Okay so I stress out over this so so so much, one of my biggest dreams is to write an actual book and get it published, and I'm a good writer, or at least, that's what everyone I share my work with tells me. And I'm pretty good at thinking out plot details and all that, characters back story, their appearances, personality, the world itself, all of it. But then where I fail is I can never stick with anything. I have some minor OCD, and one of the ways in which it manifests itself, is I am never happy with ANYTHING. I can be for maybe a day, a week, hell, maybe even a month if I'm lucky, but eventually I just start feeling unhappy with everything I've thought up and no matter how much I want to just continue with it, I just, I just can't. And so I start over more or less from scratch all over again. I've been writing now for three years, and the most I've ever managed to get out in my dozens of writing attempts was like 4 chapters. Sometimes I barely get beyond designing the characters before being consumed with need to start over, not liking what I have anymore. I dunno what to do honestly. Sometimes, like now, I just feel at my wits end and honestly I wonder if I should even bother continuing to try.. I want to, I want to so bad, but it just seems so often like I'm just not meant to be a writer.. I dunno...
Allow yourself to be criticised, accept criticism where it is warranted and learn from it, is my only advice.
Perhaps you need an easier first project. A full length novel is much more daunting when you haven't finished anything yet. How about writing some novelettes or novellas? It boils down to have expectations that match reality. You are learning a craft, you aren't a master craftsman yet. So start with smaller projects. Things that are hard, but don't feel impossible. Create a habit of writing daily and stick to it. Force yourself to just write and ignore the urge to edit until you've finished writing the first draft. The only way to significantly improve a story, is to have a story to improve. You can only go so far with plotting, outlines, sketches, and etc.
Perhaps take smaller steps. Instead of jumping into a novel length work, try something shorter. Maybe a short story or poems. There's a lot of different forms of writing. Otherwise, I'd say you have discovered the truth about writing... it's not easy. It's something that takes work. A lot of work. A lot of determination. You need to be able to commit precious time to it and often write even when you don't feel like it. Try analyzing why you stop/can't continue. Is it a hiccup in the story? Is it self-confidence? Personally, I have officially come to the meandering middle of my novel. I know where it's going, have come full circle to the ideas I set in motion chapter 1, but haven't written in the last four days or so. I knew I needed a break. I'll be back to it tomorrow though, because I've made a conscious decision to do so. You may simply be over analyzing your work. Remember your first draft is to get the ideas on paper. NO ONE is happy with their first draft. I suggest you meet the requirements needed to post some work here, and then do so. If you take the time to review some of the work here, you'll not only help out a fellow writer, but you'll also learn a lot about the craft of writing from analyzing other peoples work. Then when you are ready to post, others will be more than willing to return the favor. Best of luck you you.
You have obviously got a problem that might go beyond simple 'writer's doubt.' However, the best way to solve any problem is try a new tactic. Others have suggested you start with something smaller, and that might work. However, your problem seems to be dissatisfaction with whatever you write. That might pop up when you write smaller things as well. I'm wondering if you could try just walking away. By this, I mean, when you hit that point where you dislike what you write, just walk away. DON'T start something else. Instead, wait till you are ready to take another look at the piece you just walked away from. But when you do, instead of deciding how much you hate it, look for ways you can improve it. Figure out what it is you don't like about it—in order for this to work, you need to be specific—and see what you can do. @marshipan is right. Plotting and planning is fine, but if you never finish anything you will never succeed as a writer. That is the harsh truth. If you want to succeed, you do need to find a way to actually finish. But there are tricks.... If you frequently hit an I hate it, this is horrible point in your writing, that's actually more common than you maybe realise. What separates the perpetual wannabes from the writers who do succeed is the willingness to go back and carry on anyway. Lots of ways the forum can help you with tricks to do this, and also with feedback, once you fulfill your full membership and Workshop critique requirements. See New Member Quick Start But ultimately, it's down to you. There is no magic wand.
Write something awful ... meaning don’t pressure yourself into writing something perfect (or even ‘good’), just write something that is COMPLETE. The satisfaction of actually finishing something will spur you own. Trust me, I understand I’ve had something in me for over twenty years that has only seeped out in dribs and drabs. Now I’m just taking on numerous smaller projects and as I finish them it has certainly spurred me on and made me FAR less worried about ruining my main goal. Suffering and enjoyment in writing are necessary companions. Over time you can choose to manage them in a practical manner or just throw your arms up in the air and risk losing your dream forever ... I’d say forming a practical target is the way to start your ascent rather than waiting for a lift.
