I can only assume I must be in hell's waiting room, as I endlessly sew a gift for my soon to be 8 year old. Why did I decide to do this again?
Painkillers bore me, so I ate some "chocolate" to help ease the pain. Will also be raiding the kitchen very soon. Wife is going to make some kind of pasta and roasted veggies, so I expect to inhale most of that while looking for extra food stuffs. The deity of munchies commands me.
Watching Puffins try and mate. Resting off work atm, it`s been almost two or three hours but I`m still resting lmao. Work went smoothly enough but still..but idk... schedule slammed me hard. Working the rest of the week and the weekend then Mon/Tues off and back on until Thursday at least. I just gotta survive and get through the month. Came into the month strong, but hit a major motivation slump lately. Stuff`s been piling up and the one project I was working on I kinda....let fall through the cracks...which...I kinda hate but...I just got overwhelmed. Took MLK day as a snow day, at first I did want to do some volunteer work for it then that switched to just visiting with people at the nursing home mother works at and seeing if I could help out again at the gym. I ended up taking a snow day instead and sleeping most of the day. Which was fine, the weather was bad and I needed that in a way but it still makes me feel guilty. I want to do more in the community and I am very communitarian in thought but I just...can`t. Like my favorite Pat the Bunny song goes I`m a failure at everything I say I believe, I let my exhaustion consume me, I try to keep up with everything I know I should do but it all falls to pieces anyways, and I don`t know why I am this way. I`ve been like this for forever. Me and my old roleplaying friends were venting in the Discord the other night and we all seem to be hitting a mid-month slump. Gonna try and dig myself up and out for the end of the month though. This video came out, at a perfect time. It`s late already but I do want to try and get a few things done. Not sure what type of planks to do, I have snack food here but I don`t feel like making real food so that might be less reward more dinner. It could be a game of Gwent after I get so much done but then it`ll be late, so idk. Maybe I`ll just use the urgency one. I need to at least replay to my therapist and try and slap out the Buddhism paper. We`ll see if any of that actually happens.
I used to listen to Supertramp all weekend when I was a kid visiting my dad. My mom has two masters degrees in classical music (she'd put quotation marks around it since "Classical" is an era and not a genre to her), so I got my love of all things classical from her, and then an education in rock and roll from my dad. Plus a few other things on the side. I wish I could explain better how much music means to me, but then I'll sound like an emo Myspace girl all over again and I just can't give in to that side of me any more. I vowed I was done being cliche about music once MCR came back. --- I'm in an oddly talkative mood and yet I don't really want to talk. You couldn't tell from the rambling I've done on here tonight. But now I'm going to be a good little adult and take my heart meds and go to bed. Stupid work in the morning.
Got lost in Martian Transporter, trying to find the place where I can buy a different hover car thing.
Can't even drive....bah! Wife caught me trying to go downstairs, just cause I wanted to drive her to work, but alas, driving be impossible for this lad. Good thing I parked in a semi-safe section. Semi-safe since the local hoodlums could break in and find that chocolate glazed doughnut left just under my seat. Staying home for this long is killing me. O_O
Waiting for an Amazon delivery. Should work out, but they can be here any minute and I'm not sure I'll hear from our home gy... I mean guest room.
Experiencing ennui. Waiting for something wonderful to happen. Unwilling to bestir myself in such a way as to cause wonderful things to happen. Caught in a maelstrom of laziness. Yawn. Bleaah. I sure hope the phone doesn't ring.
