Are you Gay?

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by exweedfarmer, Jan 13, 2019.

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Are You Gay?

Poll closed Jan 22, 2019.
  1. Yes

    6 vote(s)
    13.3%
  2. No

    39 vote(s)
    86.7%
  1. katina

    katina Banned Contributor

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    Nothing is ever perfect right?!:superwink:
     
  2. katina

    katina Banned Contributor

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    That tells me off then!:unsure::supersmile:
     
  3. jannert

    jannert Retired Mod Supporter Contributor

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    I do accept this. I admit my own non-understanding of certain aspects of gay culture. As a heterosexual woman, I wouldn't expect to fully understand the perspective of a gay man.

    I am, and always have been, totally supportive of gender diversity. And am appalled at the discrimination non-heterosexual people have had to suffer over the years. I know many gay people who pretended not to be for so many years—either because they weren't sure themselves, or were terrified of the reaction they'd get. Living a lie really took its toll on them and blighted their young lives. It's so good that times have changed enough now that many more young people are openly exploring what gender is, and are relatively unafraid to live as a non-heterosexual human being. (It's not totally safe yet, but I think it soon will be ...maybe the next generation can live as they want to live, without fear at all.)

    However, I would be less than honest if I didn't also admit the diva thing makes me uncomfortable. Because it does. I want to say 'FFS, do you think THAT'S what women are like?' It feels more like a reflection on women than anything else. Maybe if women would stop projecting themselves as divas—as slaves to makeup and fashion in an ideal world—men will change their approach as well?
     
    Last edited: Jan 16, 2019
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  4. The Dapper Hooligan

    The Dapper Hooligan (V) ( ;,,;) (v) Contributor

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    If it makes you feel better, I doubt very much that these guys are trying to be women, and, between you and me, I wouldn't suggest to them that they were.
     
  5. Some Guy

    Some Guy Manguage Langler Supporter Contributor

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    Okay, I'll admit it, but get it right! I'm Gray, dammit! Learn to spell! :D
     
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  6. Tenderiser

    Tenderiser Not a man or BayView

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    Is there a word for when you can't be bothered to have sex with anybody?

    I'm sorry, but I LOVE that typo.
     
  7. jim onion

    jim onion New Member

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    Anti-sexual, or asexual for short.

     
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  8. jannert

    jannert Retired Mod Supporter Contributor

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    They aren't pretending to BE women, of course—but they ARE projecting the most extreme form of superficial 'womanhood' that there is. If they are men, attracted to men, why would they do this? You'd think they'd project male-ness instead? I'm truly interested. What would attract a gay man to diva-hood? And lots of them seem to be. To the extent that women like Cher, Barbara Streisand, Liza Minelli, Shirley Bassey, etc, are often referred to as 'gay icons?' It's not answering my question to just say 'but some gay men are attracted to divas.' I would love to know why.

    I can certainly explain what attracts me to certain types of men. I can also explain why I project the outward image that I do. My consciously-created self-image projects who I actually am. (And this is the product of a long fight I've had against many others, including my mother, who wanted me to project a different, more stereotypical image altogether.) So it's not entirely off the planet (especially as a writer) to be curious what attracts other people to different things, and how people choose the way they present themselves to the world.
     
    Last edited: Jan 16, 2019
  9. katina

    katina Banned Contributor

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    can't be asked?! Three letter word.
     
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  10. jim onion

    jim onion New Member

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    They like the behavior or aesthetic or personality of a diva, but they want the D.

    They like being a woman but specifically in a man's body.
     
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  11. katina

    katina Banned Contributor

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    Hi @Foxxx
    Have you always been asexual?
     
  12. katina

    katina Banned Contributor

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    the D?
     
  13. The Dapper Hooligan

    The Dapper Hooligan (V) ( ;,,;) (v) Contributor

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    Maybe they're doing it because that's how they feel comfortable as a person instead of doing it to attract men or fill societal roles. You're also assuming that there's something inherently wrong with things like make-up. I've rocked make-up, straight men could rock make-up. There ain't noting wrong with wanting to feel pretty regardless of how superficial it may be.
     
  14. jim onion

    jim onion New Member

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    Lol, nooo, I was responding to @Tenderiser but now I'm not sure if their question was rhetorical.

    You and I talked before about my experiences with the fairer sex, how God outdid himself when He made them, and how I *wish* I was asexual because it would make my life a lot less painful and would free up a lot of... RAM, to put it metaphorically.

    It's good to know you're not keeping tabs on us after all. ;P
     
    Last edited: Jan 16, 2019
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  15. jannert

    jannert Retired Mod Supporter Contributor

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    Okay, that makes sense. Thank you! That was the kind of information I was hoping to discover here.
     
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  16. The Dapper Hooligan

    The Dapper Hooligan (V) ( ;,,;) (v) Contributor

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    You could always switch teams. I could think of a couple of ways to keep your ram occupied.
     
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  17. jim onion

    jim onion New Member

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    Important: I'm straighter than a straight-edger, so I was just giving your question my best educated guess. Not speaking from experience.
     
