Things That Annoy Me, But Shouldn't

In Oklahoma that's called your finger.

 

source

 

Waking up in the middle of the night. I know it shouldn't bother me as I'm an early riser and all, but c'mon! I like waking up at around 3, not 1. D:<

 

Birthdays. That's all.

 

Watch one cat video on Facebook, and you're marked for life.

 

You could always convert to Jehovah's Witness. No more crappy Christmas presents, too.

 

In one of the numerous reboots of Candid Camera, they bought a used VW Bug, topped it most of the way off, then removed the gas cap and everything hook, line and sinker. Totally had a body shop photoshop the whole thing off the car, repainted and everything, then gave it to a lil ol lady to take to full service gas stations, telling the attendants she had just bought it and din't know annnnything about cars....

 

Not nearly as epic, but classic cars that have the cap behind the rear license plate, faux spare tire, or even behind the tail light.

 

I'd always thought that the cap was/should be on the passenger side so that if you ran out of gas, you wouldn't have to stand out in traffic pouring from the can (in the US, anyway).

 

One of those things they never taught us in driver's ed is that there's an arrow on the dash to let you know which side it's on, if you're in an unfamiliar vehicle (or having a senior moment. I just put my phone in my pocket, then panicked because I couldn't find it to put in my briefcase).

 

That's in most of the newer models, but not so many of the older ones.

 

Ah... I went from a 1966 pickup to a 1994 coupe to a bicycle, so my knowledge is extremely spotty.

 

My partner and I both have our own duvets on our bed. We are both cuddly shaped/ sized, and it makes sense.

Sometimes he doesn't put his duvet on straight.

Every night I have to check that the bottom with the poppers/ buttons is at the feet end, so that the pattern on the duvet cover is the right way up.

I actually cannot settle to sleep if his duvet cover is not the right way round.

 

Is a duvet a blow-up doll?

 

noun
British
noun: duvet; plural noun: duvets

1. a soft quilt filled with down, feathers, or a synthetic fiber, used instead of an upper sheet and blankets.

Origin

 

Is it so wrong that I feel soothed reading that definition? I do love my duvet.

I confess, my bed is my safe haven, and even though I'm too old, I sleep with a cuddly sloth which smells to me like amazingness and all the cuddles in the world, but which would probably kill a small herd of livestock if they caught wind of it.

 

'I ain't sharing with no sloth, euch euch. Come find me in the morning, night.'

...

Also historically - 'duvets' heralded in the modern era during that same time zone as 'Star Wars' and the 'Matey' bubble bath, and Pot Noodle.

We fear today, that or how, that there remains a nostalgia for the old sheet and blanket people, and you might find them in our out the way villages.

Sometimes even I have heard how they share their supper together sat surrounding a table, with a board game to come.

For that reason I say to you one day we must organise - with snatch squads for their spectacles and with orders that no family shall eat together ever again. They make me sick with this piety.

'What did you learned at school today, Toby?'

'Fakk off, Mummy.' [FLASHBACK FLASHBACK]

And board games available in our prisons only. Sorry, sorry for politics de-rail. Rickets agony, apols.

 

Two hands on a coffee cup...Wrong!



The correct way.

 

Maybe in California. Up here, some days, it's a necessary frostbite avoidance tactic.

 

My dog does that! Lol