Ten nasty ways to go; according to science. https://www.grunge.com/421909/the-worst-ways-to-die-according-to-scientists/
I use a combination of burning and crucifixion in my sci-fi books. First, the offender is crucified, or rather circlefixed. Either chains or hover cuffs are placed around their wrists and ankles, then their limbs are pulled hard to the sides so their body forms an X, like Da Vinci's Vitruvian Man. After that they will remain stretched in that position for X time (hehe). Finally being injected with a drug that heightens their senses before being doused with a flammable liquid and set on fire. They are sometimes kept alive for a certain time with water or nutrition tubes inserted into them, the tubes can either be inserted through the mouth to provide a suitable gag, or otherwise inserted via surgery.
The worst way to go would be in a giant deli slicer. Those things are inconceivably sharp. (I once cut a fingernail on one, straight down the middle. God, that hurt for weeks.) I would have the character watch themselves being sliced into Canadian bacon. Then they have to watch as hungry Bronxites turn them into a pizza pie, which they then ruin by adding pineapple, adding insult to injury. Actually, I like Hawaiian pizza, especially with those red pepper flakes, but for these purposes, humor demands that the pineapple ruins the dish. And yes, it's Hawaiian, even if made in the Bronx. It's funny that it's really not Hawaiian anymore than that bacon is Canadian. I think the death has to be humiliating too.
Oh, dear, and here I thought this was going to be about technical aspects of writing a character out of a novel. Exit stage left, pursued by a rabid bear with deli slicer claws...
I remember a story from way back when, about a mink farmer who built a machine to kill and skin the mink, so the pelts could be made into coats. The mink figure out what the plan is, so they have an uprising and feed the farmer into his own machine. The police just assume it was a pack of militant animal rights nutjobs, since all the mink are gone.
If I had to kill off a character, I would make it happen in an unexplainable way. I live on a farm and I've seen animals die in ways you would never understand. So I would make the death something you would think would be nearly impossible.
I knew it was too stupid to be real. But the craziest way to die will be just about anything from the 100 ways to die show. Not that it matters to me personally (I'm a dude) but I'm glad Mythbusters busted the one about breast implants. If something like that were real, you'd be hearing news reports about it lol