    Last edited: Jan 16, 2019
  18. jim onion

    jim onion New Member

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    Believe me, I've considered it. I get along with guys approximately 69.69% more easily than with any remotely attractive female on the planet known as Earth.

    But, I'm a hopeless romantic, and hopelessly attracted to sirens, witches, vixens and the like. Especially the latter, hence my name.

    Aaand back to my beer.
     
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  19. jannert

    jannert Retired Mod Supporter Contributor

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    I'm very much of the opinion that there is something wrong with makeup! :) (The kind that women are made to feel they have to wear in order to be accepted.) It's different from face-painting, which can be fun. Face painting is a temporary disguise, like wearing a costume. Kind of theatrical. Nobody is going to be denied a job because they don't wear face paint or a costume to disguise their identity.

    But makeup for women? Just look at the requirements for being, for example, a stewardess. Some airlines are more 'modern' than others, and recognise that taking care of passengers during a flight can probably be done by somebody in a logo'd t-shirt, comfortable shoes and /or trousers, wearing no makeup at all. But many are still very specific about the requirement for makeup, skirts, heeled shoes, etc. This is the kind of obligatory makeup/dress thing that makes me uncomfortable. Pretty? As if a woman/man is less pretty if they're not wearing makeup? I reckon beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. And it's the beholder's opinion I'm seeking here on this thread. Why would some gay men be attracted to that kind of pretty?
     
    Last edited: Jan 16, 2019
  20. jannert

    jannert Retired Mod Supporter Contributor

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    Well, your explanation, that a gay man sometimes wants to be in a woman's body while being attracted to men, certainly helps me to understand the perspective. However it doesn't answer my secondary question as to why a man would think a woman's body needs to wear makeup and high heels—but at least that's a start. Maybe these are two different issues. A gay man's desire to project as a woman, and a gay man's vision of what a woman is actually like.
     
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  21. jim onion

    jim onion New Member

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    It's probably a Venn diagram. They're two separate things but there's also territory where they overlap.

    I don't mean to get into a debate about make-up, since I don't entirely agree with you. But to focus on where I do sort of agree with you, as I mentioned earlier, liking make-up and all the other wonderful accentuating things women wear comes with a price to pay of feeling deceived at some point down the line.

    It's quite the conundrum.

    Having some very precise brain damage that only targets the sexual areas of my brain and disables them would be the most ideal way for me to sort it out.
     
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  22. The Dapper Hooligan

    The Dapper Hooligan (V) ( ;,,;) (v) Contributor

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    Please, no.

    Social mores. Why do women insist men's bodies need trousers and flats?
     
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  23. jannert

    jannert Retired Mod Supporter Contributor

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    The first quote has to do with what @Foxx said earlier, which was thinking about reasons why a gay man might want to project as a woman.

    The second quote is a good question. Maybe the same reason I, as a woman, prefer trousers and flats, although I live in a country where kilts are popular. It's part of the culture's mores, if you will, and modern pleated kilts (a Victorian invention) sprang from practical gear, which saw earlier highlanders wearing 'plaids' which were long pieces of cloth, woven in distinctive patterns, that were wrapped around the body and could serve as upper and lower garments as well as general blankets, etc, as needed.

    As for trousers and flats ...well, that's what I prefer to wear as a woman. Why? Because they allow me to to move around freely, without shoe heels crippling my movements or the wind blowing my skirts up. Trousers (jeans mostly) keep my legs warm. It has nothing to do with sexual preference or orientation. I would not insist that men follow this same trend, as it's up to them if they want to cripple themselves with high heels, and etc. However, I'm not attracted to a mindset that favours form over function, in either woman or man. (And why I struggle to understand 'diva-ness.')

    I would never insist on men wearing a skirt, makeup and uncomfortable and impractical shoes with heels either. Which, unfortunately, is what has happened to women over the centuries. Men have insisted women dress like this and have got their way, until relatively recently. Any woman who didn't conform to these 'rules' was ostracized. Sometimes persecuted. It's not a form of dress that I respect, and I do find it a tad insulting when some men think it's what makes a woman 'pretty.'
     
    Last edited: Jan 16, 2019
  24. The Dapper Hooligan

    The Dapper Hooligan (V) ( ;,,;) (v) Contributor

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    Not to argue, but when reading history, when it comes to fashion it's mostly along the lines of. "Around 1247 Queen Soandso thought her chin looked a bit saggy, so she tied a bit of cloth around it and up under her hat. The Court saw this and within a decade everyone from scullery maids to countesses were wearing one." High heels were originally worn by men and then adopted by women at which point men stopped wearing them because they were seen as feminine. So I would think women have just as much insistence on how women dressed as men do.

    Men who don't follow the proper gendered rules of dress are still ostracized. I don't think this is a symptom of the patriarchy, but humans being idiots to other humans.
     
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  25. Lilith Fairen

    Lilith Fairen Member

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    LILITH GREATLY APPROVES
     
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