TMW you are walking in the woods and realize that the reason you haven't see any cardinals or goldfinches is not because they are not there, but because you have not been paying attention.
TMW when after a hurricane forces you to take off for three days, you find yourself excited by the prospect of going back to work tomorrow. When it’s almost 6:00 pm. Okay, yeah, I know I love my job but seriously, brain. Probably didn’t help that I took an hour and a half nap so my brain feels energized and ready to do shit. Right, sleeping pill is in order tonight.
TMW the universe is trying to teach you a lesson..... Me: i dont feel like making breakfast. Ill just stop at the diner on my way to work. They open at 7:30, it'll be perfect! -gets to diner at 7:50- Diner: NEW HOURS: 9AM-3PM Me: .....thats ok! I dont have to be on desk at all today. Ill just come back at 9. No big deal -gets notification 10mins later- YOU ARE NOW SCHEDULED FROM 8AM-1PM ON DESK ......why......
tmw (actually on sunday) something goes wrong with the contract for emptying the dog bins, and you have mountains of shit everywhere. Closely folowed by tmw you are helping the team get on top of said problem and a visitor walks past and says to their child "this is why you have to work hard at school Tommy so you don't wind up with a job like that" Bitch,please. I have a MSc and an MBA (top 10% of my class), but I'm also a dedicated professional so when the shit hits I do whatever needs to be done instead of hiding behind my education and letting someone else take the weight
You know, even if that were your job, she was really out of line and cruel to say such a thing in your hearing. She might also be fundamentally wrong in presuming that it is an inherent indignity to perform that job. Perhaps we would all be better off if we accepted the value of such work. "When the Tao is present in the universe/ The horses haul manure./ When the Tao is absent from the universe/ War horses are bred outside the city." Tao Te Ching, ch. 46
That's such a fun job, isn't it? The aroma is quite captivating. I like it when the bins are so full of dog shit, the bags all spill onto the floor as you're lifting the liner out. Give me the bowling greens any day of the week.
No prospect of soaking them in some gasoline and setting the whole mass on fire, then stirring it with an engineer stake to make sure of an even burn? That's hands-down the worst thing I have ever smelled.
For whatever reason many people appear to have stopped using their wheelybins and instead cram their carrier bags full of waste into the park bins. When I'm on the bin round, most are like the ones you describe.
Never understood why people decided to become working man's barbers, but a friend of mine whose dad did that for a living explained it to me as "Economy goes up, economy goes down, guys are always going to need haircuts."
... when you text your lift-to-work workmate to tell him your Corona test is negative and can he pick you up tomorrow as normal, and he replies with the following four words: 'Forward me your results'
I suppose I should give him tBotD in hindsight. He has a daughter with asthma and I suppose there's always false negatives to consider. Maybe he just wanted to see if the results gave any more information beyond 'Your result is negative'.
... when you wish you'd kept your test results to yourself for another 24 hours and blagged another day off work. I may not have corona but I still feel like shit with whatever it is I do have.
its not compulsory to go to work if you're sick... if you've got flu or even a bad cold they don't want you in the workplace infecting others
TMW you find out if the transmission dipstick isn't seated firmly, that it will cause your car to overheat. So with bumpy and rough roads, check the trannnie dipstick if you happen to have to deal with rough terrain regularly.
TMW you repair something with superglue and the parts you meant to stick together do, the parts you didn't don't, and you don't get any on your fingers. Clearly the bugs in 2020 are getting worse.
... when you realise your math skills are so bad you can’t even work out the problem on a calculator. Anyone care to help? We get a pay rise next wage, backdated to April when it was agreed. It’s an increase of 2.75% from (in my case) £8.72 ph. I next get paid in mid October, so how much extra will I receive?