So, I'm in the middle of writing a spec-fic vampire novel. I say spec-fic because it's not really horror, it's kind of an urban-gothic-fantasy/supernatural thriller mash up. Anyway, I'm struggling with making a couple of my vampires seem 'sexy'. I'm going for the seductive temptress type for one of the characters and I just can't help but make the dialogue sound really corny and cliche. I want to go for the whole gothic seduction sort of vibe, does anybody have any tips?
I suspect that we could be more helpful if you had an example. Though that might lead to needing to use the Review Room.
Welcome to the site! I actually never realized how perfect that would be until just this second A character reacts to a vampire's come-ons as being corny and cliche, characterizing the vampire as being far enough removed from humanity that she can almost replicate seductive language, but not quite. Then, as the character starts reacting more positively to lines that are just as cheesily bad as the vampire's first attempts, eventually the reader starts to realize that the vampire is pulling a supernatural mind-control over the character's eyes to make herself more appealing.
I don't know if this is helpful, but I'll just put it out there. For a vampire I think the point of seduction is to get the victim in a spot were they can easily suck their blood. So it is also like manipulation, getting someone to do what you want. Thinking about it from that angel might help. Also, I've know some very demanding needy women who men flock to, and in return there is some pay off for the guy, but they are mostly treated like crap. I have yet to uncover this art and implement it, but it's out there. So, perhaps thinking about and researching those crazy manipulative relationships might help your character be less cliche.
Honestly don't try so hard. Imagine it as a movie in your head. Let it come to you. I'm writing a series called "they imprint among us" it's not really sexual between them but it has sexual undertones. It's more like dominant/submissive. Like a pet to a master.
The biggest advice I got about writing was about 12 years ago by an author named Adrienne Dines. That advice is to trust your characters. Much like you or I, any character that feels organic has been made who they are by their experiences. Rather than worry if something would win over your audience, have an 'interview' with your character and ask them to talk you through how they do it. Another thing is because they're more or less running around in my head, sometimes I get quips from them when I least expect it. For example, I have a vampire who hates guns with a passion. That came about because his muse told me that they're 'noisy, honourless contraptions'.
Seductive Vampire.; Vampiress. Carmella, Sheridan LeFanu. Reading this might be a good lace to start.
Old-fashioned prose is the shortest way to get your own writing more corny . Reading contemporary romance may be a bit better. Then just give your characters fangs, black cape and white gloves are optional. Seductiveness has remained pretty much the same over centuries. The corny dialogue is only about how natural it sounds (or not). Think of a line. Is that something a person would really say? You're fine with it in dialogue. There's plenty of advice on that on the internet, too. Research is fun!
There are seductive vampires in Laurell K Hamilton's Anita Blake books, and I haven't found them all that corny. Anita keeps things real with her sass, so I can sometimes digest even the corn. You might wanna check them out - it's urban fantasy as well.
Well that is a huge cliche for Vampires. Sure doesn't speak to being outside the proverbial box. The Anita Blake series is kinda like Buffy but with more naughty bits than the show, as far as I can figure based on how she presents the whole thing. A short story based on the canonical universe did add a much more interesting look into the series as it takes on an average random citizens life in said universe. Much more interesting than were-whatever-you-wants, cheesy sleazy vamps, and basically a Human Succubus that hunts Vampires that she feels are not her friends. (Sorry if I spoiled anything on that series, had a friend that was in love with it to the point of obsession, so I kinda know how it all works in the way it is written.) Vampires are like intelligent Zombos with a thirst for blood instead of brains or flesh. However you can make your Vamps as sexually charged as you want, even if it is a common staple in the modern representation. Though it does feel a bit overdone, kinda like Zombies in all their overall walking rotting corpsey goodness. Why not have them feel more like everybody else that someone could relate too, while still being supernatural or extraordinarily different to their human counter parts. Like say that they are seductive in the same way humans are when courting a mate, versus just ultra sexy/seductive to prey. Which comes off more like a con just to get a needed meal, when they don't need prey to feel comfortable with them since they are stronger and faster than said meal. You don't see Zombies expertly dicing up a human and sexually using the pieces with a partner in the process, to add an extra element to the mood. And insects don't mess around when it comes to sexy fun times. They mate, and the male is eaten alive right after. Though it would be an interesting off color story about such creatures who act like people do when it comes to having meaningless wanton sex for fun, but would they then not eat their sexual partners as a result of not actually mating with them? Sorry, Kinda started wandering off into other fictional thoughts that would be less cliche. Unless your Vamps are Aliens with no real connection to humanity outside of sharing basic physical features, why would they care about seducing food? They could just as easily pop into a night club and pick whatever tickles their fancy. Vamps are still human enough, and you don't see people seducing chickens and cows before they slaughter them for consumption. So why is it that a Vampire would want to have even a remote connection to their food source, let alone have sexual relation with it first? Unless you're this guy. Even examining Hannibal Lector, he doesn't have a sexual interest in the people he cooks and eats. He just manipulates them into the position he wants them in, or outright overpowers them with clever traps. Still doesn't use sex as a means to fuel his cannibalism.
The only way of not being in the proverbial box is to check out how vampires are described outside the Dracula myth. Dracula is the one who started the seductive thing. Other traditions have scary, nasty vampires. Of course, that's their "proverbial box" so there's no escaping being inside a box. If your vampires stop having the traits everybody knows they have, they will also stop being vampires, no? If it doesn't quack like a duck or walk like a duck... Because it's in their nature? Vampires are by definition with "no real connection to humanity". That's why it's perfectly okay to stab them with stakes. Interesting choice of example, since Hannibal the Cannibal is very sexualized character, even if you only look at his voice and the smooth way he talks to people. He's very much a vampire type and just as seductive in his manners, and for no particular reason other than it's in his nature (and whatever else the author wanted to put in there).
I need to address this a little. In Stoker's novel Dracula isn't handsome at all. If I recall it's the Bela Lugosi films that started that trend and Anne Rice made it iconic. ETA: in my case, my vampires are drawn to healthy people, so those they turn are in that pool.
I recommend researching some Vampire: The Masquerade. They nail sexy vampire really well, even feeding > https://whitewolf.fandom.com/wiki/Kiss is super sexy. I've never read any of the novels, but the games mechanics just breed sexiness. We literally call is the sexy rpg. There's different angles of sexiness of course though. My character is a flipping saint and uses his looks, kindness, and fame to meet his blood needs as humanely as feasible where as other vampires might be more prowling or manipulative. It all depends. There's no one way for a vampire to be sexy. Anyway, it's my go to series for vampire ideas since it's just a pool of iconic vampire types and tropes. I think the PDFs can often be had on discount fairly affordably.
This. That character is the definition of good writing and portrayal. He just captivates you even with all the crazy and unhinged things he does.