I had much the same problem and while you may not want to take it as advice (and it isn't advice) what I did to solve the problem was... give up. I had to be honest with myself and accept that while the talent was - maybe possibly with a lot of honing - there, the dedication, discipline and desire certainly was not. Luckily I found poetry and enjoy writing that far more than I ever did general fiction. Even then I had to change my outlook and very quickly gave up any idea of writing anything of publishable quality. I write poetry when the mood takes me - which has been hardly ever of late.
Well, if it makes you feel any better, I wanted to play shortstop for the Boston Red Sox. That clearly didn't happen. And then I wanted to play lead guitar for Guns n Roses, but they already had that Slash guy, so....
The problem that I see so often is that you have people who desperately want to be writers, but they really don't like writing. Writing isn't easy. It might be one of the hardest things to do and certainly, one of the hardest things to get good at. It takes years of dedication and hard work. It takes the ability to push through and finish books. If you don't finish, you're not a writer. People make lots of excuses for why they don't finish, but those are just excuses. Excuses don't matter, only the end product does. You need to decide if you've got the passion and the drive necessary to be a writer, or if you just like the idea of having a book on a shelf. They are not the same thing.
Yes, writing is a skill you learn like any other, Too many people imagine it is just talent, but it is talent and training.
DahliaRose... I'm autistic. It makes some things more difficult but it also gives me something most people don't have. I have decided to use my autism as a resource, not as an obstacle. And after that to... 1. Ok. Do it. Write a book worth publishing. 2. It's not about are you happy or not. It's about is the manuscript worth publishing or not. You are not it's target group. That means your happiness is partly irrelevant. Writing is rewriting. If you want to be a writer, you are going to be a rewriter. Sometimes you must write some raw material before starting a first draft. Raw material is for nobody. It is for writing. First draft is often called Shitty First Draft, SFD. It is for you. It's called shitty because it is meant to be bad. You can't make it better if you don't make it at all. You should make it from start to the end before correcting it or making it better or even evaluating it. Second draft is for your imaginary readers. It does not mean is should be good enough for them. It means there should be things they like. Third draft is for your haters. It does not mean it should please them. It means you take away things they could use against you. Fourth draft is for your beta readers. This is first time you can evaluate is it good enough or not. And now you get feedback And you use that feedback to make fifth draft a lot better. And you use that feedback to make your own evaluations about your texts better. And then you write your fifth draft. Don't delete anything before fifth draft is ready. If your text is shit, it's good for the growth of the next crops. If you can't make it better now, you might be able to do it after 5-10 years. Print everything. Don't delete printed drafts before next draft is ready and printed. If you wan't to become a writer, you must learn to become a rewriter. You don't write books. You write drafts. Some publisher might decide to print your manuscript some day. In printing process it transforms to a book. That publisher does not decide to print something because author thinks it's good or bad. He publishes sellable books. That means that there should be a big bunch of people who think the value of that books is greater than the value of the money they must pay.
One way or another I end up hating everything I do. Sometimes I hate myself. Sometimes "really not liking writing" is just that; really not liking the act of writing. I'd like to think I was an exceptional soccer player who could've gone onto play in college had that been something I wanted. Yeah, there were times I hated the game because my teammates didn't work together in high-school and our team was the worst in the league every year, and I hated losing which sometimes made me hate playing the sport since all we did was lose for two years (a stark contrast to my glorious days playing travel soccer), but that had nothing to do with why I decided to stop and pursue other things. If there are temporary times where writing is really frustrating and you can't stand anything that you're doing and want to put your head through a wall, take a break or push through it. Not being totally in love with something 24/7 is hardly a standard to use when deciding to pursue anything. It's ridiculous to suggest otherwise. You'll never like something all of the time, and it will never be easy all of the time, and you certainly won't be good at it all of the time. In fact, I read an entire book by Steven Pressfield - the War of Art - that makes the opposite claim. If you're running into the demons of dissatisfaction and frustration and all other forms of what he refers to as "Resistance", you're actually on the right path. That's been more true in my life than anything else. The vast majority of things and experiences that would be good for me, are usually what I want to run away from. Or at best, something is holding me back. Whether that be taking cough medicine when I was 5 or eating healthier or moving out of the house.
