1. Kendall Wellman

    Kendall Wellman New Member

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    Character Backstory

    Discussion in 'Character Development' started by Kendall Wellman, Jan 28, 2021.

    Trigger Warning

    So I have a character that was sexually assaulted in her past and I don't want to have her directly say it in graphic terms. Like I don't just want her to say, "I was raped." What would be a good way to allude to that fact without saying it so bluntly.
     
  2. Homer Potvin

    Homer Potvin A tombstone hand and a graveyard mind Staff Supporter Contributor

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    Well, if you don't want to come out and says it, hints, metaphors, and vague allusions are probably you're next best resort. Probably cloak it inside interior monologue where coded language has fewer obstacles to overcome. A lot will depend on your character's reaction to the abuse.
     
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  3. Kendall Wellman

    Kendall Wellman New Member

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    Her primary reaction was, as someone would expect, the fear and other horrible emotions involved with something that terrible. But there isn't a flashback to the initial aftermath, the driving point in the narrative importance of her assault is her hate for the people who did it and the organization that those people are from. So I guess her reaction would be anger and disdain, and I don't want to use the word revenge, because she doesn't have the means to take revenge, but she would lash back at them if she had the ability to.
     
  4. big soft moose

    big soft moose An Admoostrator Admin Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

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  5. Homer Potvin

    Homer Potvin A tombstone hand and a graveyard mind Staff Supporter Contributor

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    Well if it's a major plot point of arena of conflict, you're going to have to address it one way or another. Sometimes coming right out and saying it can save you a bunch of grief down the road. Doesn't mean you have to graphically illustrate it or anything. You might try showing how she reacts to certain situations through the lens of abuse. Intimacy would seem to be a good one. Trust, another.
     
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  6. Kendall Wellman

    Kendall Wellman New Member

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    Both of those are really great ways to approach it thank you. I could definitely approach it from a physical angle. There is a point in the book when a male character tries to kiss her (in a romantic way he's not being insidious) and I originally planned on her just rejecting him but I could really run with the idea of her not responding to it well at all. And that might be a good point for her to tell the other characters about it.
     
  7. Whitecrow

    Whitecrow Active Member

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    From me..

    Usually people don't tell or share such things. It's hard for them to step over themselves. This does not mean that they do not want to. Memories of the traumatic constantly worry them, as well as the consequences if others find out about it.

    So they usually want to share. Therefore, they usually choose two options. The first is written in notebooks and diaries, where they throw out their emotions and memories. The second one communicates anonymously, now most often via the Internet, and before they just traveled to an unfamiliar place, they found a random person, presented themselves as a false name and made a short-term friendship as a result of which they poured out their soul.
    There is another option just to keep everything to yourself and allow various mental disorders to develop.

    Nothing comes from nowhere and disappears into nowhere. If you meet a person with some weirdness, then most likely this person went through some kind of traumatic experience that made him what he is.

    Common weirdness of rape victims: Shyness of your body, Afraid of intimacy, Some have consent to any imitative act (It's strange, but some victims, in order not to be raped, simply agree to any sex.), Fear of being alone, Insomnia, Fear of places associated with rape, Fear of things associated with the rapist, Fear of staring...


    And much more ... People here can tell you.
    The bottom line is, how significant was that to this person? If this was very significant, then he will be silent and keep everything to himself, but this will strike him a blow to his psyche, or the person may not keep everything to himself, but this will lead to another problem that the person will not be able to maintain a normal conversation, since any conversation will come down to her traumatic experience, and the person will talk about his experience constantly and to everyone around.

    There are still people who do not receive any psychological trauma from such an experience, but such people are a big exception, and they themselves do not give it any meaning. Usually such people live a normal life and use this experience only if they can benefit from it. Unlike other groups, they are able to calmly say "They were raped", while other groups will not be able to say it in plain text and will instead always tell the story of how it happened when they want to share it.
     
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  8. Kehlida

    Kehlida Member

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    I'm passionate about this topic so pardon the lengthiness and trigger warning.

