(NOTE: My story is written in first-person.) Upon flipping back through what I've written so far in my current story, I've found that almost every chapter (or every other chapter, more accurately) there is something big going on. Either something very important is revealed, the main character gets injured or into a dangerous situation...or both. There is some "down time", a moment to breathe, between these dramatic moments, of course, but I am now worried that my pacing is going a bit too fast, that big things are happening one after the other too quickly. Though, the big thing about the story is that the MC is finding herself in a tense period in her country's history, with a conspiracy going on and killings popping up. I think my biggest problem is that I struggle writing "quiet" scenes, as I've mentioned in a thread some months ago. Dramatic, even dangerous, scenes are much easier to write and make me feel like I'm actually getting headway in the story. All these dramatic bits were going to happen anyway, of course. I wasn't creating them out of desperation, or a fear that my story was too "boring". I do worry, though, that if I put too much "down time" between important events that it would seem to the reader that I am forgetting about the main drama driver of the entire story. I feel I can't step too far away from the big conspiracy plot line for fear that it would become inconsequential and forgotten in the reader's mind. Is there a general rule regarding how many chapters/pages should pass before the next intense/important scene pops up? Is there a rule about what is considered "too fast"? I still have a lot more material to go through in my story, of course, with more plot lines to resolve or start, but...it is a bit of a concern for me right now. What do you think about this? Have you felt this way before? And, if so, what did you end up doing, if you did anything at all in response?
personally then I'd ask if your characters are developing? Are you giving the reader time to get to know them? Another thing is, even downtime scenes should reveal something about either character or plot, or preferably both. Perhaps you need to challenge yourself in how you reveal certain plot points, if perhaps a quieter scene wouldn't actually serve the purpose better. And are you giving the reader enough time to absorb what's happening? Something big happening in every chapter is not necessarily a bad thing - it doesn't sound bad to me at least. But I think how much time you take to relay something and develop it matters. That something big happens in every chapter does not necessarily mean you haven't taken the time to develop plot points properly - it depends on how it's written.
You make good points. I agree, it's how it is done that matters most. I don't know if this means anything, but my story is exclusively written from a first-person perspective, meaning that I don't get to show how other characters react to things unless if the MC sees/hears them react. In that way...I guess my pacing is pretty affected by the POV, the more I think about it. The MC has an important role in the society, so she finds herself on the front lines of things. Much like how a cop drama will of course show the MC dealing with a lot of drama due to their profession. And regarding character development...yeah, again, it's very isolated to what the MC observes, says, and hears. She certainly has been experiencing development, but the development of others is locked to how she interprets it. Hopefully...this additional information helps. I probably should have mentioned in the OP that it's first-person...
The way you say it sounds like you're struggling with writing in first person and how best to make sure things develop as they should and showing everything you need to for the story. Are you sure first person was the right choice? Have you read many books written in first person? Adding another first person POV is also an option, depending on what you wanna do. Is there a purpose to your book being in first person?
I first tried writing the story in third person, got a few chapters in, but it didn't feel "right" for that project. The MC's voice just wasn't coming through; I didn't feel she was compelling enough when described through an omniscient POV. So I switched it to first person and immediately things got more personal about the main character, and it felt "natural" for the story I was trying to tell. I am now 32 chapters in, which would be well over 60k words based on the fact that the first 15 typed chapters are just at 60k. I wouldn't have gotten this far if I didn't feel the POV wasn't appropriate. I really wanted to get into the MC's head, given what she has to endure throughout the story. It's also a challenge for me (as in, I set myself a challenge, to do something I don't practice much, and beating a notoriously difficult video game a few months ago really convinced me that I could go out of my comfort zone with other elements of my life). I guess the thing is that I want the reader to only know as much as the MC knows, to be as much in the dark about what's going on as she is, but that's a conversation for a different topic, I think...
Something that I think we somewhat need to know is who are the people she's travelling/working with? Should the readers care too much about them, or are they more of background compared to our protagonist? Why are they important, if they are? One major question to ask yourself is, are you going for a character-driven story, or a plot-driven story? If your intention was to go for a character-driven story, and you're finding that there are more major plot events than there should be, you could either switch it or change up the story to have less plot-driven content. If you were going for a plot-driven story, then it sounds to me like you're doing fine.
