I'm writing a plot based on characters that have all sorts of super powers and fighting skills but I want them to stand out well enough so they are not received as boring and generic and neither be viewed as stereotypical or offensive. The story is mainly about all kinds of fighters that fight against echother in a fighting tournament in a fantasy-like setting with some sci fi and even horror elements and takes place in the near future. This plot might also be used in a potential fighting game since I might want to get into writing stories for games but right now I want to get good at making plots for creative characters. These are characters that I came up with and mixed and meshed ideas on what would make them unique and stand out. Here's what I have trouble with, One of my characters is supposed to be a somewhat overweight drunken kung fu master. The plot is basically that he is a black French Canadian kung fu instructor from Montreal Canada that lost his dojo after gambling then he becomes a drunken fist master with powers from a god of wine and taught by an 8 immortal Chinese master god. He's supposed to be a bit of a joke character with some humor and a little bit of a parody kind of kung fu fighter. Is any of this offensive? what could I do to improve on him so he's less offensive? I was told that because he is black that this could come off as being very offensive. This other character is supposed to be a warrior monk with angel/human/demon blood mixed since he is from one parent that is half human/angel and the other was a demon and has a snow lion/lion dog fu/snow leopard type of spiritual guardian motif. I was told that he's a very generic character, what do I need to improve on him so he's more unique? Also this monk is supposed to have a best friend and rival but since the monk accidentally killed their master his once best friend has become his enemy rival. I thought of maybe his friend/rival could become an MMA fighter but if his friend wants vengeance on the monk then that might not make sense. I also thought of maybe having his friend/rival be captured by an organization and they turned him into a cybernetically enhanced fighter in promising they would help him get his revenge on monk but that might not make sense as he would be going after the monk for vengeance at any cost right? Not get himself captured? what could I work on for the monk's rival/friend idea to improve on it? And for this one other character is a female ancient feudal Japanese ghost girl. Two options I have is either she fights with telekinesis while her naginata blade hovers around her and uses small daggers when close fighting or she is apart of her naginata blade weapon and comes out of it like the Ring from the t.v screen and she fights by getting in close teleporting and possessing you. Which idea sounds better for her way of attacking? Any help with these characters and I would greatly appreciate it, thank you.
Well, one saying I adhere to is that if nobody could find a character offensive, they don't actually have a personality. I think the key is to make this guy an individual rather than just a collection of archetypes. Put some thought into how he is as a person, beyond the superficial. For example....maybe he comes across as the wacky, jolly guy at first, but then the other characters start to become aware of what is a legitimatelly tragic background. Does he feel unworthy of his position after screwing up, or is he determined to make the most of his second chance and not let anybody down? Does he have a drinking problem that's made worse by needing booze to use his kung fu? Does he seem like the wacky comedy relief, only to turn out to be a legitimately dangerous fighter when the chips are down? Something I read in an RPG book once was "don't confuse having an interesting character sheet with having an interesting character" Just bear in mind that what will make this guy interesting is not his exotic ancestry, it'll be how personally engaging and relatable he is to the reader. So again, spend some time on developing his personality, and thinking about what that background means to him. How does he relate to his parents (or how does he feel about their absence)? Does he feel isolated from other people due to his upbringing? Does he keep himself under tight control, or does he tend to indulge in the worldly pleasures he never got a chance to enjoy?
That's a good question! Well it basically goes like this, he was a great martial artist and teacher who was very well fit and one day he loses his dojo after it was revealed that he had some underground gambling habits. So he goes into a depressed drunken state down on his luck kind of guy and also gains lots of weight. While searching for new jobs, he comes across a magic vile of wine that belonged to an ancient Roman god or from some sort of god of wine cult he joined, then he began visions of a master to go out and seek and travel to until he came across this ancient guardian master that was one of the 8 Immortal Chinese masters who taught this overweight guy the drunken fist. So I guess you could say is he wants to make the best of his second chance but at the same time he gets greedy down the line but in a funny comedic way. His drinking problem would get worse as in he has more fun with it maybe that the wine gives him power and has a bit of fun with women too (kinda like the mythology based on the Roman god of wine forgot his name that takes pleasure in drinking, food and women) only he enjoys it more with his drunken kung fu like in the Jackie Chan movies. But he would have a disciplined side and he is somewhat dangerous but screws up a lot He never met his parents so he knows nothing about them since he was raised in a temple in Tibet with monks, at least he doesn't know of them yet. He actually gets along with everyone fine as he seems just like a regular human at first. He doesn't even know about his powers yet and neither does anyone else. and he's been living at the temple in a small village so has no other experiences outside the world. Basically he was a skilled monk raised in tibet and never knew his real parents but raised in a temple that was trained by a master and one of the characters he grew up with in the temple was his best friend and somewhat rival. One day his temple and village is raided by these inquisitor knight zombie like beings led by this evil Paladin resurrected knight killing many. The monk then while fighting them goes into a rage like uncontrollable demonic state which only kills the zombie knights but also killing his fellow training brothers and villagers and even kills his master when his best friend and rival tires to stop monk then monk releases what he'd done and runs off in shame and his friend wants revenge on the monk for killing the master and for realizing that monk is an evil demonic monster himself[/QUOTE]
I don't know how this could be seen as offensive, nothing that i read came off as being so. as for being generic i've always felt that descriptor refers more to how a character acts and behaves. I mean Guts from berserk is kind of generic in concept, angry dude with a big sword chasing down the man who wronged him, however his characterization and the way he interacts with the world makes him an interesting and rather unique character.