Why do you want to be a writer? I mean you say you want this "so bad," but don't seem to want to do the work to make it happen. If all this does is cause you stress, do you really want to do it? Because even if you finish a book, getting it picked up by a publisher is a whole different game. And finding an agent and/or publisher is going to be more stressful. Most writing is rejected. So, there are no reassurance that even if you write a book it will be published. I write far more than I publish. That's just how it works most of the time. It seems like you don't really enjoy the process of writing. And I can't imagine you spent too much time writing in the last three years or you probably would have gotten farther or decided that writing is not for you long before three years went by. Also, is there a difference between an "actual book" and a book? Anyone can come up with ideas, but not everyone puts in the time and effort to becoming a writer. Writing is work just like any other job. If you really do want this, there is nothing stopping you. Writing is a choice. So is not writing.
It's more nuanced than I made it out to be. There are a couple times where Pressfield makes the claim that one can, by way of cognitive reframing, realize that Resistance is a good indicator of what you need to be doing. Like if Jack Sparrow's compass always pointed the opposite direction from what he desired. This isn't some scientific book. Your experience may differ. Somebody else might be typing some pettifog right now, "Well uh ackshually, there'sss no shuch theeng as Rezisstince-" He more or less talks about the many forms that "Resistance" can take. Procrastination. Fear. Distraction. How it can take over every aspect of your life until you stagnate, and then decline. It will always look to take the easy way out. Always seek expediency. Avoid challenge, and therefore growth. It will manifest rationally or irrationally. It's the general force that keeps one from doing what they need to be doing. Bettering their career, pursuing their calling, doing a good deed, being responsible, growing morally or spiritually or strengthening their body. So if we accept that that is even just *generally* true, not scientifically true, one might imagine how Resistance is a "good thing" in that it's a sign we're on the right path (if we agree that all those things I listed are believed to be good in nature). Of course, if you conceptualize Resistance as a bad thing in your life, obviously you'll come to the opposite conclusion. If every day writing your dream novel is an absolute cake walk, you love every single day of work so much that you're the type of person who says "I've never worked a day in my life", you don't struggle with any sort of addiction, you're so good with handling delayed gratification that you don't even have to eat because you live off of the sun and oxygen, you have no fears or doubts rational or otherwise, you never procrastinate because you always feel like doing the things you want to do exactly when you want to do them, and you'd go dig wells for poor kids in Africa if you suddenly woke up from a nap and it sounded like a good idea, then I guess Resistance would have to default to keeping you from doing bad things. That's the only explanation as to how one's life could run like such a well-oiled machine; a type of person who'd actually have to go out of their way and put extra effort into doing something amoral, let alone immoral. A type of person who literally experiences zero, nada, zilch, resistance when doing the things they need to do on a daily basis, or the things that they want to do for that matter. They want to do something and they just magically do it. But I'm yet to meet a single human being who functions like that. (i.e. I was using "you" in the general sense; not literally you). Not saying they don't exist; Tony Robbins seems like that type of guy. Elon Musk. Bill Gates. Any human being I've personally met either has depression or they procrastinate or their love life is a disaster or they're afraid to leave their job because the "Devil you know" is better, they devour stress in the form of glazed donuts and ice-cream, they feed their anxiety cigarettes and beer, they're perpetually tired unless they use methamphetamine or its legal cousin caffeine, take pills for every single one of their problems (can't focus, can't sleep, can't keep it up, can't stay awake, can't be happy, can't afford to eat healthy), or every night they go to bed dreaming of who they could be but they wake up and one of the dominoes was too far away again so everything didn't fall into place and they say "maybe tomorrow" until tomorrow finally brings a burial and they never amounted to anything but average at best and roll in their grave of immense regret. I can't speak for the creator of this thread, but I relate to some of what the OP described, except it manifests in every aspect of my life. Maybe not in exactly the same way, but this "Resistance" as it has been nicknamed permeates my every waking moment. It doesn't matter what I do, unless it's a downward trajectory or plateau. My soul wants greatness but everything in my body wants unfulfilling mediocrity. The issues with writing are just a microcosm, 999/1000 times. Typing this long-winded response was 1000x easier and 1000x faster than finally finishing this rough draft of an article about "3 Things We Can Learn from Hemingway's Writing Process". Explain that to me, when you consider that me finishing that article is imperative if I want to have even a chance of building something successful on Medium, which would carry with it monetary benefits and would take me closer to my goal of writing as a career, and would - I hope - be of some benefit to others like myself who wish to actually learn from the greats, not just read the same 10 or 12 quotes by them on internet lists. This conversation with you, while you are a perfectly lovely person to talk to, benefits me in practically no long-term way. And it remains to be seen if you'll take away anything of value from this either. Yet I probably wrote TWICE as much here, in TWO TENTHS OF THE TIME. Explain it to me. If I seem absurdly aggravated, it's not at you. Everything I've been ranting about in this post is incredibly personal to me. I was just drawn to this thread like a cow to a UFO. Seemingly on queue, Darkness my old friend has returned and put me in an incredibly foul state of being. Oh, somehow I made this thread about me. Sorry. Time to leave! Hilariously flagrant but one of the first things you read in Pressfield's book is that it was easier for Hitler to start the Second World War than it was to fulfill his dreams of becoming a painter.