It's a mixture of both. The events of the plot are important, but so are several of the characters around the MC, as well as the MC herself. Additional characters include the MC's friends, her first love interest (which has since ended), her upcoming second love interest, significant members of the temple (other priestesses), and the king, queen, and captain of the city guard. My cast isn't much bigger than that, but they are all described through the MC's interactions with them due to the POV. Several of these characters are directly responsible for/involved in the plot. Others are mostly to give the MC some conflict, or give her people to talk to and support her during the hard times. I'm not sure how helpful that is, though. I don't want to go through a tedious list of all the named characters the MC interacts with, with descriptions of them all, here, especially since that's not the main point of this thread.
I don't think there's any shame in your MC having a quick recap of what has happened - either the previous scene or just the most recent events. This is a useful thing to do without appearing to lose focus from the main plot, but in fact reinforcing it. Not only does it show that your MC is reflective and not unaffected by everything that is happening, but it also gives the reader a chance to reflect as well. And through your MC's thoughts, you can direct the reader's thoughts through her too. This is what you can do in those quieter periods. How is this useful? Take your conspiracy, for example. You mention that there is a large conspiracy at play involving your MC, but how many times in the story does your MC reflect on it. If she is unaware of the conspiracy, then even better. You owe your readers the chance to guess . However, they're not going to get the chance to do that, or have the time to think further on that, if you're dragging them from one action setpiece to the next. Then they feel cheated/underwhelmed by The Big Reveal, when in fact, all the clues were there, but you never actually gave the reader the opportunity to guess/feel like they should have known. - Even in the quieter scenes, there ought to be conflict. What I am suspecting is that the quieter scenes you are writing are dull because you are self-conscious of the fact that you have a lot of action, and so you feel your MC 'needs a break's and so you have them do nothing. This is the wrong way of thinking. Conflict comes in many forms: the guns, fire and explosion type - which it sounds like you have pretty well covered - and the more subtle conflicts between individuals. I'll call them plot conflicts and character conflicts. Plot conflicts are typically loud and explosive and where you get the chance to show off all the duels, chases and setpiece battles and specifically relate to plot advancement. Character conflicts should be present in essentially every other scene. Now I don't mean the obvious stuff like romances or vendettas. One scene might be two characters petitioning a monarch to support their business venture, for example. You don't have to have the king declare their differences be settled by a duel to the death for a scene like that to be interesting. And you develop both of their characters because you can show the manner in which they fight for their proposal - they may be humble and polite, they may be aggressive, scathing, disrespectful of the court, and that is a way to show that's there is actually less you can do for character development when it comes to simple action, so think on that. - Which brings me to the next point to pose the rhetorival question just how necessary those action scenes are? Is it action for the sake of action? It sounds like in your case, there is action for the sake of plot advancement. Which is perfectly reasonable, but if overdone, then it might feel like it's just a whistle-stop tour of MC going from A to B, fighting C, escaping D. How many of those action-heavy scenes might be able to be converted to further character development, is what I wonder.
I've been making it so that every dramatic or actiony scene does have a purpose, shows something either about the MC, the bigger plot, or other characters. I'm not regretting my choice of scenes, I just mostly worry that they are happening too quickly. The MC actually has ideas of what's going on, but the problem is...she can't go and, say, out the captain of the guard, accuse him of some horrible stuff, because he is on good terms with the king. She has information, but she has no way to prove any of it to king. So the biggest issue for the MC is actually figuring out how to bring stuff to light without endangering herself or others. She does feel she is only one small person and doesn't know how to stop the chain of events that are going on behind the scenes. It's a conflict of "Will these powerful people even believe me?" kind of scenario. The quiet scenes, well, I've mentioned this before in other threads, but it's the fact that most of the MC's life as a priestess is rather monotonous. She has had conflicts with others around her, has made mistakes, gotten into trouble, things like that, but when nothing exciting is going on I feel a desire to go "Ok, let's have a time-skip here and get to a point where something is actually happening, even if it is small and only interpersonal-related". But even time-skipping days just feels lame and lazy. I know I don't HAVE to describe every darn day that passes, but on the other hand I feel it's...again, lazy, or something... I feel I'm looking at this the wrong way, and wonder if I'm really just doing okay and am overthinking everything. I don't plan on ever being published, so I'm not concerned about all the stuff that publishers would worry about, but, still...
