What Are You Doing?

Not only is the virus screwing things up for me, but it's preventing work being done on my new master bathroom. So, because I'm staying home almost all the time, and my shower isn't built yet (I have to share my roomie's shower, and it's waaaay at the other end of the house, so I never get there because I have to pack up my camel caravan to make the trip and who has time for that?), I am gleefully a mess. I sit here in my office surrounded by empty ginger beer bottles and crunchy Cheetos, achieving Enlightenment, or as close as a slob can get to it.

 

Watching gameplay of God of War 4 and scrolling through memes because I don't want to write even though I should.

 

I once had entire audience watch me play through Heavy Rain in its entirety. I never reset, and always play on hard, so whatever happens in the game is how it's going to be. That one is emotionally crushing through and through. Probably still my favorite ever after many years. Never had that many people so engaged in watching a video game before, all like 30-40 hours of it.

 

I'm absolute shit at video games, but I love watching gameplay. I have a gamer I follow pretty religiously on YouTube (he hasn't uploaded for a long time, sad face) and he's got over 40 hours of Dark Souls playthroughs and I just put them on while I'm fuckin' around with nothing important.

 

Jamming out at like one am.

Many hours later why am I awake!

Mother and I ended up gorging candy and watching Hulu with the animals all night so that was fun. Probably not gonna sleep tonight.

My legs ache and I`m not sure why. Unless it's just my body going from a physical job, walking every day, exercising daily, to none of that to a lot of walking and bending yesterday again and just being like...no bitch. I also ran out of vitamins. I could barely move my legs this morning, tried to stretch it out but it's just like an ache.

On the bright side, slightly coming out of the rut in a maybe unhealthy way. Sleep schedule is shot, been going to bed around 3 or 7 (am) and getting up at 11 or 12, but our kitchen got deep cleaned and cleaned out the refrigerators yesterday, stocked up again today. Been meditating outside every day, minus today where it was raining and I hurt so I napped. Things our coming good, edging further into April which means closer to the whole seven-year since the only father figure I ever had/source of a hefty half of my trauma died and I...I need new projects because I can`t just make sure I work that day like I did with my dad's birthday. Sitting alone with those thoughts...dislike....but an epoxy I ordered just got delivered so that's a good sign.

We`ll see how this goes.

 

Sounds like you had...fun.

 

Trying to find the anything required to walk into town to pay my rent. The degree to which I honestly couldn't give a fuck about this is pretty extensive, which makes the task seem impossible.

 

Trying to ignore my ever growing need for pop.
It's been like a week and a half since my last grocery trip.
I miss being able to walk over whenever I want.

 

Made this

 

Driving myself and a few other people crazy on here trying to figure out the workings of a new plot idea.
And enjoying the first glass of Pepsi and ice I've had in 3 weeks.

It's nearly 2 in the morning and I was asleep most of the day because my dog had me up all night long. She has dementia and gets confused between night and day. So just chilling.

 

Slowly dying from the cheese I ate for dinner. I will never learn. I don't want to.

 

Idk man, I tried to reach unemployment failed, played some Greedfall, submitted some bullshit to an art contest, took a nap, ate a whole thing of brownies, and then stared at the wall. Idk anymore man.

Need to organise things tomorrow

 

It didn't work, but since I used to work for a shop that supplied to plumbers, I used my old contacts to get a hold of a plumber I got along with. He's coming over this evening to get things fixed.

 

This, that, and some other things.

 

Breathing. Important to do correctly. Peace of mind follows slow, deep breaths.

Also reading and gaming when not. Modding Skyrim till it's unrecognizable has been fun, though, I'm waiting for a switch game from Amazon (Fire Emblem). Books too, though they should be coming today.

 

So... Woke up at 9 pm and I'm feeling as energised as a deviant electron. It's 6:30 now and in a few hours a friend is coming over to have the alcoholics branch. Hurray! No, we haven't drank anything. Yet.
All this time I've been secluded I've been keeping contact only with one friend of mine who lives nearby. It's refreshing that I'm at last going to see another person. Everybody lives far far away from me. Man, we're gonna have a party!

 

It`s been four weeks, and I don't even have my pin yet to file the rest of my weekly claims. People I work with who filed after me got there pins, and the bank statement that came in today shows a zero dollar deposit from unemployment so they tested the account. I know there have been rumors of claims getting lost which had me spooked but they ran the account so that's good but ...where`s my pin.....

Watch it got lost in the mail.

 

I'm watching food asmr videos and contemplating beautiful man hands. Peaceful Cuisine on Youtube, if you're interested.

 

Seriously.

 

You sound like the character from my urban fantasy.

 

Going to go back to a bit simpler less tech advanced state for a while.
Have fun.

 

Getting the hookah fired up. I've managed to resist day drinking so far, but I feel the need to do something categorically unhealthy.

 

My god @Dogberry's Watch ! You're becoming a character in everyone's fantasy!
For me it was the piano - violin thing.

 

As long as it's not a "killed while wearing a duck costume" fantasy, I'm fine with whatever.