What Are You Doing?

Traveling. By Odins balls does it feel good to stretch the fucking leg muscles. I feel like an escaped prisoner, free at last!

Now I just have to find somewhere to eat. Lunch awaits.

 

Typing out lines of dialogue that I hear in my head. I don't know what they mean, or who says them, but I'm writing.

ETA: I'm getting the actions of the characters as well, so maybe it's a script?

 

Found an Ocarina of Time Randomizer on the internet, so now I'm trying to beat the game without knowing where any of the items are or if I can even get them.

 

Yay writing!

 

Still in bed... after ten.

The past week - all though only four work days - has been brutal.

There's been a bit of a heat wave in Sweden this week and that doesn't help when you work at a factory. On top of that the co-worker I worked with the past two days reminds me too much of Matwoolf... I am not sure I left with my sanity intact.

Going to try to get up and then some breakfast. Try.

 

Trying to memorize a monologue from Fahrenheit 451 for a presentation in a class at university tomorrow (doing a second degree at the moment, long story). I tend to switch words, which is bad because the original words are also like landmarks for remembering the rest of the text. I only hope that my nerves won't get the better of me tomorrow, otherwise my monologue will be a very, very long pause.

 

Believe in yourself, and you're halfway there.

 

Thank you .

 

Discovering that my plans to do the customer service course I had my eye on I can't do. Clashes with my therapy.
So I looked at part time courses, online and evening instead with the same place (as they're free of charge). Nope, nope and nope.
Suppose I could study horse care with a different place, but that would cost me at least 1000 euro. Also, I reckon it could be difficult to get a job caring for horses back in England.

 

Raining again thus no riding thus being quite productive with final edit.

After my Lonnie excursion, during unpacking of ute, a fly came into the car and I decided to corral it into the spider's web. Fly actually got stuck good compared to previous attempts of the insects easily detatching themselves.

Phone was already inside so no vid. Spider took about 2 mins to come out of it's burrow.
It sat at the entrance, the fly constantly buzzing. FFS spidey, imma tired, you gonna go get it or not?

Another minute goes by, then bang, it races to the fly, grabs it, but doesn't inject it or wrap it up, it just carries it off back to it's burrow, with the fly buzzing all the way along.
NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO...HHHHHEEEEELLLLLPPPP MMMMMMEEEEEE.
Sad, but 'tis the nature of this physical reality, and equally sad if spidey dies of starvation.

Which reminds me of why I don't accept any religious beliefs of a loving god or any new age Creator\Universe|Consciousness having anything to do with this reality we exist in.
1. Living things have to kill other living things to exist.
2. Excrement.

 

Drinking a tangerine La Croix and taking a small break from polishing a scene. I've been on an editing roll lately, polishing scenes I haven't looked at in a few months, and they're much improved. And now, having been sitting far too long, I'm going to take the trash and recyclables downstairs--in two separate trips, to get the blood moving around a bit.

 

Drinking espresso, hitting the hard tunes, and getting pumped to write
the next bit of the story. Gonna get a smidgen brutal.

 

Trying to write poetry.

 

Enjoying a lunch of spinach and ricotta tortellini and spinach leaves dressed with olive oil and salt. Also sorting through my stuff, by downsizing and realising what I don't even use.

 

A never-ending job. The people at Goodwill know me by name.

 

Taking a break from organizing my writing desk (I generate a lot of paper, so by the end of the week it's usually pretty bad). It's a gorgeous spring day with a cool breeze, so I have the windows open. Sixty-seven degrees is too cold for pool parties, and most people are out of town, so the neighborhood is quieter than usual for the Saturday of a Memorial Day weekend. Can we have this weather for the rest of the summer, please? I'm about to work on a scene, and then later I'm going for a walk and maybe out to dinner.

 

There was a break in the weather yesterday, fully overcast, but zero rain, as it'd rained all through the night and into the morning.

Fuck it, it's been at least 5 days since I had a ride and like mowing in that small window as it rained just as I was finishing, the sky looked like the rain will continue, so I chanced it and the rain fired up again just after returning home.

Deciding to take it easy on me heart since the long break, I had a subtle tailwind and ended up doing 58 in ( 4 mins quicker than avg) the wind increased while in the village, thus a mild to decent headwind on the return in 55. Jolly good ride, but very cold on the return.

Was amazed as I was punching stats in me fone to see I had lost a full week as it's been 11 days since my last ride. I've had a few incidents of losing track of a complete week since moving to Tassie, haven't had one in a while.

Those wasckly Tassie aliens with their crazy Dark City experiments they're doing here.
Imma convinced Tassie is an artificial island constructed by these aliens and the landmass is contained within a space-time bubble that's different from the rest of the earth plane.

 

Stew making time.
Last batch I made, totally forgot to soak the beans, thus beanless stew...I'm okay, I survived that traumatic experience.

Totally remembered to soak 'em this time, but on same day after coming back from the shops, totally forgot to buy all the other ingredients. Now Sunday, and planned to make this stew day, but last night, totally forgot to defrost mince.

FFFFUUUUUUUUU...˜joyful laughter˜

I suspect this ongoing forgetfulness is subconsciously connected to Coffee Law, for one law states that if in the village, one has to have a coffee, thus every time I forget to grab something from the shops, I have to drive back in again, thus have another coffee.

There's always a postive to be found and utilised in negative situations.
˜sips coffee˜

 

Took the day off cause tired. Been thinking about the ending to the last chunk,
and wondering if set up in the last 1000-ish words and then leaving the rest up
to the reader to infer from context what happens afterwards.

So in a way for me this is my version of the: Less is more
debate I am having now, though I feel it would be far too
boring to drag it into overtime by filling in what can clearly
be left up to the imagination.

IDK, is less more when it comes to the more gruesome slow down spots?

 

Just finished submitting my first ever story for publication. And now I don't know how to feel. My palms are sweaty, and my heart is hammering a little hard. I feel light-headed and fleet of foot. There are bright spots dancing before my eyes. Is all this normal?

 

Missing my taste buds and writing. Throat no longer hurts, but my body is still wonky. Head feels ready to explode, yet, I have to write out this fever dream for future use. Mostly finished now.

 

Enjoying joining the darkside. I've been working at it all day.

Spoiler

Most of my kitchen stuff. I also have one drawer for utensils. I store the toaster in the cupboard, as it's only occasional use, and my grill doesn't work.


My now Kitchen/Study (with frequently used recipes stuck onto the wall):


You saw my sink yesterday, but now it has a kettle plugged into the corner. Just seemed a more logical place for it.

 

I’m still relaxing from an exciting but happy Saturday. I performed my monologue four times (three rehearsals and one ‘real’ performance in front of five guests we had invited). During the third rehearsal I forgot a whole passage of my text. The only audience present was our teacher. When I looked at him, he was totally relaxed and suddenly I thought ‘It’s ok, nothing bad will happen.’. I remembered the next line and continued. Shortly after that during the real performance I didn’t forget a single line (I probably still have switched one or two words, though ).

I still won’t join a drama club anytime soon, but this feeling of ‘Hey, look at me, I might be nervous, but I can do it anyway!’ is something to treasure.
I hope everyone has a good time.

 

I think so, based on my experiences..and not just for writing.
I've noticed these sensations reduce as confidence in my self increases and external validation decreases.
All soul development occuring within difficult situations + indepth analysis.