Two sets of thoughts: First versus third person: Third person and omniscent are not equivalent. That is, omniscient is third person, but not all third person is omniscient. You can absolutely do this in third person. You're describing both first person and third person limited. Now, I'm not saying that third person is the right choice. I am saying that I'm not sure that you're clear on all the possibilities of third person, especially if you're equating it with omniscient. Quiet scenes: Is it possible that some deliberate practice in writing these scenes, even if you don't use the results, would help? I have a lot of quiet scenes, arguably too many. But pretty much every one has some emotional driver behind it. The conversation is partly driven by interpersonal conflict, or there's a temporary truce in that conflict, or a relationship is being cemented, or something. I remember someone's advice: Remember that the reader will go through your story much faster than you write it. You may feel that that quiet five-page dinner scene is pulling everyone away from the plotline, but the reader is going to tear throgh that scene in minutes. And that quiet five-page dinner scene can advance the plot. Can you discuss your struggle with quiet scenes in a little more detail? That is, what you've tried and why you've abandoned it? I'm going to look through my quiet scenes, because now I'm curious, to see what plot "stuff" is embedded in them. Editing to add: Oh--no, you absolutely time-skip. There's nothing lazy about it. In fact, figuring out how to create a graceful time-skip, how to make the reader "feel" the time without having to plod through it, can be hard work.
So, I'm still at that stage where I hesitate to give away my plot, despite understanding that a mere plot isn't going to allow some Googler to steal my novel, so describing what my quiet scenes do is difficult. But: There are a lot of scenes where the two co-protagonists do quiet, civilized, conversational battle about life and death issues--THEIR life and death; deciding what to do about major risks--over very good food. We see where they care about each other, and we see where their other goals override that care and they betray each other. All over plates and forks. There's one where the co-protagonist and a supporting character discuss the other co-protagonist, with nervous-making implications, while appreciating a new whiskey. There's one where the co-protagonist, after a long-anticipated dreadful experience, gets a shoulder to cry on and discussion of an unlikely but comforting possible future. There's one where a co-protagonist, having found a place of safety after a period of danger and pain, tries to settle into the luxuries and comforts of that place--but a story is demanded of her, and she tells a story that ties back to what's on her mind. Looking at your novel, let's imagine a set of facts: I remember that your character lost her friend/romantic partner because they both committed some offense. Let's imagine that they were caught in that offense, but the person in authority decided to let them stew a while. And your character is on kitchen/serving duty (because that sort of task is customary for people in her position, to maintain some humility.) I realize these facts probably aren't true, but maybe they're close enough to the story to give some ideas? So we imagine a scene where she's bringing supper to the Mother Superior, arranging the dishes, pouring the wine or tea, answering questions about the food, being criticized and rushing to do better. ("My dear, this is how the acolytes are folding napkins now? Let me see you try to do a little better. Yes, I do mean now.") All while simultaneously trying to get up the courage to ask what's going to be decided about her friend. And the Mother Superior knows that's exactly what she wants, and so there's some--as in my first un-detailed example--quiet, civilized conversational battle about life and death issues. Mother Superior makes the character talk about obedience, about why she's been disobedient, about her choice to ignore the possible consequences, about her responsibility for her friend's fate--all while the character has to fix a pretty plate and keep the wineglass full and keep her impulses and her temper in check. That's the first quiet scene. And then maybe your character leaves that conversation, emotionally bruised and with no friends to go to, and she goes to sit in the garden, by that little single-flowered red rose that reminds her of her parents' home, the one that the gardener keeps talking about rooting out, and so far she's managed to talk him out of it. The rose that she used to sit near with her friend, too. And she sits in that scent of home and that scent of love, with the sun hot on her back. She just...sits. Maybe she sits for hours. You convey that period of quiet, sad comfort-seeking with just a sentence or two, but with that sentence or two you make the reader feel the time passing, the temporary walling off of fear and guilt. And then the bandits leap out of the shrubs and you're off again.
