1. TheMyst7885

    TheMyst7885 Active Member

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    Need some serious feedback on these characters!

    Discussion in 'Character Development' started by TheMyst7885, Jan 27, 2020.

    Well since a lot of what I'm writing is science fiction and fantasy for this graphic novel, here's what I plan to do...

    I might as well make make them all descendants and relatives of eachother that goes from made up missions in each war.

    So for the first one the young American soldier in WW2 meets an experimented or supernatural abilitiy young Jewish woman who joins along his side to fight and win the war. Right after the war she gives birth to their son who is taken by the government and she dies.

    The WW2 soldier then becomes a top spy by the early 1960's on his secret mission to Russia to stop a nuclear attack from happening. He meets a double agent female spy there who's pretending to be Russian and team up. After the mission is victorious, they both have twins together. One boy and one girl.

    The son from the first woman that was born after WW2 would grow up and be sent by the military to fight in the Vietnam War. By the late 1960's or early 70's he's sent on a secret mission deep in the jungles of Vietnam or somewhere in Southeast Asia where these Soviets were hidden, helping and funding the North Vietnamese. He has to stop the Soviets from planning to create a biological chemical warfare. He meets a half French half South Vietnamese woman with supernatural abilities that joins him and they have a son.

    The twin son from the double agent spy woman from the early 1960's grows up to fight on a secret mission in the mid 1980's in the Soviet-Afghan war. He meets a mysterious Baltic mercenary sniper woman with special abilities who's also fighting against the Soviets. They have a son together.

    The twin daughter born from the double agent woman from the early 1960's would be sent on a secret mission in the mid 1980's to South or Central America where she meets a male soldier there with supernatural abilities. They have a daughter together.

    The son born from the woman from Vietnam would then grow up and be old enough to fight in the Gulf War. He'd then be chosen to go on a special mission sometime in the 90's either in Africa or Central Asia. He has a daughter with someone there.

    The son born from the Soviet-Afghan war would eventually meet the daughter born from Central America war and they'd have a son together at some secret base?

    The daughter born from Africa or Central Asia would meet a a guy from a Cyprus mission maybe? Maybe having a son.

    The son born from the secret base would then meet a woman from a mission in Egypt with supernatural abilities and they'd have a daughter.

    Then that son from Cyprus and that duaghter from Egypt would have a son together.

    And that son would meet a mysterious woman from Tibet and they would have a son and daughter, making them both the official highest bloodline protagonists with a third half brother hidden somewhere.

    What is some of your feedback on this?
     
  2. TheOtherPromise

    TheOtherPromise Senior Member

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    I'm not sure what feedback you want, since all you gave was a timeline and a family tree. One that was kind of hard to keep track of without any names.

    Without knowing anything else I can't really say whether I'd find them interesting or boring. You didn't say anything about who they were.

    A story that follows a family throughout multiple generations sounds interesting, at least.
     
    J.D. Ray likes this.
  3. Whitecrow

    Whitecrow Active Member

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    My thoughts:

    It seems strange to me alone that he was made into a spy in his 35th, and used him up to 65 years.
    They tried not to take veterans into spies ... Military databases are not as well protected as secret agents. So there is a big chance of failure when using soldiers from the military who have a file in the military database.
    Age is another problem, they try not to take old people into secret agents, reaction and sports uniforms are worse than among young people, as well as language learning.
    They try not to take family people, and he is a single father. What if in the middle of the assignment his anguish over his son torments, and he wants to return or find out how his son is doing. The authorities will prefer a young single, in a place to separate the father from his son.


    Maybe instead of a spy, it’s worth making a military mercenary from him. It also travels the world. Also involved in various conflicts, one can also reveal his character deeper than a person who does not know how to do anything other than war, so in order to feed his family, he has to travel from one conflict to another. Mercenaries are used not only in war but also for the protection of various important objects, so you are not limited only to military operations.

    There are examples of military private mercenary companies that operate around the world.
    Example: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mercenary#Foreign_national_servicemen
     
    Last edited: Jan 28, 2020
  4. TheMyst7885

    TheMyst7885 Active Member

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    It's more like a family tree of descendants from him. During WW2 he was a soldier, then by the early 1960's he's a top spy. He's pretty much out of the game after that but working under the radar behind closed doors. Like some legendary mercenary by the time hes close to 70 years old. The two women he was with he produced children with in those early years would grow up as soldiers, mercenaries and so would their children and their children's children and they would be doing their missions when they were all young. It would finally lead to the latest descendants into the future who would end up as the main lead protagonists, one male mercenary, one female mercenary and one male warrior monk, each one fostered and adopted by a different group. Not knowing their real parents or ancestors.

    Does any of this make sense?
     
