Ridiculous Writing Tips

Discussion in 'General Writing' started by Masked Mole, Apr 3, 2017.

  1. Iain Aschendale

    Iain Aschendale Lying, dog-faced pony Marine Supporter Contributor

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    It depends on what you want to do. If you want to write something that a lot of people are going to enjoy, follow the rules, all the rules, and you might make it. I've been urged to read Jim Butcher's Dresden Files for years, and I'm greatly enjoying the first book, which is formulaic as hell. Found this on Wikipedia:

    If, however, your aim is to have things like "Hugo," "Nebula," or "Man Booker" attached to your name, then you have to start breaking as many rules as possible. Be like St. Cormac and eschew punctuation. Don't name any of your characters. Yuz fonetik speling thru the hole buk. Tell the story in the second person simple present.

    Right now, I'm at war with the "Show, don't tell" thing. I've mentioned elsewhere how I realized that many of the authors whose work I most admire are inveterate "tellers," and I'm finding that just letting myself drop some info there makes the writing a lot easier, and, as I'm sure you know, Dr. Smith, the reading is probably easier too.
     
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  2. srwilson

    srwilson Senior Member

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    Sure, if there is more than one character at the start, then names are advisable. But if not, then it isn't required to hang traits off, but some people still think it is.


    Thanks for the mating caterpillar image!!! I would say you could hang personality from a moustache, but merely describing the moustache still relies on cliche. Your example is just saying, it's bushy or oddly shaped or whatever, but says nothing about him (or her!!) except by cliche. Not that ALL cliches are bad, but maybe not the best way.
     
  3. Azuresun

    Azuresun Senior Member

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    To quote David Bowie, it's not who does it first, it's who does it best. Even if I can kinda guess where a scene is going because I've seen several like it before, executing the trope well can entertain me just fine--and often more so than gratuitous originality that would make less sense in the story.

    And telling is still preferable to leaving your reader confused because they don't have enough information to understand what's happening. Sometimes it's better to cough out some exposition to get over the hump and back to the story as quickly as possible.
     
  4. Darkcula

    Darkcula Member

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    What about children books like "Harry Potter"? I think, the adolescent audience prefers "Tell" over "Show".
     
  5. DeeDee

    DeeDee Contributor Contributor

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    Avoid "was" and the forms of "be". I know what they meant when they came up with this advice, but it's just ridiculous.
     
  6. ChickenFreak

    ChickenFreak Contributor Contributor

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    If you’re not joking here, how is Harry Potter more “tell”?
     
  7. Darkcula

    Darkcula Member

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    "Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say
    that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. They were the last
    people you'd expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious,
    because they just didn't hold with such nonsense.
    Mr. Dursley was the director of a firm called Grunnings, which made
    drills. He was a big, beefy man with hardly any neck, although he did
    have a very large mustache. Mrs. Dursley was thin and blonde and had
    nearly twice the usual amount of neck, which came in very useful as she
    spent so much of her time craning over garden fences, spying on the
    neighbors. The Dursleys had a small son called Dudley and in their
    opinion there was no finer boy anywhere."

    The above extract is taken from the first book in the series. I have found more of "Tell" so far.
     
  8. ChickenFreak

    ChickenFreak Contributor Contributor

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    Well, that's really early in the book. Also, I don't know that I'd say that it's "tell". To me, show/tell is about demonstrate/explain. This demonstrates that the Dursleys are prosaic, unexciting, unattractive people, that Mrs. Dursley has at least one unpleasant character trait, and that they have an unrealistic fondness for their son. It doesn't "tell" that, it "shows" it--it steps one level out from the message that it wants to communicate.
     
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  9. The Dapper Hooligan

    The Dapper Hooligan (V) ( ;,,;) (v) Contributor

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    The Harry Potter Books have tonnes of 'tell' in them. They also have tonnes of 'show.' More importantly they use both 'tell' and 'show', for the most part, where appropriate.
     
