Tavern's Lads & Girls Discussion Thread

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Raven, Apr 30, 2008.

  1. Mercurial

    Mercurial Contributor Contributor

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    Tah-dahhhh.

    I left a nasty message on his phone, because I'm just getting sick of this. First, it's all good. Then after the happy period, it's all arguing, peppered with mild pleasantry. Then, suddenly, nothing? We may not get along all of the time, but that doesnt mean I want him out of my life.

    He's moving to New York in a week or so for his dad's new job and to continue his schooling, so unless I end up going to school anywhere near Hyde Park (which actually is a possibility as I'm applying to several east coast universities and colleges, of which at least two are in NY), it's unlikely I'll see him for quite some time, if ever again. I've pissed him off enough to probably make him hope so.

    I'll reiterate --I dont want him out of my life. :(
    He may be the most unpleasant person in the world at times, but dammit he's my best friend, too. I mean, that's he can have such a hold over me, influence my moods and actions so drastically --we're so close!

    I wont know where he lives, except in proximity to the school (which school, I do know the name of) and I obviously wont have his old home phone --it's unlikely he'll have a home phone. And the cell phone is being dumped too; he cant afford it right now.

    The last thing he said is that he wanted this to be a clean break, like maybe it'd be easier... I despised and only read through part of the Twilight series, but god... I think I get why everyone's so obsessed with it? Because the same situation happened to me --SuperBoy meets Plain Jane; euphoria. SuperBoy feels inadequete for whatever reason and leaves Plain Jane; everyone is unhappy. (Especially Plain Jane --me. I hate everything right now.)

    At least the good news is you'll never have to listen to me b!tch about him ever again. :(
     
  2. adamant

    adamant Contributor Contributor

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    I am without comment in regards to the above post. However, a scenario of my own has left me in need of a proper strategy.

    There is a girl in one of my classes. She happened to sit across from me today. We exchanged a few glances, it was hard to tell if she was flirting, had wandering eyes, or was simply determining if I was looking at her because I kept cutting it short and looking back at our teacher. In any case, I intrepreted it as the first thought and began smiling to myself. It was a good, missed feeling.

    Anyway, I was wondering what would be a good way to approach her. I know practically nothing about her, and there is little to discuss in terms of what happens during class as it barely started. Ofttimes, I am not the outgoing person unless something specific has influenced that mood, so it feels a bit awkward. That said, I am growing tired of failing to meet new people—especially those as attractive as her—and I really want to give this a try.
     
  3. inkslinger

    inkslinger Active Member

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    I think casually and slowly getting to know her would be a good place to start. Maybe randomly strike up a small conversation with her one day and build it from there. Is there anything you two have in common? I think becoming acquainted is the best place to start.
     
  4. adamant

    adamant Contributor Contributor

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    I agree. There is still a bit of apprehension in terms of the actual approach, though. My idea was to try to save a seat for her, but I'm not sure how successful that would be. If she exhibited that much inclination, I think I would be quite confident with the rest of the process.

    Maybe the widespread usage of creeper has gotten to me, but just going up to her after a class seems a bit odd—especially if I was misreading her. Though there is a very high chance that I am overthinking everything.
     
  5. inkslinger

    inkslinger Active Member

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    I think planning the situation down to a t is odd in itself, and just complicates everything and something may go wrong. Just try and wait for an opportune moment. I know guys that start with a question pertaining to however they know you in the first place. Seeing as you guys have a class together, maybe try asking her a question about class and then go from there. Try being a little witty, make her laugh or smile; she'll appreciate it and it'll help her remember you, making it much easier for a second interaction. I think saving a seat for her would be a little much to begin with, maybe just instead see where she sits and nonchalantly sit beside, behind, in front of, or just diagonally from her? That way she can be nearby and it'll be easier to find an opening for interaction.
     
  6. adamant

    adamant Contributor Contributor

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    Like I said, I am prone to overthink as though it were a chess match or something. It happens to be my modus operandi. I know saving a seat might seem a bit much, but she came in a bit later than most others—which would also make it hard for me to position myself relative to her. There is a certain difficulty in making her laugh or gain intrigue if she is too far away.

    Perhaps I can just learn to speak up in class. My teacher mentioned that he likes Altoids mints—which I carry in my bag regularly—so I was thinking of interrupting him to offer one. If she is close by, I might extend that offer to her as well.
     
  7. adamant

    adamant Contributor Contributor

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    Hm... she didn't show, so now I get to wait until Monday.
     
  8. sweetchaos

    sweetchaos New Member

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    I have finally figured out what it is about him and us that bothers me. I don't know him. I know who he is with me, but I don't know who he is with others, who he is with is family, or who he is in general. I've been with him for two years and I know next to nothing about him. I'm supposed to be in love with him, but I'm beginning to realize we're strangers.

