The Happiness Thread

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Cogito, Nov 20, 2010.

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  1. Iain Aschendale

    Iain Aschendale Lying, dog-faced pony Marine Supporter Contributor

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    I remember reading about a sort of charitable exchange run primarily for veterans who had lost limbs. It was set up so that someone could exchange the shoe they no longer needed (if they were going for the strictly functional look in their prostheses) for another of the side that they did. Depressing, but probably very useful.
     
  2. Dogberry's Watch

    Dogberry's Watch Contributor Contributor Contest Winner 2023 Contest Winner 2022

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    I didn't have that many pairs of shoes till I started working in a bank and they don't let me wear my actually functional shoes. I got heels for the first time in my life and I hate them. I feel like a reindeer with two legs.

    EDIT: Also, those blue boots are fucking beautiful and I'd wear them myself. well, I'd get my own pair... don't wanna ... wear your shoes...
     
  3. big soft moose

    big soft moose An Admoostrator Admin Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

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    unless you are a caterpillar, probably
     
  4. Iain Aschendale

    Iain Aschendale Lying, dog-faced pony Marine Supporter Contributor

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    Which blue ones, the suede Docs? They were discontinued, last pair in the store, and in my size.

    My first-ever pair of Dr. Martens, thirty years after I really wanted them but didn't have the money.

    The other blue ones, the wingtips, were also discontinued. Allen Edmonds Cronmoks.
     
  5. EFMingo

    EFMingo A Modern Dinosaur Supporter Contributor

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    Quiet damn it! I'm a flamingo, not a bug! *shuffles feet around in flamingo suit for a more comfortable position*
     
  6. Dogberry's Watch

    Dogberry's Watch Contributor Contributor Contest Winner 2023 Contest Winner 2022

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    I'm heartbroken.

    Wait, this is the happy thread... I'm not heartbroken, I'm housebroken!
     
  7. flawed personality

    flawed personality Contributor Contributor

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    [​IMG]
     
  8. GrahamLewis

    GrahamLewis Seeking the bigger self Contributor Contest Winner 2023 Contest Winner 2022

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    I can't help think about all the time you took to rummage through the closet, pull out all the shoes, sort out one of each, line them up, shoot the photo, and then reverse the process. The school where you teach must be on break.
     
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  9. Naomasa298

    Naomasa298 HP: 10/190 Status: Confused Contributor

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    I actually only have one foot (well, one-and-a-third-feet), but they don't sell single shoes. I just wear NHS footwear. Very classy.

    Anyway, I finally came up with a plot for my next short story. Happy! Been struggling to find something that isn't just a pastiche of some other story for ages.
     
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  10. Naomasa298

    Naomasa298 HP: 10/190 Status: Confused Contributor

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    Wait, are you a furry? Or a feathery?
     
  11. Some Guy

    Some Guy Manguage Langler Supporter Contributor

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    Phur, Phins, or Pheathers.
     
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  12. flawed personality

    flawed personality Contributor Contributor

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    I spoke to my mum today on my way home. I decided to ring her on a whim, and she answered. We spoke for about an hour until my battery gave out (I was on the bus). :supersmile:
    Prior to this, we hadn't spoken in 2 years, I think.
     
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  13. Homer Potvin

    Homer Potvin A tombstone hand and a graveyard mind Staff Supporter Contributor

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    New record for a restaurant manager for Homer. Started at noon, fired at 7pm. On his first day! I include this under The Happiness Thread because laughter is the only defense mechanism I have left.
     
  14. EstherMayRose

    EstherMayRose Gay Souffle Contributor

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    What happened?
     
  15. Homer Potvin

    Homer Potvin A tombstone hand and a graveyard mind Staff Supporter Contributor

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    We uncovered a pattern of bad behavior in previous jobs. Bosses missed it initially but one of my bartenders worked with him previously. We did some digging and, yeah, it escalated very quickly. Three other GMs who weren't listed on his resume essentially said, "Don't hire this guy under any circumstances." No ambiguity or evasive language.
     
  16. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll It's Coffee O'clock everywhere. Contributor

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    @Homer Potvin I'll just assume it went down like this. :p
    [​IMG]
     
  17. Iain Aschendale

    Iain Aschendale Lying, dog-faced pony Marine Supporter Contributor

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    Never seen anyone get fired that fast, but I have seen a quicker resignation. When I was first in Japan, the school that I worked at was also a training branch. New hires got three days of OJT, but the first day they just learned the basic patterns, not actually teaching yet.

    One of the mainstays of conversational language learning is the role play. "Okay, in this, you'll pretend to be a clerk at a convenient store, and I'll be a customer who's trying to find out where the canned juice is."

