Making the story sad

This has probably been done a million times before, but I feel intrigued by the idea...

I recently started tinkering with a new short about a lonely old man who has some time to kill before attending a party, and decides to go on a long walk. He sees various places from his past (old neighborhood, his school, his favorite restaurant, etc.) and during the walk he's feeling particilarly lonely, realizing everyone in his life is gone and that he too will soon be dead. So I want to convey sadness and kind of an introspection where he wonders if he did it "right" (meaning, his life), and what awaits him in death, which will happen at the very end.

What's a good way to show this sad, depressed feeling he has? I thought about anecdotal stories of each place he walks by -- like certain memories both good and bad. But I feel that's been done to death. I want the reader to take this walk with him and feel just as lonely and scared about his inevitable end of life, but I don't want it to be as vanilla as "old man takes a walk, feels sad, then dies" (even though that's the basics of it haha ).

I feel this kind of tale has been told ad nauseum so maybe it's not even worth writing...but it's stuck in my mind right now so I'm compelled to at least examine the idea a little...

Any input would be appreciated

 

I've always thought that even if a plot has been done to death, it's still possible to write a fresh story using that plot (which is amazing, considering we're all working with the same twenty-six letters). Speaking as an old man myself, I can say that ruminating on one's life, especially the parts you regret, happens more and more often once you reach a certain age, mostly focused on those things you wanted to do, but couldn't didn't and can't any longer. I do think, though, that a man of that age would have long before decided what awaits him after death.

 

It's a little hard to express loneliness if at the beginning he's been invited to a party.

 

Not necessarily. The MC is elderly, single, never married, no kids. He has a few friends left, one of whom has a daughter that just retired -- hence the party in question. People can be invited to places by friends/acquaintances all the time and still be completely alone in their private life.

Plus, I wanted to setup that he remains somewhat active and mobile, and finds time to take an impromptu stroll before having to be somewhere.

 

There is no greater loneliness than being around other people, and still feeling completely isolated

 

Now imagine years' worth of that. Plus with much, if not all of his family deceased, and just a few random friends left...not even really close friends, more like the guys he knows from the corner bar or the coffee shop.

That's my MC.

 

But here's the problem: you're not showing the party, so thus it is now a contradicting idea. You're going to show all this, but not going to show him isolated at the party. Not going to work.

And I know why now that I think about it. You don't have a theme here or you haven't said what your theme is. What is your theme? "Look how lonely he is" Okay... so what? What point are you trying to make about loneliness? This is incredably crucial to figuring out how these pieces are going to go together and thus, overall, convey the lonliness you want to convey.

 

What if he doesn't die at the end? I would come up with something more clever and unexpected. That might drive home the point you are trying to make even more. Death does not equal character change, and you mention the premise of your story being common. Take your idea, but spin it on its head and see what you come up with. Even the whole going for a walk to literally stroll down memory lane seems a little too neat and another easy way to frame the story. Maybe the story is the party. The loneliness hiding in a crowd since you mention that. And that is more interesting and unique than the way you've presented your idea. Often the best ideas are spinoffs from okay or not-so-great ideas. I would suggest giving this some more thought and playing around with the whole idea in general.

 

You are correct that I don't have a theme fully set. I have elements, but nothing central. As I said in the OP, I'm just tinkering with the idea., and a little scatterbrained with it at the moment as you can tell lol.

I was not planning on showing the party. I was only going to mention that he was going to attend one, but found himself with time to kill beforehand, which is what sets him off on his long walk. The party is only relevant in that he supposedly had somewhere to be.

But I could see how the party could be key to the story...when I figure out the big picture of it all.

 

Theme usually emerges when you're writing, and then you need to go in and make massive changes in your plot. That's usually when story starts to get good. For me what i write in the beginning is usually just idea-generating and a first run at the story, and I know it'll doubtless change considerably as it goes forward.

Was it Hemingway who said "The first draft is always shit"? (something to that effect anyway.)

 

That's where I'm at with just about every short I write. I run with an idea, and the story evolves during the process. Right now with this one, I don't know how or even if the party the old man is supposed to attend will matter other than to convey that he has somewhere to be, and still has something of a social life despite being a loner in life.

I don't know exactly where I want this to go, maybe nowhere at all.

In fact, maybe the MC's lengthy walk isn't the story, but a scene...