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  10. Darkcula

    Darkcula Member

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    From a reader's perspective, I really didn't care if it was 'Show' or 'Tell'. I really enjoyed all the seven books and even the screenplay: "The cursed child". The books are highly entertaining and at no point in time, I had felt boredom of any sort.

    Even though 'Show' style has a clear cut advantage over its counterpart - to keep the readers binded; 'Tell' also has its own significance in terms of pivoting the story wherever required.
     
  11. JLT

    JLT Contributor Contributor

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    This was drifting around the internet a while ago:


    1. Don’t use no double negatives.
    2. Make each pronoun agree with their antecedent.
    3. Join clauses good, like a conjunction should.
    4. About them sentence fragments.
    5. When dangling, watch your participles.
    6. Verbs has to agree with their subject.
    7. Just between you and I, case is important to.
    8. Don’t write run-on sentences they are hard to read.
    9. Don’t use commas, which aren’t necessary.
    10. Try not to oversplit infinitives.
    11. It is important to use your apostrophe’s correctly.
    12. Proofread your writing to if any words out.
    13. Correct spelling is esential.
     
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  12. DeeDee

    DeeDee Contributor Contributor

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    Writing groups in general, because they work as a democracy. If the majority of the members agree that a piece of advice is good, that automatically becomes considered good advice. A newbie comes in and automatically takes the advice as gospel, because, you know, "everybody says it is so", so it must be good advice. Copy pasting adds to the illusion, "oooh, it's all over the internets, it must be trues!" :D
     
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  13. Iain Aschendale

    Iain Aschendale Lying, dog-faced pony Marine Supporter Contributor

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    There's some of that going on around here from time to time. Of course, when people disagree and hold firm....
     
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  14. deadrats

    deadrats Contributor Contributor

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    If you guys don't know how to interpret writing tips or advice, that's another whole issue. Sure, anyone can write anything they want and do it any way they want, but that isn't going to make anyone a better writer or more of a success than those who might actually learn a thing or two from those who give advice. We don't live or learn in a bubble. Most of us here have asked for advice or tips about writing. It's sort of a big part of a writing forum. And being dismissive of so-called writing rules or pieces of well-known advice is more likely going to hurt a writer more than help them. I'm not new, but I am open to learning new stuff all the time. Common sense really goes a long way when it comes to putting writing advice into practice or deciding to go against the grain.
     
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  15. l nimbus

    l nimbus Member

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    Plug into some music. Lots of it.
    Get enough sleep. You won't believe how much this helps.
    Don't be afraid to do something different.
     
  16. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll It's Coffee O'clock everywhere. Contributor

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    Buy these books on how to write books, they will be your best bet for writing a bestseller...(Piss OFF!)
    Make it a habit. (Well on the fence about this one)

    Well I can't think of anymore normal ones so......

    On the full moon every month you take a lighter and a block of cheese (8oz).
    Then you melt the cheese on your exposed breast, then dance for the writing
    gods, in hopes that they are on your side.

    Get some chalk paint, coat a good sized wall. Now for every hour you haven't
    written anything write: I will write my story (5x). May not be what you wanted
    to write, but hey you're writing something and that is what counts, right?

    Get an 18x18 white marble tile, draw a pentagram on it. Place either a red or
    black candle at each point. Light the candles, and ask Satan how the hell you
    should finish that book. (Suppose you get bonus points if you put an offering
    of a cup of tea or coffee in the center of the pentagram.) And hey if he shows
    up then you two can hash out your writing dilemma over a hot cup of java.

    Ok, that's all I got. Wish you the best of luck, and if you happen to summon
    Satan, tell him I said hi. :p
     
  17. DeeDee

    DeeDee Contributor Contributor

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    Shhhhhhh.... Space on the bookshop bookshelves is limited as it is. :evilsmile:

    what deadrats said + what cave troll said = bestseller :superagree:

    And now I plan to start going out at full moons to check out how many people follow this wonderful advice :D
     
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