Haha... the watermelon smashing? Not too far from the truth, though I much prefer to hurl six-pans around the kitchen and dump spoiled (or undated food) in the middle of someone's station. I've avoided that so far in the new job, but it's only been a week. And to be clear, I am not a chef. Nor will I ever become a chef or have any desire to become a chef. I'm not even that great a cook. I'm just highly efficient and have my house stocked and set up like a restaurant so I can make a billion things out of a dozen ingredients. Or make ten things with different cook times and get them all onto the plate simultaneously. And I can douche (deep clean) a household kitchen from top to bottom faster than most people can vacuum a rug. What I do is manage chefs. Chefs are entitled crybabies with no interpersonal skills who wouldn't last six seconds without me watching, redirecting, soothing, yelling, bribing, and/or threatening them. I also accomplish complex operational tasks for chefs, such as adding and multiplying numbers, writing labels in legible English, counting successfully to five (and ten if needed), turning off lights (or on when they become lost, usually in dry storage), reading clocks so they know when the restaurant opens, picking up the items they forgot to order (even after I wrote them down and reminded them fifty times), and patiently explaining how you can't sell a fifteen dollar cut of meat for thirty dollars and have money left over for the gas need to cook it. But mainly I would say my job is to remind chefs that nobody cares about their artistic feelings. They just want to have a good meal. ETA: thinking about it more, I would add that my job is to design restaurant systems and procedures so that a well trained chimp can execute the chef's job in an emergency. I try not to rely on people. I try to rely on repeated, teachable systems that anyone with decent brains and experience can handle. Each job in the restaurant should have at least three people capable of performing it. One of my favorite things to tell the staff is that their replacements are already in the building. It sounds dickish written out, but I say it with love.
The standard for "decent brains" drops a little every year. And the less said about work ethics, the better. I blame Millennials. I've got a few entitled snowflakes on my radar already.
Oh, I know you’re not a chef. But that doesn’t stop the people on the Food Network (don’t even get me started), and you’d be far more entertaining...Especially if we had you throw in kitchen management tips and use your usual kitchen vernacular. ETA: Cooking now: Chocolate chunk cookies are in the oven!
I'm making galettes de ble noir (buckwheat flour crepes from Brittany) with ham, cheese and an egg on top. Mine aren't as good as those served in French restaurants though, which I'm trying to fix.
Well, considering I haven't slept in over 50 hours, and I'm pretty broke until Friday, I will be having sleep for dinner tonight.
Not hungry for dinner yet (probably will be leftover tacos), but it's so hot this week I made three kinds of not-for-kids popsicles: strawberry lemonade with Grand Marnier, peaches and cream strawberries with Grand Marnier and cream.
Yep! It would not be boring, that's for sure. ------------------ ETA to avoid the dreaded double post: Tonight I made a black pepper dijon honey mustard chicken stir fry. The black pepper part was a happy accident...I got a little heavy-handed with the peppermill, and the combination of dijon mustard and reducing the sauce intensified the heat. It worked really well, though!
Rice with a couple splashes of Caribbean hot sauce, gonna clean out the sinuses and probably regret eating something so spicy. I don't normally do habenero level hot.
Caprese salad with basil from the herb garden, corn on the cob and barbecued chicken. It's a beautiful day and that sounds like the perfect summer meal to me!
Air. Its the healthiest meal anyone can eat. A little lacking in the nutritional content, but its just the best when you're tired of everything else.
I've eaten too many unsatisfactory fast-food burgers recently. Tonight I'm making my own burgers, using my mom's recipe. They will be great because mom, watching me from the Great Kitchen In The Sky, will make them so.
I had to improvise to make pancakes! Things are pretty bad. ETA: Although, on the plus side, I can now make pancakes for less, with less. I shall call them paupers pancakes!
Try making onion pancakes, only some family still fight against the idea. They taste very good imo, diced onions, and pancake batter cook with lid on and Viola.
I just knew you'd post something like this devious one. Your slowly but surely becoming my favorite villain. Though... You'll have to work hard to top Benjamin Linus.
Pizza delivery, but only a personal sized one, which I cut into two portions, to inflict minimal damage.