 

If you really require it, how about show a whole bunch of regrets and 'what ifs'?

Like, say, he's an old man right? That means that there were many crossroads and 'could have beens' on the road of his life. Maybe when he was 20 he was given the choice to go to university or join the army. He chose to join the army. He wonders if maybe that was a mistake, or if he could have been a surgeon or physicist if he had chosen the path of scholarship instead.

There was once a woman. She had to choose between him and another man. SHe chose another man. He wonders where she is now. Wistfulness, pangs of longing, as well as simulations and daydreams of what a life with her could have been like. Maybe he's divorced with his normal wife, and now he wonders if he had perhaps tried harder, maybe he wouldn't be alone in an empty house.

Maybe he used to be a workaholic. When others were busy partying and busy playing, he was hard at work, or studying. Maybe he disdained companionship or would rather get the work done rather than go to the bar. Well, now his liver is shot from old age, and his hands can no longer hold a cue stick. Now he's wondering if he's wasted his time, and should have spent more time playing and drinking rather than working a thankless job.

 

That's kind of what I was thinking. Every place he passes and things he sees while walking around reminds him of a memory of that place/object, and naturally come the associated regrets and what ifs.

I think this would be better as a scene though, instead of the main story. I just need to figure out what is built around it, plot-wise, and that maybe he was "supposed" to either leave the party early, or not arrive at all.

 

I guess since old age and lonely death can be sad and lonely on their own, you'd have to tap into the next human layer of fear. If you make every memory place he passes a reflection of guilt of some sort, it could offer a realistic extra layer of fear to the reader and the MC. The guilty conscious the human spent his life distracting himself from, becomes more unavoidable the older we get. When you're really old, life is spinning all around you, and you're watching the world go on, as you wither away. If you don't have happy memories, and mostly guiltless (I mean serious guilt not common guilts we may all share), your aging and death will be even more torturous. Maybe at wherever he sleeps at night, we see a few showing moments of him losing his faculties, and there be hints of uncertainty (nursing home?, where will he be buried?, does he have any relatives?, do they like him?). The fear I'd say for an old person is not being able to care for yourself or make decisions for yourself anymore. Maybe he almost slips and falls on his walk, another real fear of old age, I know a lot of old people don't wanna leave the house because they are afraid of taking a fall.) Make his lil fears real old age fears, and the implied fears of the future be of the uncertain things that come with old age. Can he still control his bowels? Maybe he recently had an accident or two. Maybe he sees another old person with a dog or cat, and he feels even lonlier having nothing? Tie those things into bits of showing how he could possibly feel as if he deserves a lonely sad death, as he passes places from his past. Maybe he ignored an elderly person in his past. Maybe he wasn't compassionate to an old person as a young guy.

 

Great stuff there and that's essentially my plan with this scene. Not only do I want to show some anecdotal memories of each place, but to touch on the fears you mentioned. These are real fears that I know I have in my personal life...things I fear TERRIBLY about getting old (how will I live since I'll never make enough $ to retire, what will my income/housing be? Will I be able to fend for myself? Will I be ambulatory? etc.) This will clearly be the main/biggest scene in the story so maybe if I combine the memories with current fears/challenges, it'll have a bigger/sadder impact.

 

A large numbers of stories I've read so far is sad because, in my opinion, POV character loses their chance to change. While prior to the ending, it's been shown adequately magnitude of the stake. That and the resonance.

 

Also.... you can always emphasise the effects of old age. Where he once stood mighty and strong, now he is stooped and bent. Once his mind was like lightning and flowed like oil. Now he struggles to remember the route to the party. Once his fingers were nimble and he played the piano. Now he struggles to hold his keys, his hands shaking with parkinsons.

 

I wouldn't make it too overt but I find that accenting objects - empty swing sets - absent of light and laughter, emphasizing darkness and shadow, things like that will help shape the tone of what you're going for.
Don't get too caught up in the fact that it's been done to death, focus on what you want to say about the subject. Sadness is a personal emotion. Think of your own nostalgic longings.

 

That's precisely the feel I'm going for. I did that in a couple stories in my recent collection -- where the MC visited empty, abandoned places and had connected feelings of how it used to be vs. how it is now, like "seeing" an echo. I drew a lot from personal experiences in those scenes/stories and almost made the forlorn space a character itself. I want to do something similar here, only more introspected.