The way you're approaching things -- writing a bit then starting over on a new idea -- isn't necessarily bad. Writing anything makes you a better writer. If an idea isn't going anywhere, or isn't interesting anymore, then you don't have to keep writing on it. Write what you want to write. Don't doubt yourself so much. Keep going and you'll eventually be able to write better, longer works. Just make sure you're writing something.
It sounds like the resistance are things we have to fight through. You should check out the intro of The Alchemist. It is this essay about the five reasons people don't reach their true potential and follow their calling. I love that essay, and when I owned a cop of the book I read it often. Good things often come with a struggle to get them. I do understand that. But with writing or anything else we have to push through the resistance, fight the setbacks. When we truly want something we have to fight for it. I spent years writing fiction and failing to publish any of it. Creative work is hard, and there is always going to be someone who makes it look easier than it is or is just better even with less effort. I quickly realized if I wanted a shot at this I had to get the dedication and work ethic down. I had to write like crazy and do it often. And trying my hardest didn't make anything magical happen and still nothing came quickly. I've felt like quitting an giving up. Who hasn't? But we all know how much fight we put into writing. And hard work does pay off. To me, it sounded like the OP just wanted to give up because it wasn't easy. Maybe I'm wrong, but a lot can happen in three years. I spent longer than that having everything I wrote rejected. But I became a better writer. I became the kind of writer with stories that would eventually sell. I had to writ a whole bunch of bad stuff to be able to write anything good. There wasn't a way around it for me. That's sort of why I question how much writing has taken place over the last three years. Maybe the OP can't fight the so-called resistance, but I don't see a way around that if someone truly wants to be a writer. And writing a novel is an obtainable goal. Publishing it could be a different story. You could write a page a day and have a book done in a year. Take another year to clean it up and revise it. That doesn't seem so impossible. I'm not trying to make things sound easier than they are. Writing is hard and work. It's not something everyone's cut out for or has what it takes. But those of us who make it find ways to fight the resistance and anything else in our way. A writing routine. A daily or weekly word count goal. These are things a lot of writers use to help themselves keep going and actually produce works. Failing to stick with story is a choice. Wanting to be a writer for years without doing much writing is a choice. Writing a novel a week is a choice. These aren't the easiest choices, but I believe we decide our level of dedication. There are always going to be roadblocks. It's how we handle them that matters.
If I can give you some advise, or two? First, maybe therapy might help with the OCD part of your problem? This could have benefits for you beyond your writing. Secondly, have you tried discovery writing? Try not to plan anything and just write and keep writing until the story ends? That what your first draft fulfils the function an outline would have, but you may be able to get further? Good luck, J
If not getting treatment for OCD and you have the ability to do so, do so. If you haven't the ability to find treatment, I've found setting rules for how well versions come out helped me get things done. So a first draft, not good. Second draft, kind of good. Third draft, alright. and so on until we reach the final draft at decent enough. That way I never get trapped in trying for perfection because the rules stop me from trying for it. It's a way to control how your OCD manifests, you set the parameters and then your OCD has to fulfil them. It might take a bit to get it to work the way you want but it works.
