That Moment...

TMW you watch an old tech-horror movie (Pulse, 2006) and it looks like this:

 

TMW... you have a strange dream that you believe puts you in the shoes of Duke Nukem, except I had to stealth the first part of the dream. and for some reason, a tiny, fit in the palm of my hand device turns out to fold out to be a fully functional Ak-47.

Oh, also my favorite part is when I came to a door where the enemy was waiting, started firing at me. then the commander orders a subordinate to jump a gap to get to the door, but he complains that the gap is to wide, but finally does it and falls into the bottomless gap.

Also, hiding behind a chair, with something over my head..... Stealth.

 

The cicadas have been singing in my left ear for quite some time.

 

TMW you open a window, and a live large brown spider falls out! (insert shuddering emoji here)

 

At least it didn't fall in! (Double shudder emoji)

 

I actually like spiders. Well, as long as its not a Black Widow. Also, no bird eating spider, please, thank you.

Spoiler: This is the bird eating spider, so says google images

 

Bird eating spiders are cool. Just don't fuckin' annoy them.

 

Yeah, size isn't everything. I'd rather take my chances with one of those than this little fella.

Spoiler: censored for arachnophobes

 

Do airstrikes annoy them? Asking for Uncle Sam.......

 

Look at that small nope. Its adorable deadliness makes me smile from my comfortable chair over the internet.

 

I'd rather have a Bird-eating Spider than one of these b******s:

 

No they make them even more powerful.

 

Not much seems to get rid of them. However, if pressed, I'm sure Australia could come up with some truly deadly WMDs purely by exploiting the local wildlife.

 

Drop bears with funnel web spider grenades, zats derived from inland taipans and mortars made from box jellyfish ought to do it. You could always piss them off first for maximum effect.

For an encore, send in the marines: blue-ringed octopi armed with gympie-gympie.

 

What a mental image!!

 

TMW you'd like to thank those who censored their spiders!

 

It's the legs that freak me out here, not so much the actual body. Strange.

 

Just make sure to keep Hollywood away from those cages. And Harvey Weinstein

But on a serious note, can we not post this crap here please. We have a thread dedicated to Trump. In fact, we have an entire section dedicated to politics in general

Maybe in the sense of fairness, I should make a thread about Hillary Clinton and alledge pedophelia rings and how acquaintances seem to mysteriously die. Like the guy who died in the plane crash, but had two bullet holes in his head

There's a place and time for everything, and this is not the thread for this

 

That moment when you have to rescue your dad from a spider.

Your exact words while trying to catch said spider consist of "Oh c*ck f*** f*** f*** f*** no GO THE OTHER WAY!!"

 

They already lost a war against their wild emus, so I wouldn't get my hopes up.

 

That was a freak one-off. Now they're really angry and hungry to prove themselves. I say we let them battle it out and the winner gets an all expenses paid trip to the theatre. Theatre of war, that is.