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  1. Damage718

    Damage718 Senior Member

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    Continuity error? Or nitpicking? Please help!

    Discussion in 'Revision and Editing' started by Damage718, Sep 24, 2020.

    Bear with me on this question, please. I'm at the paranoid/nervous stage of final proofing :p

    I'm going through my 2nd and hopefully final proof copy (yay!) and noticed a small continuity error...but I KIND OF cover it in a previous page. Here's the situation...

    Two characters are talking on the phone on a Tuesday about setting up a business meeting out of town. They agree to meet the following Monday, six days later. Prior to hanging up, the female character says she'd "check in when she was on her way." Then the male character says "if you have any questions in the meantime, don't hesitate to reach out."

    Standard business call stuff.

    So, six days later on that Monday in the story, I narrate that the woman was set to meet the man who was the voice on the phone two days' prior. Now, we know they spoke SIX days prior, but we DON'T know if they spoke again after that. I left that door open with the "reach out with any questions" line. So they COULD have spoken two days prior, but we aren't sure...

    I don't know if most readers will catch this? Is it a big enough continuity error to fix, or is it okay to leave some speculation that they may have spoken again two days earlier?

    There's no further mention of this conversation between the two characters again in the story. I'm obviously trying to avoid making further changes & re-upload manuscripts & delay things further at this stage...but I will if this is an obvious hole...
     
    Last edited: Sep 24, 2020
  2. Urocyon

    Urocyon Member

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    It may be catch-able, but also easily reasoned away, as you've done in the quote. You've given yourself a nice backdoor here, and it's great for little things like this in writing. Depending on what kind of a story you've got, it might even lend a hint of suspense, as the readers who notice will wonder at the little detail, but if going this route I would suggest making it relevant that another discussion did occur.

    I will ask though, why not change "two days" to "six days" if it actually is an error?
     
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  3. Damage718

    Damage718 Senior Member

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    As it turns out, I will change it to "the week prior" or something. I've noticed a couple other minor errors in the copy in other parts of the book so I'm obviously going to fix them all. At the time I made this thread, I thought (wishfully) that this was the only little error in the copy. But, *sigh* it never is lol
     
  4. Thom

    Thom Active Member

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    It never is.:D
    And 'the week prior,' 'the last time they spoke,' 'a few days ago,' fixes it pretty nicely.
     
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  5. Damage718

    Damage718 Senior Member

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    I fixed it, and just went with "the week prior."

    To answer this question: It was originally two days because the two characters were set to have this meeting two days after the initial phone call. But when I was working on the second draft, I changed the dialogue of the phone call to have the meeting be the following Monday, and included the "reach out with any questions in the meantime" bit. So looking back, this was both a continuity issue AND me nitpicking :D I probably could've left it, and the readers might have speculated they did speak in-between, but I'd rather err on the side of caution here.

    It's also really interesting how these things always become more obvious on the physical, printed copy and easily overlooked on the screen.
     
    Last edited: Sep 26, 2020
  6. Betchern0t

    Betchern0t New Member

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    Alistair MacLean, big writer of the post wwII era wrote the guns Navarone, then he based the sequel not on the novel but on the movie of the same name. The movie had major plot changes.
     
  7. w. bogart

    w. bogart Contributor Contributor Blogerator

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    This type of continuity error, and shattle the willing suspension of disbelief in some readers. So I would suggest fixing any of these, you or your beta readers find.
     
  8. InsaneXade

    InsaneXade Active Member

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    That is the truth. Every author has that last revision idea and hopes that's the last mistake. Welcome to the world of creative writing.
    How true, you must watch out for those little detail mistakes. Everything must weave into everything else or there will be those what the heck moments that ruin the entire book. Enough of those moments and the reader will put it down.
    Here's an example I once read in a writer's book. I took the time to find it to quote it properly. This is an excerpt from Telling Details, 2nd Edition . Kat Duncan. Kindle Edition.
    Before she began she placed the expensive porcelain vase on the edge of the mantelpiece. She moved the smaller pieces of furniture to one side of the room. Zooming back and forth with the vacuum she tried to ensure that every corner was as clean as it had been the day he left. Reordering the chairs and tables, she matched the worn dimples in the carpet to each piece, putting the room back together like a child's puzzle. She fluffed the pillows, stacked the magazines into a neat pile, and put the picture frames back into their usual places. She left the room in perfect order and went off to decant some wine.

    Are you dying to find out what happened to the vase? Did you think she was going to knock it over and break it? Nope. She's gone. Every time there's a scene in this room, I'm going to remember the vase and wait for it to fall. It probably will never be mentioned again.​
    So, make sure you details are right, for if your vase is never mentioned again the reader will wonder what happened to it.
     
    Last edited: Nov 7, 2022
  9. w. bogart

    w. bogart Contributor Contributor Blogerator

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    Reading that passage I had a WTF moment with the author asking those questions at the end. Until I saw the citation at the end and realized breaking the 4th wall was intentional in a book on writing.
     
  10. InsaneXade

    InsaneXade Active Member

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    I edited it to make it more clear.
     
  11. Xoic

    Xoic Prognosticator of Arcana Ridiculosum Contributor Blogerator

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    Lol, it's Chekhov's Vase! If you perch it on the edge of the mantelpiece in the first paragraph, it must shatter on the floor by the third.

    I noticed a problem like this in the movie Return of the Living Dead. Bert (from Uneeda Medical Supply across the street) had brought a few things over to the mortuary where his friend Ernie (yes, really) was working late. Long story short, Ernie agreed to burn up the re-animated body parts in the incinerator, and he kept telling Bert "Oh boy, after this you're gonna really owe me a big favor. Yessiree a really big one!" And Bert would always agree. This favor got focused on so strongly it felt really important.

    Finally, when Bert was going to run out across the zombie-infested field and try to get a car so they could all escape, Ernie said "Hey Bert—remember that favor you owe me? Watch your ass out there buddy."

    That was it! I felt so let down. I suspect the dialogue was largely improvised, and probably a few repetitions should have been edited out. That favor felt like it was going to be something really major, and it turned out to be a nothing burger. Emphasis is important (why do I feel like this connects with something else... ? :cool:)
     
    Last edited: Nov 7, 2022

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