The Not Happy Thread

One of my exes wasn't too happy to come home from work and find I'd moved out. I'm just highly avoidant at emotional situations and goodbyes. It wasn't anything personal to him.

 

To me it looks like this information is in wrong thread. Maybe Happy would be better?

Big, smiling and honest congratulations from En Finne Igen!

 

It probably looks a bit like emotional blackmail, but probably isn't. Your mom is probably just reacting to unexpected news, and wondering how it's going to affect her plans. That's fair enough. Between now and December is PLENTY of time for them to prepare for somebody else to look after the cat! I mean, are they saying that if you move away they can never go on holiday again because they own a cat? If so, they have the problem, not you. I could see why they would be upset if you had just dumped this plan on them a couple of weeks before they were going on their trip. But you've given plenty of notice.

You do need to consider (carefully) how this immigration thing is going to work for you. For instance, double-check the requirements for entry, etc. Everything is up in the air just now, thanks to Brexit. But do what you can to get off on the right foot. Check out the current rules and regulations, and be ready to comply with them, as well as be ready to accomodate change, depending on how Brexit eventually pans out.

Your mom and her cat/dog issues are something that can be easily dealt with.

I'm speaking as somebody who DID make the move from one country to another, many moons ago. I was fortunate enough to have a travel agent (great people, a dying breed....) who put me in touch with what I needed to know before I came. Thanks to her, my entry and residency was established without a glitch. I'm now a UK citizen, and as long as I don't commit felonies, I should be okay from now on. If I hadn't followed the rules and regs to a T, however, I could easily have been either sent home directly from the airport, or deported later on. So make sure this kind of issue gets dealt with. The cat issue is perfectly solveable. The immigration issue is the one you need to concentrate on.

 

Oh, yeah. I've done that. The funny thing is when the younger "visitor" begins to give evidence of being really interested in what you're saying, and the more experienced of the two grabs him and makes a hasty exit.

 

After nearly 6 months of doing everything except actually putting new words on the page, today I opened the file of the book I got half-drafted during NaNoWriMo, intending to work on it.

And around 8,000 words of it is missing.

I know I produced a more up-to-date version. The latest one I have is dated the afternoon of the 28th, and I finished NaNo after midnight the 29th. Where has it gone? And yes, I saved my work. I always save my work. I hit CTRL-S all the time.

What's more, sometime this past winter I opened the correct file and looked at it. At that time I noticed that in my rush to crank out the 50,000 words I used the phrase "he involved" as a speech tag in one of the scenes that's missing now. (Don't ask me what I really meant to say.) That's something you don't forget. So the file was there then. Where is it now?

Trying not to panic. I've got enough to deal with already, being seized by a sore throat.

But I don't want to rewrite those scenes, I don't want to, I don't want to! And more than that, I don't want to think I'm getting so frazzled and spacey I might have deleted the latest file by some bizarre mistake.

 

Ugh, I know the feeling. I've got five weeks of lesson worksheets.... somewhere. They aren't in the file they should be, where did I hide them? Got til the end of next week before it becomes an issue, but still.

 

^Hopefully you both find what you're looking for, and have better luck than I did!

 

It'll be happy news once we get engaged... and we're not doing that until we actually live together. Me and Lost getting married is a future thing that hopefully won't involve my mother too much.

It just the way my mother went about it that really stressed me. We'll get there, let's focus on the move first!

It might not be as easy as just packing up my stuff and leave, especially after Brexit, but I think as long as we research it properly and take all the right steps it shouldn't be impossible.

There's a lot to consider and it's a bit big and scary to think about - but we need to give it a try and hope for the best.

I guess it's just stressing us all out (except Lost who's not capable of feeling stress). When we met he was going to move here, but then he got a really good job and I lost (my old) job. Since then it leaned more against me moving.

While we don't know exactly when that move would be we need to start plan it now - and there is so much to think about.

 

Well, at the moment (before Brexit) at least you are allowed to come to the UK if you are Swedish, so hopefully that will hold for a while at least. Whether you are allowed to stay, however, will be dependent on lots of other factors.

One thing I would do first-off, once you get here, is get a job. Without income you are vulnerable—EU citizen or not. Then you can take your time to decide whether this move is permanent, as you are entitled to free movement just now, but in the meantime keep up on the changing Brexit situation. At the moment you are free to come here, work, and basically stay as long as you like (as long as you can support yourself.) Once Brexit kicks in, however, that is likely to change.

