In a operation: "Oops" "Keep that, we will need it for the autopsy" "Dam....page 47 from the manual is missing" "What do you mean this isn't gender re-assignment surgery?" "Come back with that, BAD DOG!"
This is one that the surgeon evaluating an infection in my foot said to me: "Oh, we'll take your leg off just below the knee." My response: "No, no you won't." Fortunately, the infection cleared up with antibiotics, so I didn't have to lose any more of my foot.
"Are you xxx's mother? Why don't you take a seat." Something I said far too often in a previous career.