I was thinking about my own personal struggles, and it got me wondering. There is a list of Seven Sins: Lust Pride Envy Sloth Gluttony Greed Wrath What would you say are your worst personal sins? For me, they have changed as I've aged. I think Pride and Sloth are my biggest Sins nowadays.
Of my many faults, love of money isn't one, nor is envy, and my energy is boundless so I can't imagine ever being lazy. But lust gets me every time.
The chief of all sins and the leader of the parade, pride. I am extraordinarily prideful, and am unashamed of it. Other sins are simply derived in lesser versions.
Wrath, but only in tiny ant-sized form. I'm just one little dude with little to no power. It's been rather difficult for me lately to engage the English speaking world - the one of 2018 and 2019, all of it - without having strange, very visual fantasies of these countries slipping beneath the waves. I know, that's horrific. It's disturbing to me too. We're talking about sins here. I'm admitting to mine. The quickly eroding social dynamic in Anglophonia - and the way it dominates the whole of digital life - is making me wish it simply didn't exist.
All of them if I'm honest. I lust after a life that is different than the one I currently have. I pridefully think that I always know the best way to do something, when in truth I don't. I envy the days of my youth when I had so much more energy than I do now. I'm currently sitting on my couch, feet up, covered in a blanket, coughing my brains out. Forced sloth, but sloth nonetheless. I'd probably eat a pizza if I didn't have to leave the couch to go get it. If that isn't a definition of Gluttony and sloth combined, I don't know what is. I can't think of something I'm greedy with, but I know its there. Let me get back to you on that one. Wrath and I are bed partners, some days he wins, some days I do.
Currently? Apparently caring too much. I must have been mistaken when I thought a teacher was meant to care about their pupils. Anyway, but normally my worst vice would be sloth. My poor hubby does everything in the house and he's active with our little girl too. Not sure how he does it but I'm thankful!
In my opinion? Wrath. I’m not a physically violent person, but I learned to conjure up large amounts of rage to override my natural discomfort around interpersonal conflicts. This anxiety made me a real doormat when I was growing up, so I needed to something to replace it with, because if you don’t know how to stand your ground, even otherwise gentle humans may learn to take advantage of you. The problem? Once you get older and more confident, you still have the same defensive anger, without the anxiety to keep a lid on it. Looking at my family, my father’s side seems to admire the occasional explosive outburst or four, and my mother’s relatives are experts at sarcasm, so I think I learned a mixture of both techniques. Nonetheless, it’s something I work to temp, lest I become what I was trying to repel. Plus, when you’re running on male rage, it’s easy to slip into one family tradition that cannot continue: misogyny. Or, at least, a hierarchy-grounded contempt for emotion with much the same result.
Chocolate. It's the sweetest sin around. Oh yeah, pass me some of those chocolates Lucifer. Mm, sinning is winning.
