1. AmethystCrystalGem

    AmethystCrystalGem New Member

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    How to show serious minded character grieving a major loss

    Discussion in 'Character Development' started by AmethystCrystalGem, Aug 7, 2022.

    I am writing a story in which one of the characters, who is rather serious-minded and stoic, must face the loss of most of his friends in addition to his child. His remaining friend was also hit hard by the loss (they were a friendship group); when he saw his friends' bodies, he sobbed uncontrollably. This remaining friend is a more free-spirited, childlike character, which means that such a reaction makes sense. So, how can I depict a stoic, serious character grieving a major loss?
     
  2. Xoic

    Xoic Prognosticator of Arcana Ridiculosum Contributor Blogerator

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    What is the POV? Is it a distant narrator, or a close one? His torment can be most clearly shown through a close POV that delves into his thoughts and feelings. But that isn't automatically the right way to go for your story. Sometimes it might be better to pull back a bit and let readers feel for him and to some extent imagine what he's going through by his reactions. Spelling out thoughts and feelings can easily turn into melodrama if you're not careful.

    Is this character even a POV character?
     
  3. evild4ve

    evild4ve Critique is stranger than fiction Supporter Contributor

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    How to do it depends somewhat on what it's aiming to achieve for the story.
    Why is the grief being shown to the reader, instead of left inside the character's private mind?
    Is it a climax that the story's been building up to (in which case why make the climax something the OP finds hard-to-write?), or is the story moving from-A-to-B and we need the reader to get through a reasonably plausible depiction of the grief on the way to the next thing the OP wants to write about?
    How does the scene fit into the structure, and what's before and after it?
     
  4. AmethystCrystalGem

    AmethystCrystalGem New Member

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    The story is moving from A-B and the description of the grief is a way to the next thing I want to write about. I am writing in 3rd person as a distant narrator.
     
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  5. Mogador

    Mogador Senior Member

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    Some men don't or can't emote at the event, can they?

    It comes out some time later, though.

    For example its two month's later and he's just had one of those crappy days that come around every now and then. Only this time he flips and now his bathroom door is full of holes and it feels like he's broken a knuckle. On really cold days the knuckle hurts and on those days he speaks to people a bit less and thinks a bit more.
     
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  6. deadrats

    deadrats Contributor Contributor

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    Nice example! Did you write that? It's quite good.
     
  7. Keongxi

    Keongxi Member

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    You could make the serious character sob uncontrollably when he sees the bodies too. He is too serious until he cannot bear it anymore after the death so he lets it all out. Unless you want him to remain serious in the eyes of the audience/reader then you can make him just have what people call a silent tear.
     
  8. Xoic

    Xoic Prognosticator of Arcana Ridiculosum Contributor Blogerator

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    Yes, strong men sometimes do this, often after some heavy drinking. But that part isn't even necessary.

    Conversely. he might just become even more hardass and stoic, to a ridiculous degree. Maybe people who know him plead with him to let the emotions out or they'll destroy him, but he clamps his jaw even tighter and goes about some of his most dangerous activites and seems to be pushing the danger harder than necessary. He might take to very uncharacteristically starting fights with strangers over seemingly nothing. Maybe he becomes humorless and his eyes become bleak and empty.
     
  9. Louanne Learning

    Louanne Learning Happy Wonderer Contributor Contest Winner 2023 Contest Winner 2022

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    The reaction to death is a numbness that incapacitates you. Our brains cannot comprehend the finality of death. It take months or years to process.

    Of course, this all depends on how close the departed was to you.

    A stoic, serious person looks for the meaning in the loss, and that is a process.
     
  10. AmethystCrystalGem

    AmethystCrystalGem New Member

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    I have written that he is drinking heavily and lashing out at his surviving friend.
     
  11. Louanne Learning

    Louanne Learning Happy Wonderer Contributor Contest Winner 2023 Contest Winner 2022

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    It makes sense that a serious-minded person would turn to alcohol when faced with such a major devastation that seems to be meaningless.

    But I'm not sure a stoic would lash out. The stoic response is more along the lines of acceptance. Maybe his stoicism is tested?
     
  12. AmethystCrystalGem

    AmethystCrystalGem New Member

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    Yes, it's tested.
     
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  13. Xoic

    Xoic Prognosticator of Arcana Ridiculosum Contributor Blogerator

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    I'm not sure it means stoic in the original Greek sense, to most people it just means 'someone who doesn't show any emotions, or doesn't feel them".
     
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  14. Not the Territory

    Not the Territory Contributor Contributor Contest Winner 2023

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    I would also ask why is he stoic. Someone could have a stoic demeanor because she wants, or even needs, to be an emotional buffer for the people around her. That's why men are often expected to show less emotion than women in common culture (sometimes it seems like women are more stoic than men these days, though, anecdotally speaking). Or he could be stoic simply because he processes emotions differently, or doesn't know how to express them, or is more comfortable not expressing them.

    The crack is of course absolutely fine, but if there is a delay from loss to exhibition, knowing his reason for stoicism in the first place may help nail down the both catalyst that leads to his explosion and perhaps the content of it.
     
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  15. AmethystCrystalGem

    AmethystCrystalGem New Member

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    He's stoic as his role was to keep everyone in check. While he does ultimately love and care for them all, he often hides his emotions as they get in the way of his role.
     
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  16. AmethystCrystalGem

    AmethystCrystalGem New Member

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    UPDATE: He initially copes with alcohol, and then, post addiction becomes a recluse. However, time passes, and he becomes more receptive to people approaching him. He buries his child in the same hole that the other friends were buried in. He sees the bodies in the state that they're in, and suddenly it hits him, and he lets the tears flow.
     

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