It's a big deal under any circumstances—a permanent international move.

I came from outwith the EU, so I was only allowed to stay here for 3 months at a time, and was not allowed to work. So my (future) husband and I had to decide to get married fairly quickly, without actually spending a lot of time together first. We had met the previous year, and he visited me in the USA as well. The relationship was genuine (still is, 33 years later! ) But we had to jump through lots of hoops to get permission for me to stay. Including proving that he could support me after marriage (fortunately he had a good job, so that wasn't a problem.)

I had to get prior permission to get married before I was allowed into the UK for that purpose. So if I had just come wafting over here on a romantic cloud, la la la la la, I'd have been sent straight back. With black marks against my name, which could have put us back years.

Once we got married (within the 3-month time limit allotted to me) I was, at least, immediately granted indefinite leave to remain. All these things are MUCH harder to do now. I got very lucky.

I can't stress it hard enough. Ensure you lay the legal groundwork before you come. Your mother and the cat are the least of your worries.

 

Having been out all day, I had no food. So now my stomach is kicking off big time, it hurts like hell and could go on for hours (based on previous events). I have medication for the reflux issue, but it seems that it doesn't stop evil tummy. I wish it was sorted by simply eating food, but it doesn't work that way.

 

Wait, wait, I've been married. Give it a couple of years before jumping to any conclusions.

But assholery aside, congrats.

 

We won't get married for me to move to the UK. It was just my mother's idea because she thought It was the only way.

We're getting married at some point of out life later down the road.

 

Yeah, for me I had no choice. Coming from the USA as I did, I had to be married in order to stay. However, as long as we're still in the EU, you are okay to come here on your own. Honestly, I truly HATE Brexit. What it's doing to individual people, never mind the economy, etc, is just beyond real.

 

Aaaaggghhhh!!! I've looked everywhere for that file, on both my computers, on my thumbdrives, on Carbonite, even on the NaNoWriMo site. Nothing. Gone. But the NaNo site gave me one thing: When I checked in for the win last November, my word count was 55,541. The most complete version I have now is only 46,948, down 8,593 words.

Aaaggghhhh!!

And don't even get me started on IngramSpark's measly 240% max total ink coverage for covers you submit to them. And the software programs that are touted to get you over that hump, but are no longer talking to each other in their latest iterations . . .

 

So this week I saw a picture of a person whose pinky toe had been bent completely sideways (funny meme), a picture of a corpse who had died in notably unfortunate circumstances, learned some bad news about a friend, and this morning I tripped in the dark and strained (not sprained or broke, fortunately) my wrist while stopping myself from falling catastrophically.

It's Friday afternoon and I'm ready to hit the reset button, thank you.

 

You don’t want to do that. If you hit the reset button you’ll start over at Monday, and who knows, your do-over could be worse.

 

Factory reset then

 

I've discovered why Hope's guardian kept ringing me. She said it was "to make sure that all avenues have been exhausted before access is formally terminated". She says "it's important for Hope to have that connection with me". She seems to be forgetting that it's not just Hope who is going through this; I am too. It is rough as shit, and the guardian knows I have mental health issues and am about to start 15 months of DBT. I don't think she fully understands just how much shit I am working through of late. It's not just one thing; it's a million different things. The fact that I am not in hospital is a bloody miracle frankly.

 

I don't know how much it means to you, but I just prayed for you and Hope.

I'm certain that The Main Office in Really, Really Upstairs receives and notices that.

And I hope it makes you feel better that you know that someone somewhere cares at least enough to pray for you and Hope.

 

* hugs and good vibes *

(they should've had Hope make a picture or something and not bother you)

 

Also sending hugs and best wishes.

 

I think my mailman has been drinking on the job. Today, we got mail for three different addresses on our block. The really sad part is ours wasn’t one of them. I wonder who got my mail.

 

Silly derp missionaries interrupted my writing. I played not home.
Those guys really should give up by now, I mean after the 5th time
they should get the hint that I don't want none of their religion.
When will they learn?

I don't like being annoyed by doofuses in white shirts and ties, while I
am trying to write death and carnage! It throws off my feng shui, damn it!

 

I’m telling you, invite them in to help sacrefice a virgin. It worked like a charm for me.