    If you're not planning to state it in a direct way, consider the circumstances.

    * Is this a one-time incident or did she experience prolonged abuse?
    * Did she know this person before the assault (Mom/father, step-parent, aunt/uncle, sister/brother, love interest or partner, acquaintance, friend or peer), or had she been assaulted at random?
    * When or where did it occur? (At her own home, a trusted person's home, at school or on campus, during a party, in a vehicle, at random while going for a run or coming home from work?)
    * How did it happen? (I am not going to go into too much detail but consider certain gestures, restraint methods, etc. A previous person posted a link to a woman whose PTSD causes her to relate wearing a mask to having her abuser's hand over her mouth: perfect example.)
    * In any way, did alcohol or substances play a role?
    * Did she or someone else involve authorities?
    * Did pregnancy occur?

    Consider this:

    * A victim's ability to trust is lost in any case. We all process trauma different and no one could say prolonged abuse would effect someone more than a single instance, but it's something to consider.
    * If they knew their abuser, it might further break down their perceived support system. (Victims may be threatened to keep it a secret or choose to hide it to avoid destroying a family structure, to protect a social façade, work circle dynamic or longstanding friendship, etc.)
    * Setting matters:
    - People violated in their own homes regularly live in fear. I remember a story in which a man climbed through a woman's window at random and violated her. Years later once she'd been through therapy, found a husband and I believe had a daughter, she still slept in her tennis shoes in case she ever had to escape. In another story, a person had been abused following and preceding baths, so as an adult she used only wet-wipes to clean herself and struggled to maintain basic hygiene.
    - School or campus: Some people drop out or suffer academically. It could've been a teacher or another student whom they have to see regularly.
    - Parties: Public scenes might mean people witnessed or had knowledge of the event. It might lead to further injustices, blackmail or unfair loss of integrity.
    - In a vehicle: A victim may experience flashbacks or feel ill seeing a similar vehicle, or even go into a full blown panic. Perhaps they involuntarily look for this car in traffic or choose a different method of transport from then on.
    - At random / off the street: A victim would feel unsafe going out and choose to isolate or avoid parts of town that remind them of the assault. This could lead to a longer commute, abstaining from social gatherings, abandoning their favorite establishment or even losing their job.
    * How it happened or certain things done during the assault may trigger flight or fight responses in a recovering survivor. Anything from a phrase, a song (one which played during the assault), an accidental touch or tap, etc. Just raising a hand to stretch or go for a hug could cause them to recoil or flinch. Being intimate proves challenging because it will remind them of the incident.
    * Substance use or alcohol may impair a person's memory and dissuade them from involving authorities. A person who cannot remember the incident at all may find out later if, for instance, video surfaces or a present third party comes clean. Consider if they've been drugged without their knowledge.
    * Authorities are not always helpful and the entire process might stunt healing. A lack of evidence or push to convict could mean the offender goes free. Reporting could turn it into a public case and draw unwanted focus to a victim.
    * If a victim becomes pregnant by their attacker, they may choose to keep the child for any number of reasons, some may adopt out following their birth, and some women choose to terminate. Some regret their decisions to keep a child as it becomes a constant reminder or they're unable to bond while some count their child as a great blessing. Some adopt out or terminate: some put it in the back of their minds while others may wonder how their child turned out or would've turned out and it haunts them.

    Other things to note...

    * Some people are single when they're assaulted and have troubles engaging in healthy courtship. Some abstain fully or feel disgusted by the thought of intercourse while others may try to reclaim their sexuality through a sense of conquest.
    * Some people have partners when they're assaulted and generally three things can stem from that
    - It could strengthen their bond even if it's challenging because a loving partner can go a long way to aid recovery.
    - A person may not know how to respond to their partner's trauma and become distant and unhelpful.
    - Some may not believe their partner or feel as though they've been cheated on or wronged (as horrible as it sounds,) and it causes further damage.
    * Some become cold and distance themselves, refuse help and avoid discussing their assault. Some victims reach out openly or at least need extra support and assurance throughout their recovery. No one is the same and their feelings will likely fluctuate.
    * Even those who have "come to terms" will experience their ups and downs. It could be a physical act once, but the mental trauma is reoccurring.
     