    It's lonely, and isolating, and makes me feel vulnerable to know I've put my heart in the hands of someone I'm not sure will even keep it safe.
     
  9. Neha

    Neha Beyond Infinity. Contributor

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    aww Mandie..*hugs* I wish I could say something completely brilliant and witty that'd help you, but I can't. I can just hope you get through this time with minimal hurt. I'm always here if you want to rant.
     
  10. sweetchaos

    sweetchaos New Member

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    Thanks Neha :)
     
  11. burned_out

    burned_out New Member

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    Holy crap, thats my problem too...sadly enough...

    Except for me, I know where he's at most of the time, I just don't know what he's doing.

    Like, he won't call me for two, three days at a time, then acts like theres nothing to it, even though I'm ticked, I'm too chicken to say anything about it.

    He's one of those people you really don't want to argue with because he always has a better point than yours. Its maddening! >.<

     
  12. inkslinger

    inkslinger Active Member

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    ....hmmm, I feel the opposite. I hate feeling obligated to talk to someone every single day (yes, even a boyfriend). I just think a good day or so break every now and then isn't a big deal. But I'm the type of person who feels her space being filled up very easily and is very irritated by that.

    I'm just not clingy. I could care less who he is with his friends or family unless it comes into direct effect with my life. And even then, I recognize everyone acts differently depending on who they're around.
     
  13. burned_out

    burned_out New Member

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    Well see, thats a bigger problem for us than most. I don't get to see him for days at a time, due to my parents being really really weird about him and not wanting me to date him.

    Plus we've been together for a year and seven months, so it takes a toll on our already-worn out relationship.
     
  14. Mercurial

    Mercurial Contributor Contributor

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    I should probably just quit fantasizing that one day he'll show up on my doorstep, forgiving me for simply being me ('cause apparently I fail as a person) and promising never to argue again. Or, when I travel to New York for an upcoming interview, and I just happen to pass him on the very crowded streets of NYC or walk into the restaurant he's cooking at, and we'll see each other and makeup and everything will be fine again, back to normal.

    It just keeps hurting too much to be optomistic about that. :(
     
  15. Kratos

    Kratos New Member

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    Well, one of my close friends (who I actually like) asked me if I liked anyone. Answering truthfully, I said yes. Now she's constantly asking me what me and this mystery girl (who is in fact her) talk about and asking me for clues to who the girl is so she can help us get together. This is very confusing for me, because she doesn't seem to think at all that I could be talking about her, and that's not a good sign. Plus, I don't want to ruin our friendship by going out with her just yet. I'm so confused. Any advice?
     
  16. Neha

    Neha Beyond Infinity. Contributor

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    Ask her what she would think if you said that the girl was her......she's happy ask her out, she's not tell her it was a joke.

    Wait a min, was that as crappy as I thought it was? But give it a try anyway :p
     
  17. alanmt

    alanmt New Member

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    Kratos, you had better adjust your emotions to put her firmly in the friend category.

    Then, go find a different girlfriend.
     
  18. Shadow Dragon

    Shadow Dragon Contributor Contributor

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    Dude, tell her. Honestly, what's the worst that could happen? She says no and things may be a little awkward for a day or two and it goes back to normal. You have nothing to lose and a lot to gain by telling.
     
  19. Just a small smackerel

    Just a small smackerel New Member

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    Kratos: I think that it would be in your best interest to tell her. Obviously, it could wind up in hurt, but if you're good friends, you should be able to remain that way regardless. Though, if you are completely against the idea of confessing, then I suggest that you shouldn't until you have a bit more confidence in yourself. You know, even if she is constantly asking who it is you like, you never know, it could be that she does like you, but wants to mask her disappointment that you may like someone else.
     
  20. Kratos

    Kratos New Member

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    Well everyone, I just told her, and she said she liked me too. :)

    Thanks for the advice!
     
  21. ValianceInEnd

    ValianceInEnd Active Member

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    Haha, a word of advice for the future. If a girl persists on asking you who it is you like after you said you do like someone, chances are very good they just want you to come out with it so they can reveal their feelings for you as well. ;)
     
  22. Kratos

    Kratos New Member

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    Advice taken. :cool:
     
  23. A2theDre

    A2theDre Active Member

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    Damn you. I wish stuff like that would work for me as easily as it does for you!
     
  24. Kratos

    Kratos New Member

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    Haha, nothing like this has ever happened to me before, I kept thinking I was dreaming.
     
  25. A2theDre

    A2theDre Active Member

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    Just hope it lasts buddy. Heartbreak is never good!
     

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