Oh, I've written third person stories that were limited before. I just don't write first person much because I do like the freedom that third person gives. I like getting into the POVs of many characters. But, I feel that with this story POV-jumping would ruin the drama. I want the reader to be as lost as the MC is, and, as I said, find things out as she does. I'm not regretting using first person for this story; I can't imagine it any other way. Some stories just...work one way or the other. I can't explain it. Each of the quiet scenes I've had up to this point in my story have advanced either plot or character development, or even created world-building, or all three at once. The issue is creating everyday scenes that don't differ from day to day that are somehow interesting, and not running out of things for characters to discuss. Take my life for example: I'm in a steady job, have a comfortable roof over my head, and am not scrambling to afford rent and bills. The weeks fly by because it is rare that something interesting or exciting happens in my life. I may go to a summer festival one weekend, buy something cool at a store, or go see a movie, but other than that it's the same old stuff each day, each week, each month more or less. That's just life. My MC, when she isn't having to deal with her investigation of the conspiracy, or struggling with her own self-doubts about her abilities, is going through her normal training and daily duties as a priestess in the temple. She only gets out of the temple and into the city streets when granted permission by the head of the temple. She snuck out once, but that got her in trouble. So she has to play by the rules. So there becomes a point where even other characters step in and tell me: "Stop! We have to go to boring normal life for a bit, now, because the MC caused some trouble!" I've had the MC discuss things she's learned with her close friend. She's trudged through training. She's visited the royal palace, spoke with the ill queen in secrecy, even dined with the king and queen and learned from the king himself that his faith in their god is wavering. She's had a romantic fling that ended after she and her lover were found out. All of these and more have been what you'd call "quiet" scenes, as they were mostly dialogue driver or involved no form of violence or what-have-you. It's just trying to space things out evenly and get the MC where she needs to go. Hopefully...that makes sense...? I know I didn't answer all of your points. My brain is all over the place right now!
I think that pacing is the single most difficult thing a writer has to learn to do with a story. It is hard to pinpoint, yet vital. If the pacing is too slow, readers can start skipping ahead till something 'happens.' If it's repetitive ...similar thing happens over and over ...that also screws up pacing. And of course, an 'action-based' story can gallop from set piece to set piece, leaving the reader feeling rushed. Do you read a lot of books yourself? (If not, you should be.) If you do read a lot, pick a few stories that you particularly like and re-read them. Pick out the action scenes that are typical of the ones you are writing. Then go through and look carefully at the scenes in between. What is happening in these scenes? What KINDS of conflicts are happening in these scenes? Again, conflict isn't often direct. It can simply be a character experiencing doubt. It can be a character feeling upset, or thwarted or ignored. It can be somebody undermining them, or not understanding them, or creating small problems for them. It can be a character hesitating. Even 'good' things can create conflict. Striving to master a difficult skill is conflict. If a character has something important to do, and somebody distracts them from that purpose—even if the distraction is fun or meaningful—that is a conflict. Some of these small, everyday conflicts can be the catalyst for a 'bigger' scene. If a person is dissatisfied with their home life, for any reason, and decides to leave home in any manner whatsoever, they will be entering another world with potentially more conflicts ahead that they haven't even thought of. Any decision they make can turn out to be either a mistake or something that moves them ahead to another phase of their lives. Not all 'conflict' has to involve shouting and slashing of swords. Or capture and torture. Or loss of life, limb, job, loved ones, etc. Conflict just means something that's not resolved or something that suspends a character between action and inaction. Maybe they take a well-deserved rest, but while they are resting, outside events are moving and will eventually include them again? I think you are quite right to worry about your pacing, and it does sound as if yours might need work. 32 chapters in 60K words seems a bit choppy to me. That's just less than 2000 words per chapter. Lots of chapter or scene breaks can make a story feel as if it's moving a bit too quickly. Maybe look at these chapter lengths and see if there are a few places where you could combine chapters? That might be a simple way to start. Have you had any beta feedback yet? If you're using betas, ask them to pay attention to anything they feel is lacking. Do they want to know more about your character's home life? Or learn more about what your character does in situations that don't appear in the story? Or find out 'why' instead of just 'what?' If they feel they're being dragged along and want to stop and find out more, then that might provide a clue as to how to insert more richness into your tale.
