1. naruzeldamaster

    naruzeldamaster Senior Member

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    Is a cause for Terror better left to the imagination?

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by naruzeldamaster, May 19, 2021.

    Ok so I have this one antagonist who's personality is possibly disarming, like, that's the point. She's supposed to be a 'monster' on the inside (She's a Jaded AI who's been reconstructed a ton of times and has memories of it happening each time, which made her 'worse' and more unstable each time) and I kind of want to show that.

    However part of me kind of...doesn't want to like actually show it, I have some other ways that can show how 'unhinged' she is that don't outright require me to show her being a monster on camera.

    I honestly feel that the worst monsters are the ones we don't see, and implied stuff is always worse than the actual content. (Like how the inspiration for Giygas in Earthbound was because the director saw what he thought was rape as a child)

    I'm thinking of having a build up to a scene, and then just...cutting to the next day and showing her acting like everything was 'normal'. Obviously she'll act coy and drop some 'hints' to imply things.

    There's also some things I plan on doing to show how unstable she is, but they're more subtle in terms of narrative.
     
  2. Matt E

    Matt E Ruler of the planet Omicron Persei 8 Contributor

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    Yes, this technique can be very effective: letting the reader fill it in themselves. The reader has to be primed though. They have to know what kind of thing to fill in. It may help to add in a few small details, or the write "around it." Don't show the actual thing, but show the consequences.
     
  3. Xoic

    Xoic Prognosticator of Arcana Ridiculosum Contributor Blogerator

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    Do like you said—work up to the act but then cut to next chapter. But then the reader discovers what was done, maybe a news report of a body found, and it's the person she was flirting with when we knew she had that knife, or whatever, and it was found in pieces scattered from 10th street to 42nd.
     
  4. jannert

    jannert Retired Mod Supporter Contributor

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    I'd say it depends on what role the reader is playing here. Are you wanting them to solve a mystery? To be fooled? Or to knowingly follow this particular character into whatever end game you're leading her?

    Be careful not to be creating unnecessary mystery, because that can put readers off on the wrong track. You can see somebody with a knife in one scene, then in the next scene a body is discovered slashed to bits with a knife. But unless the reader sees what actually happened (ie whodunnit, not the whole gory show itself) there will always be a question. Is the author setting this up so we think this character is a murderer, but in fact, it's somebody else? Writers have been deliberately playing this trick on readers for ages, so make sure you're not doing it unintentionally.

    But yeah. Usually it's scarier for the reader to use imagination.
     
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  5. Xoic

    Xoic Prognosticator of Arcana Ridiculosum Contributor Blogerator

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    This is true depending on how it's done. But if you want the reader to know it was her that can be done too, without literally needing to show her doing it. It can be done with just a bit of telling, like she smiles on hearing the news item and remembers how much she enjoyed what she did. You still didn't have to show it happening or make readers dwell on the gory details.
     
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  6. Not the Territory

    Not the Territory Contributor Contributor Contest Winner 2023

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    It's also effective to show only the reactions of people witnessing the carnage.
     
  7. naruzeldamaster

    naruzeldamaster Senior Member

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    In previous chapters a character sort of 'shows' how demented she is by explaining how disturbing it is to see her take on the physical form of the person who literally gave her life to give her life. (in a quite literal sense, she was using her power to create the energy to give her life, which was toxic to her body and caused her to die in the process) She openly mocked the person's mannerisms too, so the reader kind of already knows she's a sicko.
    I was thinking of having the scene being her cornering a person she has a disagreement with earlier in the chapter in a dark alley. Probably flirting with them at first (in the 'creepy' way) and then cutting to next day either next scene or next chapter. There's no mystery since she drops hints by saying stuff like 'Oh, he's...no longer with us' without really explicitly saying she's responsible.
    The thing I'm actually debating is weather to cut to the next scene or chapter.
     
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  8. jannert

    jannert Retired Mod Supporter Contributor

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    Yes, absolutely.
     
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  9. jannert

    jannert Retired Mod Supporter Contributor

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    This for sure, BUT the OP should just take care not to sow unintended confusion in the reader, by trying too hard to conceal the details or avoiding depicting the scene. If they want the reader to KNOW their main character is responsible for the deeds, they need to make this crystal clear.
     
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  10. naruzeldamaster

    naruzeldamaster Senior Member

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    I mean literally the next chapter leads off with a scene of the antagonist acting like things are 'normal' while dropping hints about what she did. With other characters questioning why she was so brutal.
    And beyond that, there's a scene a bit later in that chapter with the character who originally programmed the AI analyzing the crime scene and being rather puzzled about the brutality, but being certain it was her.
    So I'm not sure how the reader could get confused about who did it.
     
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  11. jannert

    jannert Retired Mod Supporter Contributor

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    I'm not saying it's confusing—in this case it sounds fairly straightforward. :)
     
  12. naruzeldamaster

    naruzeldamaster Senior Member

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    Yeah, though I get what people are saying about context.
    If the point of such a scene is 'whodunit' then obviously it's best to leave it ambiguous.
    If the point of the scene is to clearly show who did the murder, it's best to leave a trail even if the murder itself happens off camera.
    The only reason I question it being better to have it off camera, is that there's kind of a 'rule' that's consistent in this show. If your death isn't on camera, you're possibly not dead.

    Right now my debate is between cutting to next scene or next chapter, since both have pros and cons.
     
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