    Pretty basic, but Jeffty (I have no idea what his name was, I'm just calling him that) put a twist on things:

    "Okay, in this, you'll pretend to be a clerk at a convenient store--"

    "I can't do that."

    "What?"

    "I can't do that, I'm not a clerk."

    "Well, no, but this is just about giving directions, you don't need to have had actual experience working at a 7-11 or anything."

    "No, that's not the problem."

    "Soo, what is the problem? Would you rather we set it in a department store? Pretty much the same language patterns..."

    "No. See, I'm a Christian*."

    "Oookay?"

    "And the Bible teaches us not to lie. I can't say I'm some sort of clerk when I'm not, that would be lying."

    "....." "Umm, well, it's not lying, you're not trying to mislead anyone, you're just teaching people the language skills they might need in everyday situations."

    "I'm sorry, I can't."

    "It's part of the job. It's a big part of the job, actually, it's the Application where students get to test out the language they learned earlier in the lesson."

    "Then... I don't think I can do this job if I'm going to have to tell lies all the time. Sorry."


    And thus ended Jeffty's three hour career teaching English as a foreign language. No idea what happened to him after that.

    *note: I don't consider Jeffty to have been a representative Christian. I think "worthless bloody loony" is a better description. Maybe he had a bad experience in the Christmas pageant or something, I dunno.
     
  18. Dogberry's Watch

    Dogberry's Watch Contributor Contributor Contest Winner 2023 Contest Winner 2022

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    I had a guy who consistently came in practically swimming in booze, and he never got fired, until one day he left work and was picked up in the parking lot out back by the cops. Dude was so trashed, his ass was in the air and he was still in his apron from work. Never made it to his bike.

    Because he didn't have a license and wasn't allowed to drive.

    Working in restaurants is fun. Sometimes I miss it. But mostly I don't.
     
  19. Homer Potvin

    Homer Potvin A tombstone hand and a graveyard mind Staff Supporter Contributor

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    Yeah, Jeffty's ass had to go. Who knows what kind of damage he would have done if he hung around?

    It's different in the restaurant business. Everyone is a drunk or an addict or an ex con. We don't even bat an eyelash at the stories anymore. This chef overdosed in a bathroom. Or this manager got fired for taking a dump in the coatroom. Whatever... can they run an expo line and comprehend basic labor and liquor cost models?
     
  20. Some Guy

    Some Guy Manguage Langler Supporter Contributor

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    o_O
     
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  21. Earp

    Earp Contributor Contributor

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  22. big soft moose

    big soft moose An Admoostrator Admin Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

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    we can top that

    had a guy hired into a cleansing operative job - started at 8am... 3/4 of an hour later he was seen sat on a park bench swigging from a bottle of bud (drinking alcohol during work hours is gross misconduct at my employer)

    by 9.30 he was out the door.
     
  23. Naomasa298

    Naomasa298 HP: 10/190 Status: Confused Contributor

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    At one of my old jobs, we had a guy, started in the morning on his first day. He had a conversation with another starter and found out the other guy was being paid more for the same job. He went to lunch and never came back.

    Thing is, he was being paid exactly what he asked for...
     
  24. EFMingo

    EFMingo A Modern Dinosaur Supporter Contributor

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    We have this sort of problem at my work. The pay is highly negotiable, and some people just aren't that great at negotiating. Some experienced guys get real frustrated when a newer guy comes in boasting of pay near or equal to theirs, and end up raising such a stink that they usually get bumped up in pay just to shut them up. The problem for managers here is, there are so few field service engineers who understand and can handle transmission electron microscopes, that virtually anyone over six months isn't fire-able. The cost of training, and the few slots being open for months at a time make the positions super hard to fill. So the engineers usually have the upper hand. Pays to be in a rare field.
     
  25. Dogberry's Watch

    Dogberry's Watch Contributor Contributor Contest Winner 2023 Contest Winner 2022

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    ...... literally.

    I'm sorry, I wasn't going to, but then I had to.

    --

    I submitted three of the five of the last documents I needed to for my pre-approval on a home loan, and now I'm just waiting to hear back from the guy and then I'll contact the lawyer. Wait... not lawyer. Landlord? No... REALTOR, jesus on the phone, that was awful. I really should stop trying to be awake.

    I also have a tattoo appointment on Saturday for my right upper thigh piece. It's going to be a cross between a Kraken and Cthulu fighting a pirate ship. I'm pretty much ready for everything to be done this week so I can get that done. I've been waiting since my birthday last year to get it. I couldn't get the day off because of how new I was at my job, so I bumped it back to December, then the artist was double-booked, so now I'm getting it Saturday. Confirmed the appointment on Monday, so now all I gotta do is be patient (LAWLS).
     
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