Worst Criticisms You've Ever Received

My worst ever was on this forum when I put a poem on and found out it wasn't even a poem.
Damn the truth hurt because I have over a hundred of the 'not even a poem' hand written over the years.

I am not thin skinned because I spent my life as a cross between Walter Mitty and the Great Pretender.
Having over a hundred jobs and 29 different trades, I would often look around my desk on Friday waiting for security to march me out of the building. I was found out a few times but never lost my job over it.

 

And...

Some people are envious. If you write something that surpasses what they can do, they hit you with a huge wet fish.

This is not very common, but still possible.

 

I wrote a fantasy story about ducks many years ago, and sent it in to a publisher. The response? "I smell fried duck, and that's not because there's a Mongolian restaurant down the street." They later changed to wolves, but I never cared to send it in to a publisher again. I still have the story, and absolutely hate it. Terrible writing. Terrible plot. Terrible pacing. But it was the first real book I wrote, and I like to keep it as a reminder of where I started. It's priceless to me, but worthless to anyone else.

 

Those are the type of treasures I cherish the most.

 

Someone on a different forum once wrote "I hope you know I'm now imagining you frantically murmuring at your laptop with occasional outbursts of enraged profanity about ducks." wasn't exactly a critique, and I liked it, but still...

 

Actually, the worst I ever got was a combination. I was a member of another, smaller writing forum which is now defunct, and I'd written a short story that I was planning on sending in to a competition. I was on good terms with almost everyone there, had helped and been given help, so I put my story up in the crit section, letting everyone know that I was planning on submitting it, and any little bit of help would be much appreciated.

I got one person gushing "Oh my god, this is so awesome, send it!" or some such, and... crickets.

Nobody else offered a word. Not a single "You don't need that comma" or "But what does he look like?" or "Kinda cliched" or "Hate to be rude, but I don't think you're contest ready yet." Just silence.

That's the unkindest crit of all.

 

I have one of those right now in the novel critique
I was hoping to get maybe some of the newbie’s that had to do their two for one

 

I can laugh about this now, sort of, but at the time, it stopped me dead in my tracks. It shouldn't have, because this particular "friend" is a jerk about everything. I never should have let him read my story in the first place. He shredded it. I didn't even let him start the second chapter. He was so harsh about everything, even the fact that it was formatted like a novel with paragraph indentation instead of skipped lines. The one that tripped me up the most though was when he pointed to a paragraph about two pages in and said with superiority bordering on disgust, "I'm sure you think this means something, but it doesn't."

I had already asked two or three people to read that exact section, because I was worried that the metaphor was overly esoteric. They were able to tell me exactly what it meant, and said they liked the imagery, so I knew it meant exactly what I wanted it to mean. I have seriously thin skin though, and that was only one of many problems he had with the first chapter. I didn't pick up that project again for months, maybe a couple of years. In fairness, I'd abandoned the thing several times before for lesser reasons, but it was about impossible to come back to that time. The problem was, as mean as he is about everything all the time, he has great taste. We enjoy almost all the same books, comics, television, movies, everything. Part of me knew how terrible he'd be about it. I just didn't know how badly I'd react to it. Honestly, I haven't made a serious return to that project since.

 

I understand the feeling. It takes me a while to come back to a project that's been criticized severely. But I hope you return to your project eventually. I remember one of my teachers once said "students are much more critical of writing than professors." I thought that was an interesting comment and I asked him about it later. He elaborated by saying that criticizing a piece is much easier than pointing out its strengths. In his class, most of the students tore to shreds a paper that received an A from him -- though they didn't know the grade it got at the time. Even if your friend has good taste in art, I wouldn't worry too much about his opinion, especially if he doesn't have much experience writing himself.

 

Like, is that supposed to be a bad thing?

 

I've read books I didn't like before; one of the things I've trained myself to do was to preface my criticism with something like this... "You shouldn't take my opinion to be indicative of what everyone else would think of your book. Consider the Twilight series, it sold millions, made its author rich, got turned into movies etc and yet the books have weathered a ceaseless storm of criticism ever since they hit the shelves, so my opinion is simply my own, don't take it as proof that you've written a dud; I'm learning the craft as well, so stay encouraged. "

 

Yes. The best criticism makes you recognise something about your writing that you weren't aware of before—however it's couched. Vaguely positive remarks are just as useless as mean-spirited negative ones. Specific feedback is a lot more helpful.