But, again, you can do that with third person. I'm not telling you to do it in third person--maybe this story demands the first person voice. I just keep persisting because your stated reasons for first person are things that are just as doable with third person, so I'm driven to explain that. Maybe you need more inherent conflict there. Maybe she's afraid of something? Maybe she's naturally disobedient so that the obedience required is a strain? Maybe she grew up thinking she was kind of stupid so a teacher has to struggle to get her to actually try? (I'm remembering Buffy and the teacher who told her, "Let's make them eat that permanent record, OK?") Instead of discussing what she's learned with her close friend, maybe she's mastering it and the friend isn't, or vice versa, and there's some academic jealousy there. Maybe she's from a social caste that shouldn't be doing well, and a teacher resents her for it, so there's conflict there. I'm not suggesting that any of these be Big Conflicts, not suggesting that the friend or teacher try to kill her or something. It's just something to keep those quiet scenes a little bit taut--and ideally those small conflicts tie to the bigger plot in some way. Returning to add: It's a struggle to think of moments in my story that have NO conflict at all, even the very quietest ones. Those "conflict-free" moments are usually ones that resolve a conflict, and there may be a little brief basking, but then we're off to at least small conflict again.
I've done all of those types of non-violent conflict that you've mentioned. And it's the first 15 chapters that have reached up to 50-60k words, since those are the only chapters I've gotten to typing so far. The rest are handwritten, so I can only guess that I'm nearing 80k words by Chapter 32. So, there has been a lot going on, and not all of it has been quick. I don't have beta readers. I have my typed chapters so far posted in FictionPress, but no one has really looked and commented. I have maybe 3 people "watching" the story, but no comments at all yet. My story isn't anywhere close to being finished. I haven't been able to read because I'm too exhausted by the time I'm home. I have books I want to read, but not enough time. I can only read for maybe 10 minutes before going to bed before I'm too sleepy to focus. So that means...a book would take forever, if I was to read every night before bed. But instead I want to write, or draw, or play a video game or watch a movie, because that's more satisfying for me at this point in my life.
When I say "things she's learned", I'm referring the things she's learned about the conspiracy. She's also naturally obedient, so her breaking the rules is a big thing. She is afraid of fire, but as of chapter 31 she was forced to face it and try to overcome it. That fear (of both fire and her own ability to rise up to the demands of her special role) has been an ongoing thing throughout the story. I did have another priestess be secretly jealous of the MC's rise to the special rank, and mentally bullied her and whatnot, but now that plot line is over because the MC accidentally hurt her with her untapped gift of producing fire from her hands. Basically, it was an act of self defense and the character died from her injuries. That's what prompted the MC to take on training to gain control of her power, which is where I am now.
I thought that we could only post things for review if we reviewed at least 2 people's works on this site...? I'm...really bad at reviewing other people's writing. I can only tell people whether something was interesting or not, but I don't care about little grammar or spelling mistakes. Not exactly useful.
Lots of people want exactly that kind of review. SPAG reviews--which I admit tend to be what I do--are often regarded as less useful.
