    Likes Received:
    9,339
    Miss Teresa, the old woman who lives on my floor that I've known for going on 13 years hurt herself the other day. She went out shopping for a gallon of milk, didn't eat anything which made her blood sugar drop to 49. Walked outside in the 80 degree heat and fell in front of the supermarket...breaking her arm, badly. Now she needs surgery. :(

    I've always told her if she needs anything, knock on my door an I'll help out, but she said she didn't want to bother me. So, I give her my number and told her, again, if I'm able, I'll go shopping for her whenever needed. Here's hoping the old warhorse will listen.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice