Things That Annoy Me, But Shouldn't

I use 'people-things'

 

My iPhone SE is playing up - battery doesn't hold a charge and the charging port itself is faulty anyway. So I'm on the market for a new phone, except there's nothing decent out there at the size I want. Why is it assumed everyone wants to carry an A4-sized phone around with them all day? If I want to stay with apple and go through my contract for an upgrade I'm stuffed, because the SE isn't made any more, nor is the 5 and 5S which were the same size.

And d'you what annoys me even more than this? When you search for 'smallest smart phones of 2019/2020' the websites lists phones that.... hold on, AREN'T FUCKING SMALL!!!! by anyone's stretch of the imagination. I've even seen the iPhone 11 listed as a 'small smart phone' for Pete's sake!

And yes, I dare say people will now start posting these toy matchbox-sized 'smart phones', but I said decent.

 

You should see their IPhone SE Micro.

 

People who address any group of adults, in any context, as 'boys and girls'. Kiss my ass, you condescending prick.

 

Oooh, a promotion from dickhead! Or maybe I was dickhead 1st class? Can't 'member.

 

Weekend sleeping habits - I usually can't sleep past half seven... Lost can sleep past ten! Like... How the hell are we going to get anything done if you sleep half the day?

At least this apartment is big enough so I can move around without worrying about being a massive ass and waking him up.

Also everything about my job and my boss at the moment, but I think I'm entitled to that. We're not machines and we don't have a hive mind - minimum wage does not cover putting up with that bullshit!

 

We just got done with Storm Ciara, now we have Storm Dennis to ruin the weekend.

I'm fairly confident the Irish didn't name Storm Dennis...but still.
Just checked, and it was named by the UK Met office.

 

I hope it doesn't come my way - I don't think this flat can take any more battering.

 

Modern CG animation, with those stupid facial expressions that all manage to look identical, regardless of who made the thing or how different they try to make the characters look.





Those fucking stupid puppy-dog eyes, protruding bottom lip, blank expression... Every CG animated films these days look identical!

 

Why on earth would anyone watch commercial television?

After the revolution, or during perhaps I see the forces of the BBC rallying around a wireless transmitter- inspired to massacre box setters, barbarian hordes, eyes sticky in conjunctivitis condition, grunting at their screens their vocabulary of 500 words. Although sometimes they stand for their tune, clutching their chests
‘Nefffix, Nefffix, Nefffix’ says one.
‘Bamann,’ says another, ‘Uke Skawaka,’ he says,umm.

 

Well, I don't as a rule, and if I am for whatever reason (such as the Welsh Open Snooker on Eurosport) the mute button goes on as soon as the ads kick in.

It also occurred to me after posting that it wasn't animated adverts that bug me so much, but the type of animation used, hence the edit.

 

Excellent.

- the little brat I used to collect drunk from night clubs/cub scouts is the face of ‘Just Eat’ y’know . I’m kind of his role model, inspirational. Son’s friend.

 

I'm too prolific: A 4000 word piece on the events of Comiskey Park writen on a single evening. I had the nerve to write about music.
Yesterday night I realized how exhasperating at times the big one seems to me. Does the reader need to go through such long, neverending musical rants? Who am I, the next Patrick Bateman?

At least 3 short stories pending on my desk, two on awful first drafts, things demanding to be dealt with, and I go and write about music...

 

Hey, knock yourself in! Write as much as you want.

 

Nitwit spectators at sporting events who insist on impersonating cattle every time a player with an 'ooo' sound in his name does something on the field.

 

Sports announcers holding the fake microphone in front of them. Even when they’re setting at a desk.

 

You had me at the first two words.

 

Football talk. As soon I hear some oaf utter the line, “D’you see the match last night?” I have to suppress a groan and leave the room.

 

The Americanism “Can I get...” instead of “Can I have...” which has very much been adopted by anyone under the age of 35 in this country. If I worked in a shop and had a customer say this, I’d have to reply. “No, because you’re the customer. But I can get it for you if you like.”

 

It's called neoteny. Because the human brain is hard wired to like the way babies look, animators give these features to all of their likable characters so they are able to put less work into actual characterization.

 

This same phenomenon becomes self-reinforcing as human evolution shows a very strong trend towards neoteny, especially as regards the cranial skeleton. Homo sapiens adults are more like homo sapiens babies than any other adult primates close to us are like their babies, particularly the great apes. The trend is also evident in the postcranial skeleton, but it's not as easy to note given that we have some other trends that make it hard to see. When compared to the rest of the body, homo sapiens rear limbs are gigantic compared to those of the rest of our brethren. But still, yes, neoteny is the underlying theme of human evolution, and when you pick up any two skulls from any slice of time, the female is more neotenous than the male. Female leads the way.

 

Isn’t there also another phenomenon that results in us being unsettled by CG characters and/or andriods that look too human?

 

Uncanny Valley. The idea there is that we're cool with things that aren't actually human (CGI, animation, robots) looking like humans until they come really, really close, but not quite. It's that little zone of almost but not quite that freaks us out.

 

I wonder if there's a specific term for the phenomenon wherein the baby eye's trigger one evolutionary imperative in the brain, and unrealistically trimmed and curved, late-pubescent bodies trigger another reaction entirely, because Disney and the like have definitely mastered that too.

 

Amazon tried to recommend books based on my purchase of
The Empress Theresa. Yeah they looked bad, but IDK anyone
that wants to be recommended more bad reading.