Dp I thought the not for the faint of heart was a joke...it wasn`t ...that`s...that`s...euphoric... OT: Watching Internet Today and wishing time wasn`t a thing. Work went....not well...but it`s over now. D0n`t know how I`ll make it to Monday honestly. After work, went out for some pizza...which ended up being disappointing. I would have much preferred to just get the pizza and come home but ended up eating it there which....just wasn`t comfortable...I don`t really like being out. Finally replied to my therapist last night, still need to do the paper on the Buddhas diagnosis but it`s already...past nine. Didn`t get much sleep last night due to some stuff going on don`t know if I want another late night but if I puh it off until tomorrow night that's the same thing I did with it last night I don`t know. Need to pull back a bit and do some rearranging to save myself from overextending here. Try to rest and get back on a sleep schedule tonight, tomorrow's the New Moon try and come straight home on the paper. Americorps application, poetry, the script, and etc can be put on hold for next month. After that need to work on some other light things but it should be light in the tunnel. Still wanna go see 1917 before it leaves theaters. Get through tomorrow then home stretch of wrapping things up. Still nothing back on the Medium piece from the friend which...a piece about starting new in the new decade...kinda don`t want to post it in February. If she can`t, might post it up as is. I`m really only worried about my...sloppiness...cropping up and she was just gonna do typos and clarity. Could find someone else to do a one quick one over, not sure. The tail end of January is kinda scary all things considered.
It's uncomfortably quiet in the house, and I usually start spooking myself when that happens, so I'm going to pass out to some Forensic Files. I'm going to remember to set an alarm tonight because I didn't last night and the only reason I made it to work on time is because my bladder woke me up. Been in a weird funk all day long because of it. Oh well. Tomorrow is the last day in the way of my tattoo appointment on Saturday and I tell you what. I'm ready to be in one spot for ten hours.
Speaking of sitting in one spot for ten hours, I drove ten hours for work today, which was super not fun. I'm finally home, and completely dead. LA Korean food is worth it at least.
........? I fear that one day, Pat Boone will awaken from his coma and we will have to introduce him to planet Earth. We will explain concepts like daytime and nighttime and gravity and dogs and wheels and hot stoves and humidity. Rhythm. Geopolitics. Jalapenos. And gradually, over time, Pat Boone will begin to realize that his entire body of work is simply unacceptable. It violates physical law. We will return him to the Negative Zone and there will be much rejoicing.
I dunno, it's a weird kind of satire that I can almost appreciate. But then I always wanted to hear Motorhead cover this: and Marilyn Manson take this one on: topped off by a Snoop Dogg version of: Probably only because I hate song covers so much.
You sound retired, haha. Lots of lazy hours. Embrace it. As for me, I'm still a psycho chaos junkie. Only happy at mach 2 with my hair on fire. Maybe you can loan me some ennui.
"Eating Capt'n Crunch and listening to Supertramp" - is that what you do for Breakfast in America? ETA - ooh, just noticed this is my thousandth post! Happy with that (c:
"Boy, I came here to eat Cap'n Crunch and listen to Supertramp, and I'm all out of Cap'n Crunch." Somehow doesn't sound so threatening, does it?
Wasting time again after work. Today was....not a great workday....but tomorrow should be a stayover day and the less then great supervisor won`t be there so yippie. Worked late one of the only two people there that late and...I don`t like that....my feelings of inadequacy arent helped there. Came home ate some still disappointing the second time pizza and fed the misfits. Pupper`s are gonna need kibble tomorrow and that`ll probably be a good time to pick up some foodstuffs. Making plans to clean up the kitchen, try and start some meal prepping, and trying out that tuna lasagna recipe. Kinda went straight into the getting sucked into the youtube rabbit hole once I sat down. Still have the Buddhism paper, and finally got the edits back so that to do tonight. My sleep schedules already fucked up why not mess it up some more before fixing it. May pull back from online stuff to focus more. Idk, at least I got to see that cute Rite Aid clerk today.
I ordered Domino's pizza tonight on purpose for the first time in a while and I remembered why I never eat there. I had a gift card, otherwise I wouldn't have bothered. Gave the delivery kid a big ol' tip though because I was in a weird mood and felt like the world needed better energy than what I was currently giving it. I feel like I just sucked off a garlic bulb and it's uncomfortable. Goodnight, writing friends. Tomorrow I will be stabbed in the best way. By a tattoo gun. ERM SER PERMPED!
I'm wasting time before bed. Star Wars (which I am generally not a fan of) Episode 1: The Phantom Menace (which I am very definitely not a fan of) is on and it's almost 1 am and I'm not motivated to change the channel, and I can feel the Hurricanes of Impending Sleep blowing me towards my Bed of Snug Harbor. Alas, there is a ginger beer to drink before I can retire for the night, so there's that. Maybe I'll watch some YouTube videos or something.