However, I'm not a fan of being harsh during critiques, because that tone can really hurt people who are feeling vulnerable anyway. It doesn't mean that I can't give firm criticism, but I don't believe it has to be delivered in a harsh or dismissive tone. Rather than making a vulnerable writer want to improve, harshness can make them feel as if they can't improve, and they stop trying.

That's got nothing to do with the quality of their writing, and everything to do with their personality. It's a mistake to think that only thick-skinned people can be good writers! Some people thrive on encouragement rather than discouragement. If somebody you respect tells you that your writing is crap and there isn't any point in trying to improve—because you won't—I fail to see how that is helpful. Unless, of course, you're the kind of person who intends to 'show THEM!' Again, that boils down to personality, not writing ability.

But—if a person can develop a thick skin (not about the criticism itself, but about the way it's presented) then even tactless or arrogant criticism can be helpful.

Or not.

 

I know it was a bit harsh, but it was also quite funny. That said, looking back at it now, I don't know if he was right or not. I know he was refering to Donald Duck, but Marvel has Howard the Duck, and there was a Swedish (I think?) comic about some duck. I've always enjoyed video games a lot, and I remember reading about a fantasy game where one of the main character was a duck. Not to mention I'm currently playing a video game where the two main characters you start with is a boar and, yep, a duck. So I dno't think having a duck as the MC is all that bad. Besides, the story was fantasy, inspired by Dungeons & Dragons, Dragonlance and all that. Not that there haven't been fantasy-stories with Donald Duck, but he's hardly best known for those.

Though know what? I'm currently in the early stages of a fantasy story, and this duck situation has made me consider bringing them back gain. Why should my heroes be humans anyway? I love unique fantasy races, and I love to think about how their society would be. If we have a town full of mermaids, why would they care for things like doors, or stairs? If you want to go to the third floor, just swim up there. Some houses can be built on the sea floor, but if you're in a cave, why not dig out the house in the ceiling? It's not practical for humans, as we have that stupid gravity thing to deal with. But mermains can simply swim there. No big deal. So if the MC is from a race of bidepad ducks, how would their society be like? Or turtles? We could have a town partly submerged in a lake, as they live just as well under water. I know some turtles live entirely underwater, and some live on land. But some can live both places easily enough. I had one that loved to stay outside in the grass in the summer, but she hibernated underwater all winter. Either was fine with her. So if she was intelligent and capable enough to have a society, what would it be like? I find stuff like that facinating to think about.

And sorry, got a bit off-track here. I tend to do that.

 

I suppose you could say Donald and Daffy were fantasy duck characters!

 

Someone once told me to stop wasting my time writing and do something more productive, because my writing sucked so much that I might as well give up. She said this not once, but continuously over a series of emails between generally trampling over every example of my writing. I cried and cried and very nearly did stop writing.

How I moved on? A fervent belief that I am a good writer. Secondly, so what if I'm a bad writer? Seriously, so fucking what? One thing my mum taught me: If you don't know how to do something, you learn! So that's what I decided. If I stopped now, I'll always be bad. If I keep writing, I'll improve. And that has always been my aim to this day: to be a better writer everyday. Not the perfect writer. Not the best writer. Just better than yesterday. I asked myself, "What do I want?" And my answer was, "To tell this story." So that took me to: "And what do I need to do to tell this story? And to tell it better?" How much something hurt doesn't matter - what am I gonna do about it matters. And I made up my mind to do whatever it takes to tell this story, and if it means accepting hard to swallow criticism, then so be it.

It's not all negative. This same person alerted me to my tendency of writing "He smiled, she smiled, everyone smiled" (I also had a soft spot for "He looked at her") In my head it was a movie, which unfortunately didn't translate to narrative. I still do it sometimes but I'm aware and I try to avoid it. That was the first time I realised just how much I was trying to tell a story like a movie.

It also taught me: just because someone's offering feedback doesn't mean you have to listen, or even expose yourself to it. It's all right to find someone who has the sensitivity and respect for you as a person and for your work instead of thinking, "Well I must listen to this because it's feedback!" Listening to someone who doesn't understand your work or your voice will just damage you as a writer. Find someone who gets what you're trying to do who can help hone your skill - and it's that much easier to weed out bad advice too if it's coming from someone who comes from a place of appreciating your work and your approach.

