That Moment...

I'd marry the Dali Lama, if only to see how that mustache works.

 

Not knowing the boy or his paramour, I really only feel qualified to aim it at the gluten-free.

 

I am vigilant and pathetic presently. It shall pass, lordship, respectfully.

 

I used to date a girl with coeliacs and while I was with her I pretty much shared her diet just to be safe. It was a struggle to say the least and even most hard liquors would set her off. There was a specific brand of gin that we both enjoyed, but god knows what it was called now.

 

Mmm... It wasn't so much about defending the English language as simply pointing out the dichotomy. Everything you just said about English is equally true about my native Spanish.

I've had clients from parts of South America speaking "Spanish" that left me like...



And to be clear, these weren't people of Mayan or Aztec extraction who don't speak Spanish at home, speaking instead one of the indigenous languages of the Americas. No, these were str8-up Latinos speaking varieties of Spanish that were harder for me to follow than cultured Brazilian Portuguese, which I can follow pretty easily. Mentioning any of this, let alone creating memes or ditties about it, was considered wildly egregious in the forum in question.

 

It has been known to happen. Good luck.

 

And then there's my job, where I have to be both prescriptivist and descriptivist. In writing, for example, rigidly enforcing the rule of never, but never, start a sentence with and, but, so, or or, because otherwise their papers will be littered with fragments. Because (more complicated) those are okay in Japanese.

Then we shift gears to the speaking portion of the lesson. "Repeat after me: "ainnscree. ainnscree. ainnscree. mehvreeday. mehvreeday. mehvreeday. yoosta. yoosta. yoosta. heyoostacryanscree. heyoostastacryanscree. heyoostacryanscreemevryday. He used to cry and scream every day." but all properly elided and glissaded and schlurred together like a non-Martha Stewart/Speak-n-Spell native speaker would say it.

 

Damn you, now I'm hungry!

 

Why is that your example sentence?

 

From the lesson text.

 

Because it realistically expresses the crushing grip of reality and prepares students for the truth of what they're in for when they enter the job market.

 

I'm pretty sure that's exactly what I said that time I called my girlfriend after eleven whiskey sours.

 

I don't have a clue what is going on here...so...

 

Not for Iceland, unfortunately. But at least they only let two goals in that time.

 

TMW you get a call from the woman who runs your monday night group to ask you if you're coming, when you had sent a text saying so on the friday.

followed by

TMW the same lady rings back within 5 minutes to tell you the taxi will be there for you in about 10 minutes, and asks you to remind him to send invoices!

 

Probably one of those double-triple-checkers!

 

TMW you want ice cream but you’re cold, so you have a potholder in the hand that’s holding your bowl of ice cream.

 

So I opened up my most personal HateBook account again for the first time in... weeks? Months? Dunno. Anyway, it seems the internetz are aflame with battles over whether or not hot dogs and tacos are sandwiches or not.

And some stuff about Trump, but that was a given.

 

TMW you realize you're almost 30 and don't know how to cook yet.

TMW you almost fall into a spiral of self-loathing but you catch yourself and proceed to start dragging yourself out of that spiral.

 

That moment when you just say screw it and learn to rock your favourite song as a solo because you don't have anybody to duet with.

 

The ability to cook is over rated and has caused me more overt relationship drama than pretty much any of my other traits.

 

I always thought that knowing how to cook was a good thing: independence, able to entertain at home and girls impressed that a guy can cook. The reality decades later is somewhat different; I'm basically it when it comes to food in our household. The wife cooks occasionally, but it's up to me mostly. Vampire Time has mostly sucked the joy out of that skill.