@Alan Aspie, I think I will frame your reply as some of the best advice ever given to aspiring writers! @DahliaRose, I started about three books, before I finished the first, and that one took 20 years. Getting started is good, writing it is good, and setting it aside for a bit can be good, especially if you are young. Me, I am 71, so there is a bit more urgency about finishing things than there was when I was in my 30s and 40s. Take your time. I find it helpful to actually tell myself how great the story is while I am writing it, visualizing people really loving it. It is a motivational tool that keeps me going, not vanity, and certainly not a willingness to overlook the writing's faults. I apply the same rule to my professional engineering tech writing. As a general rule, I never backtrack to revise the story line before the first draft is finished. It will bring me to a total halt, like pouring cold water on my inspiration. I have found that visualizing success is the key to achieving it. I will share a painful moment in my life. I wanted to be a Navy pilot more than anything (except becoming an astronaut, which was why I wanted to be a Navy pilot). In the training command, we had to do each day's flight a particular set of maneuvers to the instructor's satisfaction, usually with the instructor yelling and occasionally slamming the back of your helmet with his metal knee-pad. Well, you do have to learn to tune out such things, as the enemy will certainly attempt to break your focus too, and he is trying to kill you, the instructor is not. The night before, I would sit in my BOQ room, and completely visualize the next day's maneuvers, the feel of the stick, the sound of the engine, the view outside, moving my feet against the non-existent rudder pedals... a complete mental simulator ride. And it worked, I had good flight grades flying the T-28 Trojan, the poor man's P-51, a powerful piston powered aircraft on a par with a lower-grade WW11 fighter. One day, after mentally visualizing the next day's maneuver, a formation lead change, I went to bed and had a nightmare, my backing into the prop of the plane behind me as I changed lead. Very realistic, the shuddering of the aircraft, pieces flying off. And the next day, I damned near did just that. Got a down for that flight, a day off, did a successful lead change on a warmup flight, then did the same screw-up on the recheck flight. This being the Vietnam end-of-war draw down, that was the end of the road for my pilot aspirations. I went on in a slightly different direction to a dynamite Navy career in aviation. Bottom line, don't second-guess yourself. Visualize success, and if you put the effort in, success will come. And if it is hard, that is when it is most worth doing.
Can you remember someone having criticized you excessively in distant past so you got discouraged? (Such as your parents.)
Thank you. Almost nothing in that writing is originally my own. Most of it is from other, more experienced and successful authors, agents, publishers, story doctors... I just repeated what they have said. I must add one thing... I think it is very harmful for wanna-be writers (like me and many others) to hear that they are good. Let's say that 27 people say that I'm good... If I make a mistake to believe them, I will be in serious trouble. I write. And I read what I have written. Well.. Not excellent, not even good. And everyone tells I'm good. Shame. I must delete it to protect my false identity as a good writer. How could I enjoy writing? How could I develop myself? I am supposed to be good already, not someone in the beginning of hard learning. I'm supposed to be a master, not a pupil. That is an awful situation. But... In Formula 1 world there is a saying: "You are only as good as your last race." Did I finish my manuscript? Was it good? The level of my achievement is the level of my skills. Did someone publish my writing? Do people use they own money and time so that they can read your writing? Do you have a queue of wanna-be beta readers? Nobody is what others tell. Nobody should believe what he hears. Everybody is as good as his or her last race. And that means that succeeding is not dependent about what you are but what and how much you do to get better. Everyone can develop skills. But it's hard to chance what you are.
Good certainly doesn't mean 'perfect.' But, unless it's said either halfheartedly, because somebody can't be bothered pointing out what doesn't work, or by somebody who is just trying to bolster ego, it can mean people actually liked what they read. Lots of times, it's said like, it's really good, BUT.... Good, when it's honestly meant, doesn't mean there isn't room for improvement, but it can mean you're on the right track. Some people are quite enervated when they get that assessment. They are encouraged, and want to make 'good' even better. Others, may decide that good DOES mean perfect, and they stop trying to improve—maybe before they should. And there are those who lack self confidence. When they are told something isn't good, or needs work, they can completely lose faith in themselves,. They feel they already did the best they could and it seems it wasn't good enough. They lose heart and decide it's not worth pursuing. I don't believe there is a one-size-fits-all when it comes to motivating a writer to do better. Personally, I favour the 'it's good, but...' approach. I try to say what I liked about the piece, and then point out things that can be improved. I think deep down that's what most of us want to hear, when we post our writing for critique, isn't it? Nobody wants to hear that their writing is a total loss. But they do want to hear what can be improved, I reckon.
