What Are You Doing?

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Carly Berg, Jan 22, 2018.

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  1. Friedrich Kugelschreiber

    Friedrich Kugelschreiber marshmallow Contributor

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    I think if you're cutting up a body it's more of a single use situation anyway. You ever tried removing DNA evidence from the chain of a chainsaw?

    Neither have I.
     
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  2. EFMingo

    EFMingo A Modern Dinosaur Supporter Contributor

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    Just throw it in a river.
     
  3. Friedrich Kugelschreiber

    Friedrich Kugelschreiber marshmallow Contributor

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    Yeah, that's what I mean. You're not going to save it for future use, most likely.
     
  4. EFMingo

    EFMingo A Modern Dinosaur Supporter Contributor

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    If it has DNA evidence on it, it has no future use.
     
  5. Friedrich Kugelschreiber

    Friedrich Kugelschreiber marshmallow Contributor

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    Not to the criminal anyway. The homicide investigation might appreciate having it.
     
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  6. Xoic

    Xoic Prognosticator of Arcana Ridiculosum Contributor Blogerator

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    I used to buy whole chickens and cut them up, it's cheaper than buying the pre-cut parts. I used a butcher knife for the flesh and got some good sturdy garden shears to cut through the bone. Worked like a charm. Alternately, a meat cleaver will make short work of both without needing to switch implements. Slice with it for the meat, for the bone pound on the back of the blade with the heel of your hand. I also used to work at Church's Fried Chicken. They used a table rotary saw for all of it, meat and bone alike.
     
  7. Fervidor

    Fervidor Senior Member

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    You could always stick it in a vat of strong acid and let it dissolve. Just don't bother trying to get rid of the rest of the... evidence that way. Turns out dissolving an entire body takes forever, may not get rid of everything and also leaves a considerable paper trail - people tend to notice when you buy an entire bathtub worth of acid and even the cops are sharp enough to figure that one out.

    Now, I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs...
     
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  8. Aaron Smith

    Aaron Smith Banned Contributor

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    Drain blood, dismember body to increase surface area, use 18 M sulfuric acid.
     
  9. Iain Aschendale

    Iain Aschendale Lying, dog-faced pony Marine Supporter Contributor

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    Dress body in spacesuit.

    Position in expensive sports car.

    Strap sports car to rocket.

    Launch victim, car, and all towards Jupiter, disposing of all the evidence on live TV, worldwide.

    Giggle yourself to sleep every night.
     
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  10. Aaron Smith

    Aaron Smith Banned Contributor

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    I think I just had 5 illegal thoughts in a row.
     
  11. Some Guy

    Some Guy Manguage Langler Supporter Contributor

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    TBT, the bandsaw is what is commonly used for butchering mammals for production. Follow USDA procedures for cleaning. Pressured steam equipment will be more than sufficient to render DNA samples useless. I used to use would consider using a stolen saw from a local processing facility. Let them sanitize it unawares. :D
     
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  12. Link the Writer

    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

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    Doing some re-writes after I got critique on my story. :3
     
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  13. dbesim

    dbesim Moderator Staff Supporter Contributor

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    I’m currently designing some personality quizzes. This has become a bit of a hobby of mine during quarantine and I’ve created quite a few. I know a lot of people don’t like taking personality quizzes. And actually the target audience for them is in the range of 11-17 - certainly with regard to the quizzes I make. I guess their age sometimes and I get them right within this category :p
     
    Last edited: May 25, 2020
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  14. Aaron Smith

    Aaron Smith Banned Contributor

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    I remember a time when Myers-Briggs tests were the bomb. I also distinctly remember INTJs being particularly arrogant and they always seemed to boast a 130+ IQ or some shit.
     
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  15. dbesim

    dbesim Moderator Staff Supporter Contributor

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    Ah.. the quizzes I design are more of a “no-brainier”. It’s more like “pick some treats and we’ll compare you to a power-puff girl”.
     
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  16. Rzero

    Rzero Reluctant voice of his generation Contributor

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    Unless you're on a spree.
     
  17. EFMingo

    EFMingo A Modern Dinosaur Supporter Contributor

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    That is very true, but possibly boring. Spice it up with an axe or sawsall to keep things interesting!
     
  18. Dogberry's Watch

    Dogberry's Watch Contributor Contributor Contest Winner 2023 Contest Winner 2022

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    I'd just use my chef knives. Cut at the joints and send out to a desert and let nature do its thing.
     
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  19. Kinzvlle

    Kinzvlle At the bottom of a pit Contributor

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    Wishing everyone a good memorial day weekend....and floating out in space.
     
  20. Dogberry's Watch

    Dogberry's Watch Contributor Contributor Contest Winner 2023 Contest Winner 2022

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    Sliced the fuck out of my hand on a tree branch.
     
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  21. OurJud

    OurJud Contributor Contributor

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    Pictures or it didn't happen.

    No, don't really. I'm too squeamish.
     
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  22. OurJud

    OurJud Contributor Contributor

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    What I'm doing is hoping the offer I just made on an eBay item gets rejected.
     
  23. flawed personality

    flawed personality Contributor Contributor

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    Having bidders regret? :p
     
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  24. OurJud

    OurJud Contributor Contributor

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    Not bidder, strictly speaking. It was one of those listings that had a 'Make an offer' option... so I did. Problem is you're legally obligated to buy if they accept.
     
  25. Aaron Smith

    Aaron Smith Banned Contributor

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    I'm typing random heinous strings of words into the YouTube search bar followed by "music" trying to discover some underground shit. I actually found two bands this way which are not terrible.
     
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