I have a nonbinary character in my book named Owen. The main character is Teagan, and at the end of the book, they are dating. Owen's being nonbinary isn't really touched upon at all- that's just how they are. The two narrators- Madeleine and Teagan- both refer to them as them. It's also not really a point that Teagan likes them as well as boys. She is the kind of person who is extremely flirty and outgoing, so it is obvious that she likes boys. She is polysexual (she likes boys and nonbinary people). I was wondering if making Owen nonbinary and Teagan polysexual without really talking about it would be offensive. Is it queerbaiting? I just want it to be casual that they are who they are. I don't want it to seem weird, because it isn't. Thoughts?
It definitely wouldn't be queerbaiting if it's explicit in the text that they are dating -- ie it can't be construed as them being 'just friends'. Personally, I'm a fan of normalizing narratives: stories about queer people that aren't about them being queer and treat it casually. I think you're fine. Some people think it's better to use labels (especially less common ones like nonbinary or polysexual, to increase awareness) in-text, some think it's better to just present characters as they are and let readers draw their own conclusions. That's up to you; there's no 'right' answer. I do a mix of both, personally, depending on each story -- sometimes it makes more sense for these things to be discussed, sometimes it doesn't, and I want to do what serves the story best. So it's just a matter of what makes the most organic sense for your specific case.
I don't really understand why it would be offensive, but I'm not really answering that part of the question. My puzzlement is about how you would avoid talking about Owen, given the pronoun issue. It seems to me that as soon as you have, say: "Where's Owen? I need to give them their car keys back." "They went for pizza." the reader is going to be totally distracted until they get an explanation for the pronoun. I'm not saying that you have to talk about it a lot, but I suspect you need something. Jane blinked. "Is Owen a person or a group?" Paul shook his head. "Owen isn't a he or a she, and doesn't like ze or hir or zir. So they're they." Another blink, then a shrug. "OK." Though maybe I'm deeply confused.
In line with what ChickenFreak said, I think you should probably mention it at least every once in a while, it's just something that would come up in interacting with other people, especially when getting to know people. But I don't think you need to make any great effort about it. You don't need to explain all the details of it, and in fact I don't think that is generally a good idea as it could easily come off as either pushing an agenda or trying too hard. I prefer a more casual approach to this kind of thing. The exception is if it becomes specifically plot relevant, but that's not the same as just being very loud about it in your writing.
I think it might be worth making a distinction between acknowledging it in-universe and in-metatext -- that is, are you explaining it to the reader or are characters explaining it to other characters? In my low fantasy novel, one of the mcs is nb and uses 'them'. Because it's a non-Earth setting, no one ever addresses or questions this, and I leave the reader to assume that nonbinary genders and pronouns are normalized in this world. In a Earth or closer-Earth setting (or a vastly non-Earth one that just doesn't acknowledge nb genders), that wouldn't necessarily fly since characters would be more likely to question it. Of course, you could then use that as a vehicle to explain it to the reader. In my urban fantasy novel (and this diverges from gender stuff but is still Queer Content, so bear with me), the mc is aromantic and while it's not really a plot point*, she has a bonding moment with another character who's asexual, and they talk briefly about those aspects of their respective identities. So this is a case of things being explained to the reader via the characters learning about it, too. I wouldn't be able to justify it in the low fantasy story, because there's no reason for the characters to talk about it. That's kinda what I mean about organic explanation. *(The overall plot is about her coming to terms with herself to some extent, but not specifically with regards to her orientation; that's just a blip on her arc.) I think audience factors into this. Personally, I'm not hugely concerned about confusing or alienating readers who aren't in the loop so to speak re: certain queer identities -- I don't expect my work to have widespread appeal anyway. With something like LAFS (the low fantasy work) I'm not interested in making 'teaching moments' -- I'm interested in making content for people who already have the Queer Identities 201 spreadsheet But that's a call that's up to the individual writer, as well. I'm not opposed to 'teaching moments' in other projects. Ones like LAFS are just a bit more self-indulgent. (edit: I'm just gonna throw this out here -- I'm more than willing to talk about this kind of thing in more detail in PM if requested. I clearly have a lot to say, hahah.)
Maybe I should have a scene soon after the other characters first meet Owen that it's addressed (the other character meet them and refer to them as him. Owen corrects them) Something like- "He shouldn't be here! He should be dead!" Ollie growled. "They," Owen spoke up softly. Ollie tilted her head up to the ceiling. "What?" "I'm not a boy." "Fine." Ollie adjusted, "They should be dead." -and from that point on the other characters just accept it. Would that work?
It will definitely be explicit that they are dating. It starts with them just flirting, which could be construed as being 'just friends' especially because Teagan is very flirty, but just over halfway through the book she asks them on a date and then later they are explicitly a couple.
No, this is not queerbaiting. Queerbaiting is when you pretend characters might be queer but refuse to confirm it. It sounds like you want to use queer characters without making it a huge deal. Which is fine. If it's an explicit, confirmed fact these characters are queer, then it's not queerbaiting. Yes, that sounds A+.
