I'm describing two people being interviewed by the police. One of them is giving distressing information and the other one is getting upset. Can I say this: "she buried her head in her neck" I'm circumspect about the use of the word 'buried'. Of course, she's not actually burying her head so I'm thinking this is an inappropriate use. what do you think?
I think this is a perfectly useable description. I think I've heard 'she buried her head in her shoulders' before, which is similar.
As a reader, attempting to visualize this action would distract me to the point of losing track of the narrative altogether. You can bury your head in your hands (which is what people most commonly do); you can hunch your shoulders up almost to your ears; you can scrunch up your neck and pull your chin down toward your chest, attempting to hide your face. But the neck cannot cover the head - not even a turtle can do more than retract neck and head into its shell. Try it. If you describe an action you cannot perform yourself, chances are, the reader can't believe it. (Of course, not all readers care, or even notice, and you may not be concerned with the few who have a visual imagination.)
Buried into shoulder would be more believable and accurate as that's essentially what she'd be doing. When I think of burying into the neck I think of lovers in an embrace.
That was exactly my response. I read the query several times, thinking 'how can you bury your head in your own neck?' Doesn't work for me at all. If I was reading that in a story, I'd assume there was a typo somewhere, but would not be sure where.
As a reader, if something sounds odd, awkward or implausible, I often find myself attempting to do what's being described (not the violent bits!!). But just forming an incongruous image in the reader's mind is to be avoided -- unless you're writing humour. So, as a rule, I suggest: If you're not sure it fits the picture you wish to create, find a better word.