I see your point which is true. So what could I do for the Kung Fu Drunken master guy so he's not just another common stereotypical outdated drunken master kung fu trope? And especially since he is of black French-Canadian descent which I was told could come off as being a little offensive?
again i can't speak for the offensiveness of it, i just dont see it. maybe they're one of those cultural appropriation types and so his French-Canadian heritage is their issue? i dunno, it all seems fine in that regard. as for how to avoid the stereotype, you could make him extremely eloquent when drunk. or maybe he's a drunk but a relatively stable one? Maybe he makes jokes that only make sense in french? His blunders could actually be planned and calculated moves that set his opponent up for a crushing defeat. Let me know if any of these ideas are helpful at all.
This might work! I was going to kind of make him bad well not like a villain but sort of calculated and deceiving but that might not be such a good idea. He would be pretty stable but he's supposed to represent that sort of trope that is somewhat of a joke character so he would be kind of silly, problem is I don't know too many jokes in French I was going to have him also gained some magic powers while overweight from a Roman gods wine that then he drank from and got these godly powers and then visioned learning from a drunken master which he found and learned the style, or he took a powerful advanced drug that made him overweight and depressed but gained these amazing powers from the drug which made him the powers of an immortal god and created his own drunken fist style?
I would go with the Roman god wine honestly, gives it a bit of a mystical edge, but its up to you. you can make a protagonist who is good while also being crafty and deceiving, just look at JoJo's Bizarre adventure. most of the fights in that revolve around being crafty and they're pretty much wholly good. I can give you a joke in french. "What do you call a bunch of swimming hens? a swimming Poule!" Note that i never said it was a good joke, it's just the one i know.
Sounds like this will work good then and nice pun joke too, he needs some humor lol. Do you think I'm better off just making him an ancient Roman god that loved to drink and indulge in fun, got overweight and then wanted to find something healthier in life after being overweight when he traveled to China and met the immortal Chinese gods learning drunken fist and learned to love his weight? Becoming the roman drunken kung fu god of wine? Or sticking with the black French Canadian drunken kung fu fighter sound better as planned? Sorry for asking this, I just like to hear these kinds of feedback.
No worries i get it. that's part of why we're all here right? Personally i like the French Canadian version more, but both sound good. it really lands on you, what do YOU want to write about? You're going to be putting all the effort in so go with what you think you'll enjoy more.
I like French Canadian actually when I think of it I like to think outside the box. I just hope it won't be offensive because he's black. And he wouldn't be the main MC just one of many characters.
Probably because he's kind of a joke character not a main character and because some feel that has been a common theme with black characters portrayed? Ones I asked didn't really give me enoigh specific reasons really other than that.
Eh? is that all it takes to be offensive? dont worry too much about them, they're too preoccupied with the color of the characters skin rather than their contribution to the story.
Well, I would wonder if it's absolutely essential for your joke character to also be a black character, especially if he's your only black character.
Yes unfortunately some get very serious over the skin color even asking why I chose that particular race for him when he could of been white or Asian. I say that white and Asian for this character has been done enough times imo I could be wrong though.
No I have more black characters. One who's a female black American mad scientist, a black female British cybercop with her cyber doggie sidekick, a half Chinese/black young guy who's got the powers of the Monkey King and I was going to have one more but can't think of that character right now.
They would all be serious, save for the Monkey King guy who would be a little mischievous and I might have this silent cool calm headed and a little stoic black guy who was an SAS operative either like a Janes Bond like guy or some kinda military mixed modern ninja lone wolf.
Did the reader who was concerned about you being offensive know this? I'm wondering if there's some subtle problem that only comes out in actually reading the text.
I can't tell. It might be a big basket of assorted offensiveness, or it might be more or less fine. I think the judging is in the reading.
I might save them one day for a storyline for a role playing brawling game instead, maybe that would be easier and less offensive since their actions would be more based on their appearances and how they visually move as opposed to how one would read about them in a book?