 

The worst criticism I've ever gotten was when I posted the first chapter of UTK to Fiction Press. The majority of reviews were by anonymous members, and consisted of various versions of "You suck, your writing sucks and you should be embarrassed to even think of posting this drivel in a public forum." It was the most nonconstructive forum I've ever been part of, and I could tell within a week that I wasn't going to get any thoughtful feedback there.

The experience didn't dissuade me from continuing, though. I just removed the chapters and moved over to LiveJournal, which was much more productive.

 

I concur. Everyone has a "Style" that should remain pure and undiluted. Positive criticism may help the technique, but the author's unique style should remain in tact.

 

Oh, the huge manatee.

I generally don't have a problem with criticism, but I'm not fond of the "this sucks and you should kill yourself" type comments. Not because I find them offensive, but because they're incredibly unhelpful. Chances are if I'm putting something out for critique, I already know it sucks, so you're not really telling anything new there. But WHY does it suck? That's the one question these edgelord yokels can't seem to find an answer to.

 

People who resort to that kind of criticism are trolls who just want to injure you when you're vulnerable; they don't want to be helpful.

 

True, but they don't appear in "fantasy" stories like Dungeons & Dragons often. Big difference there.

 

One person said to me: "This is terrible."
I asked: "How could I improve it?"
He said: "By burning it."
This is a throw away comment. Ignore this person. They are just being cruel for their own personal reasons. Making a statement then not backing up, even when asked, why they think it. I realized this person was just being spiteful and dropped them.
If he had turned round to me and given me a list of reasons why it was terrible I would have noted them all and looked into it.

Other feedback has been: "your grammar and punctuation is extremely hideous." (yes it is and I'm well aware) It's something I can improve and most definitely have.
I'm extremely thick skinned and don't mind blunt, brutal feedback as long as it's worth it.
"You can't write."
"I've had turds that could write something more thought-provoking than this drivel." (this made me giggle)
But if they go on to back up their statement I listen. I take it in. Maybe blunt and worded 'harshly' but if there's wisdom in it, I can take it.

I prefer brutally honest feedback any day over being lied too or sugar-coated.

 

First, there is no way you can laugh about it now, not even "sort of". This guy has caused you to never return to the project.

What you should do is write about why you have a person you think is a "jerk" as a friend in the first place. I have always been intrigued by people with such "friends". I mean, I bet you knew exactly what he was going to say before you even showed it to him, that's how well you know him... you know what he is going to say before he even opens his mouth. And I bet he's your BEST friend isn't he? (Look up sado-masochistic relationships). These kind of relationships kill me. You knew he was going to rip you to shreds, you showed it to him anyway and then was surprised how bad it hurt. You actually respect this guy's opinion above all others but in an unhealthy way. You can't wait for him to critique your next piece. Writing about it here let you get some of it out. Writing about it some more, even if you never show it to anybody, will help even more .

Now, excuse me as I have to get back to watching "The Talented Mr. Ripley".

 

It sounds like you want to like him and to some extent look up to him. But what I've learnt is, the mark of character is your kindness, your gentleness. I have more respect for the kind and gentle than I do for anyone who pushes their weight around. He does not have "great taste" - don't mistake the fact that he likes similar things to you as having great taste. He may like the same things for all different reasons to you. Don't fall for the trap of: He likes awesome things, so if he likes my story too, then that makes it awesome, right? Why do you seek this guy's validation? Truth be told, it sounds like he's jealous. Someone with talent doesn't need to go round putting someone else down to feel better - because they'll already know they're good enough.

In your case, I'd take my mum's motto. You think this sucks? I'll work twice as hard and prove you wrong.

Because, really, why do you think he's right? You already know he isn't - you said so yourself. What a waste of your talent, what a waste of a good concept for a story to let someone who's clearly wrong stop you in your tracks so this story never sees the light of day. What for?

You were unwise to show him your work when 1. you say you have seriously thin skin and 2. you knew he's a jerk about everything. But to let him stop you from writing this story would be still another mistake. Learn from this - and let the lesson be: No one can stop me. You owe it to yourself and to your story. You don't have to publish the story, you don't have to show a soul if you don't want to. But for goodness' sake, finish it - even if it's just to prove that guy wrong and show him for the utter idiot he is.

Btw I seriously hope you're not friends with him anymore. He sounds like a douchebag.

ETA: he broke your spirit. I thoroughly believe such people will pay for their evil. This goes beyond just being mean. I'd punch the guy for you if I could.