Things That Annoy Me, But Shouldn't

Remakes of old classics

 

Me. I'm annoiding myself again.

 

Doing that now, though in Tall Boy form.

 

Travel photos from your friends of them standing next to a Yosemite park sign.
I don’t want to see the sign—show me the Ansel Adam’s shot.

 

Not my business, I guess, but are there really that many people dumb enough to ask their doctors to prescribe a drug they saw advertised on television?

 

Use two bags.

I’m not a tea drinker, but too much coffee gives me the shits and I do enjoy a nice CoT now and again.

 

With instant coffee, it's no wonder. I used to use that stuff to develop film.

 

Define the ‘real thing’. Coffee habits have always facsinated me.

Ah never mind. I see you elaborated in your reply to Dapper.

That aroma when you pop the seal on a new tin of instant is wonderful! I’ve never smoked, but when I inhale that aroma, I feel like I really ‘get’ nicotine addiction.

 

The continued use of an honorific when addressing or referring to a former dignitary (President Obama, Secretary Clinton, Coach Cowher). The rule of etiquette is: when you no longer hold the office or position, you no longer rate the title.

 

Bradford Pears. Don't plant these. Don't even admire them. They're crotch-angled, break instantly, in the wild they're thorned and they smell like ruined cheese when they bloom.

Also think before planting stuff like Heavenly Bamboo. Pretty red berries? Yeah, they have prussic acid and can be deadly to any tot that things they look yummy.

-SIN

 

I agree with most of that, but I was under the impression that the presidency never really left you. Still entitled to Secret Service protection, still get to read the President's Daily Briefing (in an appropriately secured space, I assume), that sort of thing.

 

when people ask why i dont have kids/assume i have kids/ ask "you got any kids?"


..........

 

its all about the eggnogg, my friend

 

Like when people ask why I'm still single. A: I never said I was, and B: what's it to you?

 

I'm shocked and appalled at how personally you guys take the comments of others who are simply interested in the paucity of your clearly inferior existence. I mean, isn't there a way to be nosy and presumptuous without you taking offense? Jeez.

-SIN

 

"What are you asking me that for? You writing a book?"

"Well, um.. yeah."

 

When I feel like replying to such people, I usually say something like, "When I die, my negative effect on the Earth's ecosystem will end. Your whelps, and their whelps, and their whelps, will continue to pollute the planet ad infinitum, you Earth-hating breeder."

 

People who pronounce the "H" in the word "vehicle".

 

My wedding. Wonderful ceremony, joyful times with the wife. Good memories. However, we didn't have that one drunk Uncle or Aunt causing a scene. That's usually the best part.

 

This is why there should be a service called Rent-a-Drunk, for those occasions when you need one but don't happen to have one in your social circle. Business opportunity, you old soused ne'er-do-wells!