Things you wish authors would stop doing?

Almost nobody has...

A bit more red hair, compared to other places I've lived. But still not all that common. And green eyes? Nope. Certainly not 'emerald' ones. It's a cliché/stereotype for sure.

 

I loved those books, so I will respectfully disagree with you.

 

As I understand there's a lot of crossbreeding, and I'm not talking about cattle (well, maybe them too). I have a friend whose heritage is Scottish and he's got red hair and freckles and I think his eyes are green. He tells me the genes are so intermingled nobody is sure what kind of kilt their ancestors wore. Though maybe he was talking more about his family?

Sorry Jannert, I know it's a stereotype, but at least in his case the evidence is plain to see.

 

If it's of any use, I live in Ireland and in the Midlands at least, they're not very red. The vast majority are brown and boring, I'm afraid. Though I do occasionally get distracted by a stunning redhead.

OT however, I read a book where they killed off the actual dog, and it was utterly horrific and unnecessary. It made me cry, even though I knew nothing of said dog beforehand. The story itself though was pretty damned good, if memory serves.

I totally agree with the OP though. I thought this myself recently, but didn't know how to phrase it. The bad guy is evil simply because he needs to be? Dull, dull, dull. If there must be a bad guy, at least make them interesting in their own right. Give them a conscience, doubt, etc. Not just another 'I'm evil because I can be' character.

 

Mary/Marty Sue feels like an oversimplification, but pretty much any story where a single character is the most competent at all relevant things.

Related somewhat to the Sue: "Hmm my character needs a flaw so my story maintains verisimilitude... oh I know! Socially awkward." No. Stop. "Loner? Just too beautiful?" Stop even more.

Elves.

Also related to the Sue: lazy plot intelligence.
I'm not convinced that the character is intelligent just because he can guess what's going to happen next. At least demonstrate reasonable 'wrong' conclusions as well.

Elves.

Organized religion is entirely bad/oppressive.
It could at least be approached with more nuance. Even if the conclusion is still comes to that, don't be one-dimensional about it.

Frail = best archer(?)

A strong female character can only be one that is completely and absolutely masculine, in all cases.
Well, you'll get good reviews so I won't stop you.

Most of the primary protagonists being writers with drinking problems.
Write what you know has its limits.



I'm just no fun.

 

Subplots that aren't relevant. Please resolve them all, even if it's done offhandedly.

Hero with a dead family or brutally murdered one. There are other ways to make your character an onion.

Authors with a political agenda lecturing the reader. Why can't you be inconspicuous?

Petty/bitter authors. A clear sign is when they rant the description of a character.

 

That's just it. People often asked me if I'm from Ireland because of my red hair, which is odd since I don't have an Irish accent. Then I get asked if I'm Scottish. So I punch them...think that answers their question.

 

Can't just had the plastic surgeon reline my nose.

 

The ever unpleasant: "As you know Bob" crap.
Really it isn't neccessary to remind the reader of
information that gets re-exposited to a character
to inform/re-inform the reader of something.
Not to be confused with information one character
is sharing with another character that doesn't
already know/have that information.

While not as bad as a few sentences, I would say
that a whole dedicated chapter or so to "As you
know Bob", is absolutely a dumpster fire of
incompetence. Give one side of the events or
the other damn it! It is isn't a conversation that
can be interesting to know both sides of it.

 

Had a guy in walmart go on about how he could hear my Irish accent...even though I'm English, and lived there for the first 29 years of my existence. I can only conclude he'd either A) never heard one before, or B) was confused between Irish and English...which sound 0% alike.

 

I had read a study years ago that most people use three features when identifying people: so for example Jim is Tall, brown hair, glasses. Tom is short, bald, red nose. This is why, for example, you'll sometimes hear someone who doesn't know any Asian people say all Asian people look alike, because the three features they will list are brown skin, dark hair, dark eyes.

People tend to make snap judgments based on comparing you to what they know. If they haven't traveled out of country(or even their birth state), haven't learned another language, then to them, Irish, English and Scottish all sound alike because it's never been important to them to identify the differences.

This is why as writers, we should try to expand our own knowledge base, so we can accurately write better, more complete, rounded characters.

 

This was a Walmart in the States? Just to play Devil's advocate, you may have picked up traces of an Irish accent in the time you've lived there. I don't have a Japanese accent, but when I go back home (and this was as early as my first year and a half in Japan) my old friends remarked that I had some sort of non-Chicago accent. When I was in the service I definitely picked up traces of the South, and now I work with people from England, Ireland, Australia, New Zealand, Canada, and of course my hosts the Japanese, all of whom have added or removed certain edges from my pronunciation and added vocabulary and speech patterns I didn't have before, ne?

 

I didn't have to click on this, but I did, and I've never wanted to throat punch a piece of writing so much in my life.

---

I also don't like the whole "I've known you for x number of days, we're in love now." Mary Higgins Clark, bless her and her formulaic mysteries, does this with her protagonist and the main male lead who you are led to believe is the bad guy, but he's not, and by the end, the heroine and the not bad guy are in love and living together or planning to.

I think that's another thing I don't appreciate. Following formulas when writing because you know what will sell stuff. I mean, make your money, but don't get mad when no one finds your writing to be of substance.

 

Yes, out in AZ. I still sound as non descriptively English as when I arrived. My mum is northern (York), my dad was southern (Essex), I was raised in London (Lewisham, SE), yet I have no accent of any region. Been in Ireland 4 years now, and have yet to assimilate my voice. Though I'm leaving this year anyhow. I guess I'm just not vocally influenced.

 

At least he didn't think you were Australian.

 

Maybe I should do an Aussie accent next time, and see if I'm called Scottish or something.

 

From TV Tropes: Scotireland.

 

Here's one thing I wish self-published authors would stop doing.

Signing up onto random forums and posting spam promoting their book and nothing else. I've just seen the same book promoted here and on another forum I'm a member of.

 

Report and call for fire if it's still up

 

It's a blog post - the member has been banned but the blog is still up. Should I report?

 

Nah, if they've been banned it's taken care of, thanks.

ETA: Whoops, now it's taken care of. Thanks though, all good now.

 

Moralizing and aggressively virtue signalling at one another in these kinds of venues. Who needs a despot to crush the artistic voice when we're doing it all by ourselves...

 

Giving protagonists cringe or distracting names. I love Piers Anthony's Xanth series...but I struggled rooting for someone named Bink. In another book (different author) the female protagonist was named Pony. WTH? Or high fantasy and characters have normal names like Alfred. I may get heat for this...but that includes notable characters like, Drizzt. It looks like his name is a onomatopoeia for a sneeze...

 

This is the fatal flaw to one of my favorite novels, Grass by Sheri S. Tepper. Fantastic, fantastic, fantastic book marred by the main character names being pulled right out of the worst, cheesiest soap operas. Marjorie Westriding, a social dogooder whole loves, loves, loves horses (Westriding, horses, get it... ) who is married to Rodrigo Yrarier, who not only sounds like a comically swarthy, exotic Spanish duke from Andalusia or BarTHelona, he actually IS from ancient Spanish noble stock.

All of this in a Science Fiction novel, mind you, not some torrid genre romance.