I didn't mean 'are you reading right this minute,' but have you read lots of books in your lifetime? I ask because we've had motivated people on this forum who are trying to write fantasy stories, but most of their story experience has come from watching TV and movies or roleplaying games. They struggle to get their written stories to 'feel' right. There is nothing wrong with any of those pursuits I mentioned, by the way, but they are not good preparation for writing a novel. You are writing a novel for readers, not for viewers or interactive participation. Reading is its own thing. I would still suggest taking books that you enjoyed reading (in the past, if not now) and checking out how those authors handled pacing. Either that, or look for how-to writing books and articles that deal with the subject. There isn't going to be any magic wand that will sort this issue for you. You'll need to be able to recognise IF your pacing is off, WHERE your pacing goes wonky, and then learn how to improve the situation. These things will all take time. There is another course of action I would also recommend. Finish your story before worrying too much more about this pacing issue. Once it's all done, you'll have something concrete to work with, and you'll be able to look at the work as a whole. (You'll also feel delighted that you finished the whole book!) Then put it away for a while, till the excitement of having written it wears off a bit. Then go back and start editing with fresh eyes. The pacing gaps might really jump out at you. You will also be in a better position to give your story to betas. Betas aren't there to tear your work to shreds or replace a proofreader or an English teacher. They are there to give you insight into how your story hits your readers. YOU know the world of your story and all about your characters, etc. But a beta will start with nothing. How effective is your writing? Do your readers get your story? Are they excited by it? Do they want to talk about your characters and the dilemmas they face? If the answer is yes, then you're onto a winner, even if there is still a bit of tweaking and rewriting to do. And there will be.
Oh yes, I've read quite a bit back when I was more prolific about it. Read lots of sci-fi and fantasy, especially as a kid. I did finally pick up the Hunger Games book trilogy to dive into at some point, since that is written in first person and, based on what I've seen in the films, deals with long stretches of quiet build-up, character development, and world building, before bringing in the obvious action and violence. So I think that series will be a good YA example to get one writer's example. Also recently bought Artemis, Andy Weir's new sci-fi book, and this also happens to be first person. But there are other books I've read before, such as Wind Haven, co-written by GRR Martin and Lisa Tuttle, that I'd like to re-read for the sake of inspiration. But, the problem is time and motivation. I do admit, my first draft so far (which is handwritten) is more concerned with getting the story written out and the plot figured out. When I hand-write, I become hyper-focused on what I'm currently working on, not concerned with how it fits in the bigger picture (as in, while I'm hand-writing, I rarely analyze the pacing as I'm going along). Those concerns pop up if I happen to flip back through what I've done, and when I go to start typing up hand-written chapters. When I type, I become far more analytical and notice errors, inconsistencies, or even find scenes that need to be cut out entirely and I am able to replace them with new ones. So, yes, so far I am pretty much just trying to get the story written and try to worry about fixing it later. But...I worry waaaaay too much! I'm always doubting how well I've written something, or if the pacing is off, or whatever. I try to remind myself that I can worry about fixing all the warts and flaws later, but worries keep creeping into my mind at the most inopportune times. In that way, I do empathize with my main character. She's quite different from me in so many ways, but at least I can understand how she feels when she starts second-guessing everything.
The good thing about pacing issues is that they can be fixed! So just keep going. I don't think anybody here who has ever finished a story will say they wrote it from start to finish and never made any changes. Even if they never got published, etc. I think that's some of the power of writing. You are in charge. If something doesn't please you, you can change it. At any stage (until it gets published.) So you're right to be concerned about issues like pacing, but don't overworry. Pacing is an issue that won't actually show until you're done anyway. You're not going to know what needs expansion, what needs to be cut or what needs to be condensed or added. So just, as you say, get the story written out. The rest comes later. Good luck! It's wonderful that you have an interest that takes you out of the everyday world and allows you to express yourself and use your imagination. It will be even better if and when other people get to share what you've created as well, but that's another step.
I haven't read everything that's been written on this thread, but my two cents: don't worry about pacing right now. As you said yourself, your story is "nowhere near finished". Nowhere near finished! Really, pacing is not your issue right now. You cannot possibly edit or correct pacing until you have an entire draft, when you know your exact beginning, middle and end and what needs to be said and what needs to be done. Like, an experienced writer can of course have a good, educated idea about the pacing of his novel but really, until you're finished, you have very little to go on. Once your book is done, you'll be able to see better if every scene contributes to the end, if certain details need to be fleshed out, repeated, or otherwise communicated and therefore if additional scenes are needed, or if scenes need to be merged, or deleted, or changed to fit the purpose. Then you can think about pacing when all the relevant info's in the book. Until then, focus on finishing. There's nothing to edit yet.