  5. Whitecrow

    Whitecrow Active Member

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    My thoughts:

    It has as much meaning as you put meaning into it...
    Magic, cyber implants, zombies, superheroes ... They all do not exist and do not make sense beyond what people put in.
    This is your story and your world, you can make it as deep as you want. You can write your own rules of the world where any kind you want to tell can and should happen. Ponder the story well, what do you want to tell, ponder the conditions and the world for this story. Everything else will come at the time of writing.
     
  6. TheMyst7885

    TheMyst7885 Active Member

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    It's hard for me to give names just yet. I'm just trying to layer out the entire family trees and timelines of who would descend from what. Does the family tree of descendants seem too big? Maybe I should create a simple step of a family written down of who descends from sho and the date and war period they are in?
     
  7. TheMyst7885

    TheMyst7885 Active Member

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    But how so I fix the family tree and timelines so no one gets too confused? Do I have too many descendants? Is it okay to tell all these different stories with these different characters, leading all the way up to the future with the latest protagonist descendants?
     
  8. Whitecrow

    Whitecrow Active Member

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    My thoughts:

    Create a file in exel. Write them(characters) separately there, in small steps, one at a time. Motivation as characters. Character as characters. History as separate characters. Relations with other characters.
    Another excel table. In it, describe the settings in which events occur. Where, when, in your own words, describe information about places and events and how you can use them in the book.

    These tables should greatly simplify the writing of a book for you.

    Try to write stories separately, and then add transitions in stories between characters and time periods.
    It's like taking a few pieces and then stitching them together.
     
    Last edited: Jan 28, 2020
  9. TheMyst7885

    TheMyst7885 Active Member

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    I dont have excel. Is it an app that I should download? Is there a way I can create a chart for all the character relatives and time periods?
     
  10. Whitecrow

    Whitecrow Active Member

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    There are many other programs to help you write texts.
    This site has a topic dedicated to this.

    There are good options for online programs that come bundled with google drive.
    You can work with your files online, on any computer, and it is relatively convenient to work until you study the list of programs for writers and choose your programs for work.
     
  11. TheMyst7885

    TheMyst7885 Active Member

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    Okay I got it now.

    One last question I wanted to ask. Since this story is fiction, if I have this one mercenary spec ops guy who's a member of this family tree of descendants fighting on a secret mission in Vietnam and he meets up with a French South Vietnamese female partner there, would the mission make it less controversial if it took place around the time of when the special forces were sent during the time of 1961-1964 dealing with fighting the early rise of communist North Vietnamese insurgents and Russians from creating a deadly biological weapon to attack the US with? This would be the early stages before the Vietnam War became a huge hotspot of war.

    Or would it be less controversial if this part of the story took place towards the end of the Vietnam War and this particular descendant mercenary spec ops guy from the family tree was a Vietnam veteran throughout the 1960's and by the early 1970's the war was coming to a close but he was sent on a mission into Vietnam and other parts of Southeast Asia around 1973-74' to stop a biological attack that the Russians were planning to use to attack the US along with North Vietnamese supporters? And he'd meet up with that French South Vietnamese female partner.

    Which part of the story would seem likely to cause less controversy and make better sense history wise?

    Thank you.
     
  12. Whitecrow

    Whitecrow Active Member

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    My thoughts:
    I'm sorry. But I do not know this piece of history so well. So maybe there is someone who wrote and did research on this period of time, and he will give you advice.
     
  13. Naomasa298

    Naomasa298 HP: 10/190 Status: Confused Contributor

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    None of it is controversial.

    As for accuracy history-wise, it's fiction. None of it really happened. So you can set your mission whenever you want. It's up to you to justify it in the story.
     
  14. LazyBear

    LazyBear Banned

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    The theme is very similar to Captain America, so you have to step out from the shadow of similar comics competing about your readers. Mixing history and sci-fi might also come off as just being bad at history or not knowing what to write about, so you need to stand apart from a lot of stories written by American teens by really paying attention to details and separating fact from fiction.

    Taking place in so many countries will make historical fact checking super difficult, in our time when historical accuracy is more important, after people got fed up with fake news on Fakebook. Even if it's fantasy, alternative history has to account for what the reader might already know about the period. I'd pick one historical event per novel or have it as back stories for something else.

    The half french half vietnamese strikes me as unlikely unless they meet in a cultural meltingpot like Europe or USA. In Asia, it's rare to find ethic diversity, so save the credability to convince the reader about her powers instead. Use the powers as a hook on the cover, so that the right target audience will read it and the wrong readers won't give bad reviews.
     
  15. Naomasa298

    Naomasa298 HP: 10/190 Status: Confused Contributor

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    These days, that's becoming less and less true.