  9. cosmic lights

    cosmic lights Contributor Contributor

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    Show it rather than say it.
     
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  10. Xoic

    Xoic Prognosticator of Arcana Ridiculosum Contributor Blogerator

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    Is this the main character? And also the narrator?

    She could get sullen and silent or angry when related topics come up, and other people around her might ask her why or show curiosity about her reluctance to reveal certain things. This can be done in a demanding way by some characters or with great tenderness and concern by others. She might talk around the issue without straight out saying it. You know how people do. Some more perceptive people might understand, and if they're tactful they wouldn't blurt it right out. Think subtext—this is how people often communicate when it comes to powerful subjects anyway, they rarely come straight out and say things 'on the nose'.
     
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  11. Kendall Wellman

    Kendall Wellman New Member

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    I'm trying to reply and I'm getting an error message that says it spam or inappropriate?
    Can I not mention people who replied by name?
     
  12. Xoic

    Xoic Prognosticator of Arcana Ridiculosum Contributor Blogerator

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    Well that's strange. You should be able to. In fact, if you use the @ symbol followed immediately by someone's username (spelled exactly right) you should get this result: @Kendall Wellman . Maybe a mod can explain what's going on.
     
  13. Kendall Wellman

    Kendall Wellman New Member

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    How do I contact a mod?
     
  14. Kendall Wellman

    Kendall Wellman New Member

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    Is @Homer Potvin a mod?
     
  15. Kendall Wellman

    Kendall Wellman New Member

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    I'm aiming for a young/new adult audience so I don't want her to live threw a flash back or anything. And honestly I really care for the character and I don't want to graphically describe something that horrible happening to her. To answer one of the questions she is not the main character and the book is in third person limited. A little backstory that might make it easier to see the situation is that the world is set in a medieval fantasy and she was assaulted at random by an officer in an invading army. This happened years ago and she was dating her girlfriend (Now wife) at the time. The chapter where she talks about it, is from her perspective as well. @Kehlida and @Whitecrow , thank you for all the diverse angles that it might have happened. It really made me think how she would react in her normal life to different situations. And @Xoic that situation for why it would come up, would make a lot of sense.

    Overall she is a very angry character she's very hot headed. Her outlet for those emotions is her self defense training. She becomes able to prevent anything like that from happening again. As for sharing, up until the point of the other character finding out, the only person she shares with is her girlfriend/wife. (Also side note the man that i mentioned who tries to kiss her is unaware of her relationship.)

    By the end of the story she is confronted with the person who assaulted her and she does actually kill him. I have already written that scene and its pretty emotional from her perspective. I hope that helps imagine the scenario, and all of this has been incredibly helpful. So if these new insights into my story give any of you other ideas I would be really excited to hear more perspectives. But Still thank you all for your input.
     
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  16. Kendall Wellman

    Kendall Wellman New Member

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    I literally removed the word "so" from the beginning... Oh well. There's the post I meant to make. Not sure if I can delete the other nonsense.
     
  17. Homer Potvin

    Homer Potvin A tombstone hand and a graveyard mind Staff Supporter Contributor

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    At your service.
     
  18. Thom

    Thom Active Member

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    Post traumatic stress disorder. The character is bound to suffer from it. And if she (or you) are not going to state it then, if not flashbacks, then her suffering from memories of it can be used. You mention another character wanting to kiss her romantically. From his perspective, it could exciting and promising of something in the future. But for her, she may feel trapped even if nothing is holding her, with an expectation of pain and helplessness.

    Also, if she is unable to exact revenge against those who actually did it, this could cause frustration and anger that could be explosive to those around her. And maybe even an increase in brutality to those she would see as flunkies to those she can't reach, at least at the moment.
     

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