    In the 1960s, well...
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amerasian
     
  16. TheMyst7885

    TheMyst7885 Active Member

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    Yes that's why I plan to make these secret made up hidden missions located in more hidden religions which could avoid the whole disbelief theories if it could of ever happened or not. I mean even fictional dramas like The Hurtlocker have a made up story but based on a time or area of real events like the Iraq War right?

    You mean I shouldn't include all these characters stories all being relatives descendants of eachother? I originally planned to make each one from each historical event, each it's own full novel rather than just backstories.

    I was reading an article about when the French had colonized Vietnam since the 1880's and pulled out in 1954. So a French soldier could of met with a Vietnamese woman any time during that and give birth to a child. So couldn't there exist a half French Vietnamese woman by the 1960's-70's?

    How do I do that properly?
     
  17. big soft moose

    big soft moose An Admoostrator Admin Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

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    during the period up to the french defeat in indochina it was very very common for colonial french men in vietnam to have vietnamese mistresses... so there is nothing wrong with having a half french half vietnamese character

    on the wider point these arent characters - they are cardboard cut out descriptions of the background of possible characters, so it is impossible to say whether they work or do not work

    i wouldnt worry about targetting the right audience via the cover and blurb yet - first you have to write the book
     
  18. TheMyst7885

    TheMyst7885 Active Member

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    Correct! Now would it be more interesting if this particular story had the US spec op soldier meet with this French-Vietnamese woman on a mission around 1961-63'? The early years of the Vietnam war before it became such a huge hot zone where the US was very involved.

    Or this took place right after the war was coming to an end and US troops were being pulled out but he is sent in a mission there in like 1973-74' and meets that French-Vietnamese woman then?
     
  19. big soft moose

    big soft moose An Admoostrator Admin Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

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    It really depends on the story ... either will work if its written well. (it is unlikely that a special ops solder would be sent in after '73... if you want a late war story you'd be better off in the period after most US troops were pulled out but before the fall of Saigon)

    End of the day you can't write your book by committee
     
  20. Naomasa298

    Naomasa298 HP: 10/190 Status: Confused Contributor

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    I do wish you wouldn't keep asking which is better. The story is as interesting as YOU make it. It's YOUR skill that will make the story interesting to the reader. If you like the plot element then include it, don't keep asking "do I include this". Interesting stories aren't written by committee.

    EDIT: Damn, moose beat me to it.
     
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  21. TheMyst7885

    TheMyst7885 Active Member

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    Do you mean in '74 which by then troops would have been mostly pulled out but is right before the fall of Saigon? Or I can have it take place as the aftermath of what happened after the Vietnam war, where the North won and the Russians in the jungles are now working on their secret weapon against the West with the US now pulled out of the way in Vietnam?
     
  22. TheMyst7885

    TheMyst7885 Active Member

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    I'm sorry. I dont mean to ;(
     
  23. big soft moose

    big soft moose An Admoostrator Admin Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

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    I got my dates slightly confused - but i think its unlikely that the americans would send an spec ops soldier into vietnam after the paris agreement was signed on january the 27th 1973... if he got caught they'd jeopardize the whole peace process, and there was no appetite at all on the US political end to prolong the war.

    So i'd suggest either in '72, or right around the fall of south vietnam in '75 (by which point the north had comprehensively violated the peace agreement anyway.) Another possibility could be in 1978 when the vietnamese invaded cambodia to depose Pol Pot... it is known that both American and british special forces were working with former Khmer Rouge guerillas to fight the vietnamese invasion so its plausible than an operator could also have been sent in to vietnam
     
  24. TheMyst7885

    TheMyst7885 Active Member

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    If it was set say in '78 or '79 that spec op solider could of been a Vietnam War veteran during the '60's then? Also would it make sense if I had it that this secret mission had the Russians involved helping the opposing side against the US and British? The Russians would also be planning a secret weapon against the West. And would it make sense around this time that the US spec ops soldier could of met up with and fall in love with the half French half Vietnamese woman? Considering she's half South Vietnamese not North.

    Maybe this secret mission would work better set in '75 or '76 right when the North had violated the peace treaty, and communism has risen in that territory with the Russians working on a secret deadly virus weapon there to bring to the West.

    Another theory I had was if set in the 70's, there would of been a hidden Russian missile or lab base in Colombia set to target the West. But that might seem a further stretch than the Vietnam idea.
     
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2020
  25. big soft moose

    big soft moose An Admoostrator Admin Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

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    especially as Columbia had a right wing government who were American allies and were not friends with the Russians who were funding the FARC guerillas.

    if you wanted to be in latin america you'd be better off with nicaragua but it would have to be after the overthrow of somoza in '79 or potentialy boliva during the torres presidency, before his overthrow in '71
     

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